a reply to: MamaJ
Yeah, were bisexual.
I agree, and all it takes is a little self-awareness: you can be inclined sexually to either sex depending on what you "let through".
This is why the "homosexuality is innate" theory is absurd. It is held in place by psychological-neurological dynamics, but these dynamics are subject
to a world of interpersonal relations and the knowledge and feeling which flows through them. It is "opening up" to a new source of input, and letting
go of your fear of what you don't want to feel (homosexual feelings) that permits neuroplastic changes.
It's stress and anxiety in the background of a patriarchal and egotistical culture, so no wonder that the emotionally vulnerable Human being becomes
attracted to a negative self-image and sexual orientation associated with femininity, weakness and "unmanliness". The issue is an anxiety issue, and
if you understand what anxiety can do for sexuality - particularly that which has been deemed "taboo", it can excite and make more energetic a thing
that is being consciously denied.
It's basically an emergent phenomenon with a lot of unconscious baggage based in real experiences with parents and other important others.
We think our brains are something other than intensely sophisticated recorders that seek to make experiences "more coherent" for us. But they aren't
perfect: theyre sensitive to being uncared for, and can become overly "needy" to be known by Others - such as a father (for a boy) or a mother (for a
girl). It's all an issue of unconscious identifications with archetypal "others", where a quality of the self (male) becomes linked and imprinted
towards an existent exemplar (father). The father, if masculinistic and intolerant of his own feelings, may be inclined to see in his sons tender,
feminine, forms of play (say, with dolls) his own hatred for such things, and so get angry at the son and call him a "fagg".
The word "fagg" is mean-spirited and deeply hurtful to a boy with an unconscious loyalty to a father and what he does. So now a "split" occurs. The
boy begins to relate to his own desires in a "tense" way. The tension derives from an unconscious absorption of the fathers own experience, and so, at
whatever age he currently is, this sort of experience will repeat itself again and again, both in real life and in his own imagining, until puberty
hits, enough experiences of excitement have been known, that he begins to "own" these feelings, i.e become gay.
A compassionate person will understand what sort of depression and anxiety this situation has been for them, and so will easily understand the desire
to "let go" and just accept. The acceptance is exhilarating, and a culture growing more and more tolerant allows gays to feel more accepted and more
This is all good to me. But my own personal view, based as it is, I believe, on a very deep relation to experienced reality, makes me believe that
this is a generational phenomenon resulting from the patriachalism of the last 300 years in particular.
The explosion of homosexuality in the last few decades speaks to the "fight" that seems to be existing - as is most clear in this present presidential
election, between 'male values' and 'female values'. One, you could say, derives from fear and strength, and the other, care and nurturing. And not
surprisingly, fear - trump - could win the day, and take control of the next 4 years of Human reality.
When Humans are relaxed in their brains and bodies, they are able to perceive more. Watch a cat who has kittens. Watch how its changed hormonal state
in pregnancy and birth (increased oxytocin) compels it to perceive and sense more
. It licks things it wouldn't ordinarily lick, and spends a
great deal of its time watching its kittens.
We live in a stressed and traumatized world, so its not surprising that my view is being as strongly opposed as it is. Even as I express subtly and
nuance, what if the mind reading my words isn't used (neuro-psychologically) to such conceptual complexity? What if they don't realize or appreciate
how unwanted information distorts perception - taht is, makes perception "active", so that while they read my words its their own thinking and
responding they hear, and not the attuned reconstruction of the Other persons intent.
Reading is a soft process that requires a soft and relaxed body-mind.
Yet many people don't care! Apathy is a strong, strong force!