An Ode to the Knee.

In lieu of an off-topic poetry forum, let me craft this over my sensitive joint:

The knee is like a hinge, when it hurts we tend to winge.

Everything is good brother.
I don't want you to look me in the eye, and see the tears.

The best legal painkiller?
More alcohol, and maybe
Some codeine.

I hear an anthem ...
Your knee must bow.

Not today, the pain is shooting up my leg.

Like a breath, you can hold it in.

Not really ...

The biggest massacre in the US was at Wounded ...?
I can stand on one leg when I need to ...

a reply to: halfoldman

The bendy part of your leg,
Is as fragile as an egg.
When you bend it in error,
The pain is a terror,
And for drugs you must beg.


Feel better old soldier!

a reply to: halfoldman

Knees are a bastard.
Rhymey rhyme, whateva.

Along with teeth, knees are absolute proof that intelligent design is bullsh!t.

Some people like their grass,
But this knee
could kick me in the ....

a reply to: halfoldman

I kneed a beer

Democracy left me in a slump
I'm going to vote
Despite my stump.

Elections! What a drag.

Like a hippie you just shaved his hair
I feel it is no longer there.

I saw it again today
What you can't see, won't go away.

a reply to: halfoldman

To me the knee
Is a sh!t idea
Cause when it hurts
And hurts like a bastard
It's enough to give me
Explosive diarrhea

If I could fling my aching knee
into a singularity
I'd be temporarily
as [expletive] glad I could be

when it came on back to me
days before I set it free
I would cherish happily
special relativity



Sorry, that's all I have off the cuff. What I wrote at first was just mean.

The Secret of Aging:

The secret of aging,
This secret is true
I might get all rusty
When I'm aging with you.

A knee needs no socks, nor fancy caps,
Like a tent needs no winds,
Apart from the applauding flaps.

Did you circle the earth.
My German friend?
We shall dance round again
Until your face is the end.

A haunted tv show:

There are ghosts in the cards,
There are ghosts here today
And a bit like Columbus
They won't go away.

There's a ghost in every finger
And a ghost in every toe
And right down your throat
There's a ghost, you don't know.

If the spirits don't want me to marry this woman, give me a sign!



See?
Absolutely nothing.

Now which side hurts?

Actually nothing!

The Left and the Right are balanced.

The pain it grows each day you see.
For its not my fault and it wasn’t me!
It’s not my time how could this be?
I took an arrow in the knee!

a reply to: halfoldman

A Western knee-jerk reaction is never good (har, har).

That's why I sometimes watch Alja-knee-ra

a reply to: halfoldman

Sorry brother, we're in a proverbial fox-hole.
I couldn't think of anything better to lighten the mood right now.

I say common UN, raise the Titanic.

Do you know how much booze is still down there?

i told her to kneel but she had no knees
she said, is okay if i just lie flatly?
i said, well gee that would be uncomfy
as i planned to do something...
she was unaware however of my foresight in action
i made a distraction with a spray of some capsicum
what use is a lady with no knees
she cannot please, dont call me a sleaze
it's just these days im this way
sorry mate

i kneel before god to forgive me for that last rap
it was crap, i wrote my own failure and trap
for those who see it will never look back
on me ever, i thought i was clever
my lips tremble, now labled mental
the site admin call my parentals
who lock me up in a tower
eating nothing but ham
my hair grows to be the longest in the land
but cos im a man no prince takes my hand
that last rap was literally spam sorry man #