How safe are your kids on the school bus home....

I have just had a hair raising experience that I want to vent about some more, ive told every parent and teacher I could find and now I'm ranting here.

My 8 year old son got off the school bus yesterday without the bus driver noticing, luckily he went with a couple of his mates and was picked up by their mother so all is well and he had a great time.

So the long and the short of it is the bus was running 30 minutes late because of roadworks, I have a back up plan with the driver if I'm not at the usual stop to keep him on the bus till he gets to the local general store (we live in a rural area with a lot of farms and stuff), there is no phone reception for mobiles and the store has a landline so if worse comes to worst we can contact them. So after waiting at the usual stop for 20 minutes past the usual drop off time I'm worried and went to the store to see if the bus had been passed, it had not so I waited, the bus turns up and go to the door and my boys not there, I query the driver and he was like he was here, but hes not on the bus, he had no idea where he dropped him off but it was somewhere in a 25 km radius .

As you can imagine at this I'm livid and in a state of panic, the store owner rings around to see if hed been dropped at another stop where theres a roadhouse, no joy, the country folk are great and next thing you know I have 3 lots of parents who knew the boy driving round the place looking for him, I'm on the phone to the bus company being like " WTF man where my kid, how in #s name is this possible " the bus company basically tells me the driver is not responsible for the child and then tells me in fact the driver cannot stop the child from leaving the bus of course ive lost it at this point and told the guy hes looking at lawsuits civil suits etc etc etc.

35 minutes or so go by and a message finally comes through from this mum that has him, lucky she had my number, I ring here and thank god she has him, so ok I call off the searchers thank everyone and with a somewhat elevated heart rate go and get the boy.

So next day I take the boy to school and sit down with the principle and tell her what happened, as you can imagine she was far from impressed, I told her what the bus company told me and she says that's not right, the bus company has a duty of care to get the child back safely to the parents, she tells me she will ring the bus company and I tell her i will ring as well to try and get to the bottom of it.

I speak to the local manager and we get into an argument and he tells me again that the bus driver cannot be responsible, that my child sneaked off the bus and basically that's that. Of course I'm not having a bar of that so I say to him there is no chance of my boy is ever getting on that bus again and I suspect I'm not going to be the only parent that has this train of thought, the manager asked me what I expect to happen and I explain if my my boy gets on the bus I expect him to be dropped off to me and nobody else unless has been arranged prior, its not ok that my 8 year old leaves school gets on the school bus and is somehow lost in transit, anyhow I inform the school again that was the result of my call with the manager.

I assume the principle has had words with the bus company as the manager rings me back and apologises, and works out a way to make sure this never happens again so my son can safely travel on the bus,the company has spoken to the drivers and is creating policy for the drivers to be more viligant so this never happens again.

That was one of the most stressful experiences ive had, its been over 24 hours and im still in shock, i cant get my heart rate down and still livid.

So how safe is your child ? Not one of the parents i spoke to that have kids on this bus were aware that this could happen, i can tell you its not in the brochure the bus company hands out...

a reply to: hopenotfeariswhatweneed

What a frightening experience for you! I wouldn't trust my kid with that bus driver either. I'm so glad your boy is home and safe.

a reply to: hopenotfeariswhatweneed

Omg that sounds horrific for a parent to go through. And I don’t even have kids.

When I was younger my parents setup some system of carpool between my best friends moms. It worked for the most part but every now and then we did have to take the bus.

Helicopter parenting is bad. Very bad.
Good for your kid for doing their own thing.
As a parent myself I appreciate your concern for the where about of your child.
You need to let your children explore (ideally with friends).

I feel for you, but we also must respect the child.

WHAT?

Is your bus driver someone with magical powers, or is he via contract obliged to let children only leave on their designated stop?

What kind of insanity is that? There could be a hundred pupil on the bus (in my area at least, buses are large), how should a bus driver check on every one of them? Is that like a taxi service or a "accompany your children and be like a bodyguard"?

