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Texas Man Admits Kidnapping 79 People To Anally Probe Them While Disguised As An Alien

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posted on Dec, 6 2018 @ 04:04 PM
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So apparently there is an explanation for at least 79 alien abduction/anal probing cases in the states of Texas, Nevada, New Mexico and California and possibly more over the last 40 years.



Mr. White confessed to using a mix of hallucinatory drugs containing '___' and PCP to subdue his victims, before approaching them and carrying them inside his truck to assault them. In order to confuse his victims even more, he had set up the inside of his truck to look like an operating room and would wear an alien costume.


He chose his victims among loners and marginals- but also among a few folks you might be familiar with:



“He chose victims who were gullible and might fall for his traps. Several of his victims were actually ufo investigators he found hanging out around Area 51 or Roswell.”


I guess the guys in black SUVs aren't the only threats around Area 51!

Full Story

Relax people! It's just a little probing humor!!!

edit on 6-12-2018 by GeauxHomeYoureDrunk because: (no reason given)




posted on Dec, 6 2018 @ 04:10 PM
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Wow. I mean I do have to give the guy an A+ for creativity I guess.... Just bizarre.

err err
edit on 6-12-2018 by CosmicAwakening because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 6 2018 @ 04:11 PM
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Fake. News. I do believe. Got my attention initially though I must admit yo!



posted on Dec, 6 2018 @ 04:12 PM
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a reply to: CosmicAwakening

It's from a satire website. Just thought we UFO/Alien enthusiasts could use a little holiday humor!
I know I needed it today!



posted on Dec, 6 2018 @ 04:13 PM
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a reply to: The GUT

Definitely fake news! But funny as hell!



posted on Dec, 6 2018 @ 04:15 PM
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Almost pissing my pants laughing! Thanks for sharing!



posted on Dec, 6 2018 @ 04:21 PM
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a reply to: GeauxHomeYoureDrunk

LMAO, gotta love "World News Daily" with headlines like this.


DOCTORS FIND DILDO LOST 45 YEARS AGO INSIDE WOMAN’S UTERUS AFTER SHE COMPLAINS ABOUT STOMACH ACHES

BWAHAHAHA



posted on Dec, 6 2018 @ 04:22 PM
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originally posted by: GeauxHomeYoureDrunk
a reply to: CosmicAwakening

It's from a satire website. Just thought we UFO/Alien enthusiasts could use a little holiday humor!
I know I needed it today!


I didn't read the link haha. But hey, its not like it couldn't happen though.



posted on Dec, 6 2018 @ 04:28 PM
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a reply to: GeauxHomeYoureDrunk

This would explain so much when you think about it.



posted on Dec, 6 2018 @ 04:29 PM
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a reply to: GeauxHomeYoureDrunk

I was almost convinced until I read the other headlines on the page. You never really know. I could see that # happening.



Oh god that face though....Imagine you've been telling your abduction story for years...then you find out it was that guy probing your asshole dressed like an alien with his custom made alien # toys.



posted on Dec, 6 2018 @ 04:32 PM
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a reply to: GeauxHomeYoureDrunk

Some people pay good money for that lol



posted on Dec, 6 2018 @ 04:33 PM
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a reply to: dug88

You have to admit- those ears would work so well with an alien costume!



posted on Dec, 6 2018 @ 04:34 PM
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Absence of evidence isnt evidence of absence. lol



posted on Dec, 6 2018 @ 04:34 PM
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a reply to: GeauxHomeYoureDrunk

Brought to you by Batboy publication



posted on Dec, 6 2018 @ 04:36 PM
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But hey, I shouldn’t run down one of the MSM unnamed sources.



posted on Dec, 6 2018 @ 04:36 PM
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a reply to: stosh64

I know! I probably should have put this in the joke forum, but then the UFO/Alien conspiracy people might have missed it- and that would be a shame!



posted on Dec, 6 2018 @ 04:37 PM
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lol great title. I know its satire but I bet if this goes viral it will spawn a whole lot of copy cat probers



posted on Dec, 6 2018 @ 04:45 PM
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originally posted by: notsure1
lol great title. I know its satire but I bet if this goes viral it will spawn a whole lot of copy cat probers


That would be absolutely incredible!



posted on Dec, 6 2018 @ 04:48 PM
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posted on Dec, 6 2018 @ 04:54 PM
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I was wondering what those old french fries were doing on the floor of that alien spacecraft.



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