I feel like I have a black cloud hanging over my head

2 years ago, the company I worked over 13 1/2 years for, moved production to Mexico. Was able to work lots of hours and saved up ahead of time so I could get thru 2 years of school. Graduated last month. Have not found a job I wanted since graduation. The place I used to work for is now a warehouse. Had to go thru a temp service to get in until something better came along. Harder work for HALF the pay. Could not even pay my monthly bills with the pay I was now making. And could barely walk at the end of shift. Put in for a job bid within the company. More than qualified for it. Excellent interview. Boss had a pick in mind before the bid even went up. Did not get the bid. His pick did. No matter how qualified I was, I had ZERO chance for the job. I have seen them pull that nonsense before. I quit. Many many years since I did that.

That was just a couple of days ago. No job yet. This morning ran to the store. On the way home a deer ran out in front of me. Tore my vehicle up. Don't have the money to pay the deductible.

Last year, the girl who swore we were made for each other and we would always be together left. Prior to that I had a divorce. My son was alienated against me by my ex and her family. He has avoided all contact with me for 6 months or so.

I am having doubts that things will ever get any better. How much is a person supposed to take?

World is changing. Change with it.
There is no more £30 an hour parsnip picing by machines.
Pick by hand for £6 with family or move along.

Be ready for a whole bunch of people to blow sunshine up your ass, with "Keep trying! It'll get better soon" or You're a great person who deserves the best" or some such. Fact is, that's just Life. Good/Bad/Better/Worse/Heartache etc.....
Life goes on till it don't.

Just out of curiosity, what did you go to school for?

a reply to: Pandaram

Don't understand what you mean by parsnip and picing.

a reply to: Blueracer

One thing I can GUARANTEE is that it will get better. It always does.
You still have to do your part, but just trust that these problems today won't exist for long.
And don't be afraid to relocate to a place where your talents and education might go a bit farther.
Just don't give up, ever.

a reply to: DAVID64

Yep, that's life. Don't think I've ever had such a bad run of it though.

I'm sorry to hear all this. Don't give up hope though. It's not easy but life has a way of getting better, you just have to tough it out through those rough patches.

As far as the car, there might be some shop in your area that would be willing to help you out on the deductible. Here's the thing: Some of the damaged parts that can be listed as needing replacement in an estimate may actually be cheaper to straighten or otherwise fix, or even leave alone if you're ok with it and it doesnt affect the driveability of the car. If the shop can do that but get the insurance company to pay for replacements, the shop can't legally charge you for what they didn't do. It's not always possible to do, however, and it may be nearly impossible to find an honest body shop willing to do that, but we do it when we can at out shop. I'm sure there are others out there.

Like Network Dude said, take a look at other cities, do some research, find out where your skills are most needed and GO!. I know that moving from familiar surroundings is tough, but if you're going to make it, you gotta learn to roll with it.
Go where the jobs are.

a reply to: Blueracer

Ignore him...Troll...look at his history

This is my home. I am a home owner. Not so easy to just up and leave. My son is still in this area. Even if he is ignoring me, I still love him and want to be around.

Just before the accident, I thought things could be worse...and I thought of a deer..and then it happened.

I am always telling my friend to be very careful going home because I see lots of deer. She never sees them. And what I warned her about happened to me.

If I could just get a good job, things would start turning around. I almost feel like I am being punished for something. I just don't know what for though.

originally posted by: TheConstruKctionofLight
a reply to: Blueracer

Ignore him...Troll...look at his history

Thats rich Coming from someone who post confused random stuff on unrelated posts.

Do what you can . Not what you want. Survive now. Live later.

triple post.

a reply to: Blueracer

I was in a similar place 17 years ago. The worst part was not seeing my kids. My ex poisoned them against me too and when I left I unrealistically expected to still see them. I got really depressed and ended up in the psych ward with them wanting to hold me for a few days to determine whether or not I wanted to hurt myself. Never tell them the thought of suicide has crossed your mind, unless it actually has and in that case it is a good idea to be in a place like that. Well, all it did was make my pit a little blacker.

Fast forward to the present and I am about as far removed from that place as I could be. I have a good relationship with my kids who all have families of their own now. I also started over and have a wife and little ones too. Life's funny, I try not to let the situation bring me down too much. I fully expect for there to be times to come that may not be bright and sunny and with my rapidly advancing age I can really start to anticipate a time when there may not be any more light at the end of the tunnel. I struggle with that, I still have a million things I want to do in this life and hopefully I'll have time to do some of them.