Overall, this is helicopter parenting. If you want your childen to depend on you your whole life (and what when you die?), go on like this.

Teach your children to be able to live on their own. Small steps first, but a ride on the bus and leaving on the wrong stop is a failure of your child, not the bus drivers' one.

originally posted by: randomtangentsrme
Helicopter parenting is bad. Very bad.
Good for your kid for doing their own thing.
As a parent myself I appreciate your concern for the where about of your child.
You need to let your children explore (ideally with friends).

I feel for you, but we also must respect the child.

What? The kid is 8. 3rd grade lol You are supposed to know where your 8 year old is at all times. Of you dont you are not doing your job.

Respect the child? Hes 8? He might still wet the bed and suck his thumb.

originally posted by: ManFromEurope
WHAT?

Is your bus driver someone with magical powers, or is he via contract obliged to let children only leave on their designated stop?

What kind of insanity is that? There could be a hundred pupil on the bus (in my area at least, buses are large), how should a bus driver check on every one of them? Is that like a taxi service or a "accompany your children and be like a bodyguard"?

Overall, this is helicopter parenting. If you want your childen to depend on you your whole life (and what when you die?), go on like this.

Teach your children to be able to live on their own. Small steps first, but a ride on the bus and leaving on the wrong stop is a failure of your child, not the bus drivers' one.

lol hes 8.

a reply to: Night Star

Thanks nightstar, it was a harrowing experience, one hell of an adrenaline rush.

a reply to: Allaroundyou

Man I yell ya it was intense, the lad has to get the bus I don't have any other resources, it's miles between neighbors around here, if I could get him to school any other way I would.

originally posted by: randomtangentsrme
Helicopter parenting is bad. Very bad.
Good for your kid for doing their own thing.
As a parent myself I appreciate your concern for the where about of your child.
You need to let your children explore (ideally with friends).

I feel for you, but we also must respect the child.

Um I'm really not sure how you can qualify that remark, are you completely insane, should I get him a gun and drivers license and send him on his way like holy crap man he's 8 years old, clearly you have no kids nor have any clue about what an 8 year old needs...

a reply to: ManFromEurope

No your wrong, the bus company has a duty of care to bring the child back to the parent, if you think an 8 year should be making independent decisions out alone in the world I'm not sure what else to say to you without it being derogatory.

originally posted by: notsure1

originally posted by: ManFromEurope
WHAT?

Is your bus driver someone with magical powers, or is he via contract obliged to let children only leave on their designated stop?

What kind of insanity is that? There could be a hundred pupil on the bus (in my area at least, buses are large), how should a bus driver check on every one of them? Is that like a taxi service or a "accompany your children and be like a bodyguard"?

Overall, this is helicopter parenting. If you want your childen to depend on you your whole life (and what when you die?), go on like this.

Teach your children to be able to live on their own. Small steps first, but a ride on the bus and leaving on the wrong stop is a failure of your child, not the bus drivers' one.

lol hes 8.

I know right, I'm blown away by the remarks by those 2 ,helicopter parenting just WTF!

a reply to: hopenotfeariswhatweneed

right

simple questions - how do you propose that :

the bus ensures that your child :

A - gets on teh bus at school

B - gets off the buss @ correct stop [ which has 2 options ]

you already admit that your child de-bussed of its own volition

got that " plan yet " ?????????????????

when you do - post it as a seperate thread - and see what a crap storm of paranoia about violations of rights and privacy tyour " plan " precipitates

a reply to: ignorant_ape

A. the teachers all account for each and every child and escort them to the bus.

B. The child is not of an age to have the capacity to make decisions that are safe , if the child was able to look after themselves they wouldn't need parents to do it, schools and school buses have a duty of care to return the child to the parent.

just for context - at age 8 - i walked home - alome from school- a distance of 375m

at age 11 - i skipped the bus - and walked 3.25 km home - because - due to beurocratic idiocy - i didnt get a bus pass - but was given a chit that allowed me free travel on ANY bus and as a single bus didnt run from the school to my house - i got 3 / day it took me 1 day to realise that i could use this to save money because - it was so open ended - i could use it to travel unlimited distance - cue adventure

a reply to: ignorant_ape

Where did you grow up, I'm guessing suburbs. It's lonely and wild out here the only people wanting to see a helpless 8 year old wandering alone is a predator. I used to wander a bit myself as a lad, but this is different, If the roles reversed and it was me that lost him, child services would have a reasonable case to remove him from my care .

a reply to: hopenotfeariswhatweneed

That story struck a note with me.

