How do you strike up a conversation online?

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Ohhhhh is that what that was?

Huh--well the .zip was named "Mars rocks"

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

That would be because of the pareidolia effect.

Those "objects" only look like Mars rocks.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

will you be my wing man bro. im flying solo

originally posted by: DocScurlock1774
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

will you be my wing man bro. im flying solo

I can tell you haven't been here long enough to know better

The man you want to ask for help is ... anyone but me

a reply to: Profusion

I don't think you're alone and you will face criticism for it. I have a theory of myself with regards to that, but I don't think it is split personality. Who is truly "normal" though?

a reply to: ksiezyc

I would like to read your theory.

It's possible that something like split personalities are commonly developing among people who use the Internet a lot. I believe I've seen it happen with people I was chatting with. They sometimes sounded different according to what method of communication they were using. They sometimes sounded different based on how comfortable they were. I've been told that I sound different based on those factors.

I'm going to have to rethink the theories I presented in the threads below.

The Internet as a Simulacrum of Life

Degrees of Separation Between an Internet Persona and a Real Person

If people have something like split personalities without realizing it (where they have a different personality just for the Internet), having serious conversations with people online may be futile. I mean, it may be two (or more) totally false personalities conversing, having nothing to do with the true personalities of the people involved.

In the two threads I linked to above, I assumed the people were consciously aware and in control of what they're doing (when creating and acting as a fake persona).

What if they're not consciously aware or in control of what they're doing (when creating and acting as a fake persona)?

That would change everything in terms of how I see the Internet. Could the Internet be a mechanism for creating split personalities?

One person I chatted with a lot using instant messaging told me that they were just "joking" almost all the time when they were chatting via instant messaging. They were consciously aware of it, but were they in control of it? If they weren't, I would have seen them COMPLETELY DIFFERENTLY. I feel like rushing back to them and apologizing. It wouldn't mean a thing now.

These are serious questions. I never would have thought of things before this thread.

a reply to: Profusion
Well since no one is likely to visit this thread anymore I suppose there is little to lose anyways. But in my own most recent relationship(which started in real life rather than the web) I had rapid changes in mood(joy to sadness to anger for example) or felt dead/bored of everything, thought of others as either with or against me and any attempt at defense was aggression against me. I think this most corresponds with BPD(Borderline Personality Disorder). There may be some more to it, but that is the general gist and perhaps a song by the Animals, "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood", best describes me with regards to that.



I'm not sure if it is the same as having a split personality, but there is the idea that everyone self-censors on the internet as we are given time to consider how to respond to a message or status in a way that they feel may result in the best results even if this means not being completely honest. This tends to end with people being nicer or seemingly more compatible with you than they actually are.

On the other hand people may act harsher with you than they would in reality simply because you are a username on their screens and not a live person. I personally don't think every case is a case of split personality, but could definitely see the internet being a cause for more cases of split personalities.

And of course there is our own interpretation of the text that represents the other person online that they may have presented in one manner, but you picked up in another.

If we're going to post some Animals to comfort a dying thread...

I dreamed I was in a Hollywood movie
And that I was the star of the movie!
It really blew my mind

a reply to: ksiezyc

Your analysis was excellent. I think you described the situation really well.

I'm going to ponder this for a while and research it. I plan to start a thread on the topic.

If you want me to send you a link to the thread, let me know me.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

It wasn't as comfort. That song describes me and was on topic..

a reply to: Profusion

Hm sure do send me a link to your thread whenever you post it. I look forward to reading it and perhaps partake in the discussion.

originally posted by: ksiezyc
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

It wasn't as comfort. That song describes me and was on topic..

So was my choice. It was an ...homage...to your post.

That's why I included some lyrics.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Fair enough. Cheers to you and your good taste.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Fair enough. Cheers to you and your good taste.

a reply to: ksiezyc

I will do that. I have no idea how long it will take.

a reply to: BASSPLYR

This thread turned out to be epic. There were all sorts of unforeseen detours that led to amazing insights. I even had some epiphanies as a result of this thread. This thread will lead to at least two spin-off threads as well.

I can't believe you criticized me for the vague stuff I've posted in any of my threads. It's so vague sometimes that I couldn't necessarily remember what I was referring to a month later. Only the people directly involved know who I'm talking about. It's indecipherable to anyone else.

Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter.

What's hard to understand about that?

originally posted by: Profusion
First of all, the original post was about two different forums with vastly different cultures. One of them is this forum.

I had a chance to send an out-of-the-blue PM to a woman I like on the other forum that I mentioned above. And, as I expected, she replied. Here's why I expected that:

On ATS: 5/6 out-of-the-blue PMs were not read or replied to (one was read and replied to)

On the other forum: 3/3 out-of-the-blue PMs were read and replied to

I think that's clearly a cultural issue between the forums. That's what I suspected. The most intersesting thing about that to me is the fact that the two forums have similar content and the same target market.

Why is that important? Your success or failure in this may have nothing to do with you personally. It may be culturally determined. This gives a new meaning to marketing yourself.

a reply to: Profusion

Continuing with this story. I went back to a forum that I've posted at off and on for a long time. It's a forum outside of the CT genre, way outside. They mostly laugh at the CT genre.

Anyway, a woman on that forum who I think has a terrific personality showed concern for me. So, I took the chance to send her an out-of-the-blue PM. I got the warmest, friendliest, most detailed (non-rambling) reply I've ever received after an initial contact. That's the first time I tried that with a woman on that forum. So, I'm one for one on that forum.

I'm starting to understand, paranoia just kills the whole dynamic of trying to strike up private conversations online. I have started successful private conversations with women on this forum. One of them is still on-going and it means a lot to me. But, breaking through a huge wall of paranoia takes almost a miracle.

Just for the record, I believe the secrets to making this work are in the thread below. I'm just making this post to contribute to the progress of mankind.

What Internet forum has the nicest people?

I happened to find a song that I believe explains how to make this whole online conversation with the opposite sex thing work. The song is "This. Here And Now. With You" by The Cure. It's interesting to me because I've listened to the song many times since it was released in 2008. I always just thought of it as being a nice idea. But, it occurred to me recently, the song lays out how to make these conversations work.

It's hard for me because what's described in the song goes against every fiber of my being. I'm exactly the opposite of what's described in this song. It works as a metaphor. It's far from perfect.


www.youtube.com...

a reply to: Profusion

What do you mean by paranoia?