I'll have to beg you all for your forbearance; the night was long and sleep only walked lightly and fled too soon. Every time I tried to think of
other things, or simply nothing, my mind returned to her.
It's still the same now. I have read every post here and feel comforted, even as I sit here writing and try to accept that she's really gone. With me
in my soul and being, yes: always. But in this here and now, she's gone.
Some hours ago I was reading back through other posts I'd written where I talked about Dada's struggles and my own. And back on November 24 2018 in
She is in a world within her own mind, a mind
that is lost and can't find a way out into the sunshine.
Call it an intuitive look into the true being of the one I love, call it whatever, but yesterday, there was one truly wonderful thing that
Just a few minutes before the Dr called to tell me Dada had passed away, the sun came out. The grey snow clouds moved away and for the first time in
many days there was a brilliantly blue sky. The sun shone on the freshly-fallen snow and everywhere I looked it was sparkling like galaxies of tiny
diamonds. It was almost too beautiful. Then, when that phone call came through, I realized that the sun came out just when Dada passed.
I believe, I hope, I pray, that even though my beautiful lady was sleeping, somewhere within her mind she sensed that glorious light. At last, her
suffering mind could find a way out of the darkness. At last, she could be free!
And so she turned to the light and went away -- away into that wonderful, welcoming sunshine and found the peace she so much deserved.
Oh, Dada... I love you so much! Run free, my love, run free through fields of golden light.