I remember when I was a child living in Detroit, I took the school bus every day.
I had to be in kindergarten at the time. But I remember on the school bus a friend and I were playing with his He-man toys.
He said he had a lot of them at home and said for me to come over.
Being excited, I said sure without going home first to ask my mom.
His stop was about 3 blocks before mine.

I got off at his stop then realized how am I going to get home. So I chased the bus, but it didn't stop.
I ran down 7 mile, crying because I was scared snippless.

When I got home, I lied to my mom and said the bus driver told me I had to get off.
Well that got mom fired up...
The next day mom was at the bus stop...and she let that poor bus driver have.
Then the driver asked me, did I tell you to get off? or did you sneak off and make up a tale.

I started crying because I knew, with mom all fired up the way she was, I surely was about to get the wooden spoon.
I admitted I lied. Mom took me by the hand and brought me into the house.

The wooden spoon was broken on my ass shortly after.
And all that did was get her going even more.

I remember her leaving my room and coming back with the large plastic spoon.
She slapped my dresser with it and that was good enough for me.

a reply to: hopenotfeariswhatweneed

Just curious, did your kid face any repercussions or did you only blame the bus company?

I know my son would have done that 1 time and not repeated the mistake.

originally posted by: randomtangentsrme
Helicopter parenting is bad. Very bad.
Good for your kid for doing their own thing.
As a parent myself I appreciate your concern for the where about of your child.
You need to let your children explore (ideally with friends).

I feel for you, but we also must respect the child.

Dude, you have no idea what helicopter parenting is!

What is being described is not in the slightest helicopter parenting. It's simply a parent wanting to know where the kid is. Helicopter parenting would be not ever letting the kid on the bus in the first place. There is plenty of freedom to explore so long as a parent knows basically where the child is. At 8, this sounds about right.

I recall at that age, that I needed to let my parents know where I was going to be, especially if that wasn't where I was expected to be, and if I wasn't there and didn't let them know, they flipped their lids. But within those constraints, I was walking to the local YMCA and other things with the other kids in the my neighborhood.

But if you expect a kid to be in one of two places off the bus and there is no easy phone contact for you to be informed of sudden changes, then as a parent you will freak over an 8-year-old not being where he should be when you expect him (or her) to be there.

originally posted by: stosh64
a reply to: hopenotfeariswhatweneed

Just curious, did your kid face any repercussions or did you only blame the bus company?

I know my son would have done that 1 time and not repeated the mistake.

OP, I'm wondering this as well.

I do understand your anger and I'm sure I would feel the same way. But I do have to say that I don't see how a bus driver is supposed to control which kid disembarks at which spot. How many kids ride that bus? I'm sure that bus drivers DO eventually start to see and know who gets off at which stop, but what about kids who have dates to go to a friend's house after school? Are they supposed to say no? Do you have to give a note to the bus driver then? What about when a kid is sick and not on the bus that day- is the bus driver supposed to call your house and ask why the kid is not at the bus stop today? Days that you drove the kid in- does the bus driver call you and ask why no kid on bus today?

I think your bus driver handled it crappily with you, for sure. But I'm not sure we can expect bus drivers to be attendance keepers. It's a little annoying that the driver didn't notice your kid getting off at a different stop. But what if you had made that arrangement that day? Would you appreciate it if you had to let the bus driver know your daily plans for your child's activities?

Back to your kiddo...does he realize the trouble he caused?