Sorry to ramble on about myself, good luck to you. One thing you can count on is that down the road you'll be in a place where you can't even imagine being where you are now. Could be better, could be worse, most likely a combination of both.

a reply to: Blueracer

How much more is a person supposed to take?

Nothing. You were not supposed to just take any of this. That is not what humans do. Just taking it, would necessitate that they never get hurt, that the injuries done to them do not cause them hardship, that hardship does not affect their mentality, drive or stamina for what lay ahead. But no matter how hardy a person, no matter how strong, more crucially, no matter how strong their belief that they, unlike others, will never show a single moments hesitation, fatigue, stress, worry, doubt or just mind shattering agony, the reality is that NO one JUST takes these things.

They require recovery time, recovery time denied them by the necessities of life, the need to work, to move around, to make whatever irrelevant scrap of funds they can, in order to eat, secure shelter, to live. The most important thing about making it out from under a cloud is to accept some things. First, yes, this absolutely sucks, and you need to be honest with yourself about that. Second, you are NOT expected to march through it like a tank rolling through small arms fire. You MUST give yourself time to heal, you must NOT expect yourself to be up and at it, or feel better all of a sudden, to be unaffected by the repeated assaults on your psyche, delivered by the world and its mother. Those expectations you may have of yourself in that regard are as false as the idea that the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune will ever stop raining down upon your head. Third, as alluded to at the end of the last sentence, the things which hurt you will never stop happening, they will always come about, probably when you least expect them and when you are least able to deal with them. No matter how convenient it may or may not be to have to deal with them, deal with them you must, as long as you understand that it will hurt, be tiring, and that this too will not end when you would like it to.

This is life. It is hard, and it will only get harder. So get pissed off, get angry not sad, punch life in the crotch until it vomits, then stamp on its neck until it chokes, and wring every last drop of joy out of it you can, with a white knuckle grip that never relents.

a reply to: Blueracer


Ignore the obvious trolls as I wouldn't call my entire life sat at a PC, quipping at others any form of Living, Id rather have a bit of real life drama going on than trying to manufacture your own fake drama.

OP you need to go out there and seriously shake your self. Replace the darkness with light, get out there and don't take no for an answer. It will only get worse if that is what you are allowing your mind to decide. You have come so far already, most people now have divorce in their lives and the new woman probably left because you looked needy. Take some time to focus on YOU and then work hard at forging a relationship with your child, everything else will come in time but you will only attract the wrong type of people being in the mindset that you are currently in. Spend some time on your own remembering what makes you tick (Prior women/kids)
You sound like you have already given up but I assure you there are people out there worse off and as hard as that is for you to take on board it will help you get through to know that others have been where you are, There is some really sound advice already on your thread and many people on here speak from experience.

Never Give Up!

I'll tell you same thing I told my kids & step kids......Life is really fricking hard.....get you a damn good helmet. My life, your life, TrueBrits life.....all the same...peaks & valleys....News flash...your in a valley. You may stay in this valley for a lot longer than you want, but it will change, it always does. Life...has a way of rolling over one like an avalanche......if you let it. Best advice, don't let it.

a reply to: Blueracer

One minute.. the next hour... the rest of this day... then the same thing tomorrow... then the rest of the week... then the same next week.. then this month, next month... Wash, rinse, repeat.

You don't see it now this way... And I don't even know you... But your personal path ahead is all you! Most folks WISH they had a reset button... but here? You really DO!

Take it minute by minute and just make it through today... Bad as it may seem... This is your chance to change your future... Good luck and God bless.

Peace, love 'n Light... MS

I'm sorry OP. It does seem tough but you have to find a way to persevere.

It seems you are doing all the right things with looking to better yourself - just keep on. Sometimes you have to jump companies to get people to recognize your skill set. Don't give up.

Same applies to your kid. My father and I had a rocky relationship due to divorce but, no matter what, he didn't give up. Send a card, make a phone call, even if the kid isn't responsive. He will at least know you are available when he is ready to seek out a relationship without the influence of his other family. Kids almost always do and you have to make it as easy for them as possible with no judgment and no hurt feelings.

It will get better. It may take a while, but it will.

a reply to: Blueracer

Can you rent out a room in your home? It could make a lot of difference to you, financially.

Did you notice how much your thoughts were focussed on deer before you had the accident? That's an example of where you're going wrong. Too much negative thinking.

It's happy thoughts you should be thinking. Like in Peter Pan - for the fairy dust to work and make you fly, you have to think happy thoughts. I mention Peter Pan because it's a good, if silly, reminder of the principle.