Seeking answers - have you come across this before?

i would like to know more about your points before i try to give a meaning to it.

can you elaborate on that organisation mentioned in (1)? or elaborate on what makes you think they were tied to the gov but not controlled by them?

how did you meet the 'friends' you mentioned in (3)?

in the sequence of (5) and (6) - why wasn't it a dream? sounds to me like you WILD'ed. idk if it's just me but i can always feel stuff in my dreams just like real life.

who was the individual in (8) and how did you meet him?

and to the last one: can you have another scan?

I've experienced voices and other things similar- not so much anymore but during extremely stressful/traumatic periods in my life, yes I have.

It sounds to me like you're extremely intelligent and the things you are experiencing is the manifestation of deep traumatic events that your mind is straining to cope with.

I felt as though I was possessed by a demon once, too- and in fact I have had strange experiences about that as well. But I believe the "possession" is really just a compartmentalized slice of my identity that I struggled with accepting as being part of myself. It can happen if... when you're a small child, you're punished for doing something "wrong"- then you get this idea that you're evil and satanic but you know society won't accept that because satan is on the losing side, so then you have to do something about that, right? You have to hide it, bury it, pretend like it's not part of you, sever it from yourself... etc. In that manner, it can turn into a demon inside of you that literally takes possession from time to time. This can happen as a result of abuse, as well, and I believe it's tactically used in some cases to create personalities by perverts at large who want to make money in the CP business, and etc.

And there you have it.

I may be projecting, but what if you're not the antichrist or anyone special outside of being extremely intelligent who was controlled as a small child in order to milk you like a cows teat for the money and for other selfish personal pleasures of extremely perverted men and women? Then what.

If I were you, I'd consider it a possibility at the least and work on accepting whatever it was that happened (all of it, even the dirtiest things that seem unlikely like maybe you even pleaded for their love and did whatever they told you to do and etc which doesn't make you a bad person), and accepting who you are, accepting your lot in life... and etc. And be careful when/if it starts to reveal itself to you in its true form, because stress is a physical killer. It can literally result in physical illnesses (if it's not already, the stomach issues you've described alone is concerning).

I know I've said it elsewhere and now I feel like the repetitive ATS member but... idk, I guess I'll keep saying stuff until I don't feel compelled anymore. I read your OP and I felt compelled, so I had to.

Hope you'll be ok.
Take care.

a reply to: FlyInTheOintment

You write BEAUTIFULLY and since you are clearly intelligent,I would urge you to see a specialist.

But get another X-Ray/cat scan first.Just in case.

Please don't end your life.There are certainly people who would gravely mourn your passing.

Stay strong.

a reply to: FlyInTheOintment

so - are you a genetically modified alien - or were at least one of your parents lying ?

Thanks all for your interesting, valid & just plain nice comments - I appreciate that people are concerned that I don't do anything self-endangering. In regards to that aspect of my commentary in particular, there's no need to worry, I am living a relatively content life as a husband & father, and over the years my own faith has developed to the point that I no longer feel totally controlled by my natural family, or at risk of self-harm because of the darker stuff. Although they do still use the NLP & black magic on me every chance they get. I'm not delusional on that front, I've carefully checked to be sure about it, to make sure I'm not just being paranoid. I've read up fully on both the NLP, & the sorcery tricks in use by those so inclined, and the family most definitely do 'attack' me with those tools whenever opportunity knocks. It's just so wearing, to keep facing the same old # no matter how hard I try to integrate as a normal person - but if they think I'm a genetically engineered alien, I suppose they will just keep on with it, seeing as I can't change my biology..

Anyways, I will reply more fully later on, I have to nip out and sort something, but I will be back later to answer all of the direct questions that have been posed. Thank you for your thoughts & concerns thus far - there's some interesting avenues to look down, for sure.

Regards,


FITO.

Forget the Cat Scan / MRI if you think they won't cough up the images. Go get an ULTRASOUND instead. You can look at the screen live and see what they see. I saw my own kidney stone in an ultrasound, so they have other uses besides maternity related checkups!

a reply to: DOCHOLIDAZE1

I take your point, and although for a long time I thought those were my only options, thankfully I found out that I was worth something after all. As are we all - though there are certain types of people who want us to think otherwise.

a reply to: donktheclown

Thank you for your heartfelt plea - fortunately I came to faith a few years after the events I have described in the OP. I live my life before Heaven now, and try very hard to avoid all the demonic shenanigans, the NLP, the obvious sorcery - it's hard, but nobody said life was going to be easy.

a reply to: ClownFish

Thank you CF, I appreciate your thoughtful reply. When these things were said to me (the alien/ genetically engineered stuff, along with a host of similar material, including 'merman' - the male version of mermaid, indicating the existence of a second race upon the face of the earth, or rather, in the deep), I had the distinct impression that they were deadly serious, but mocking me. The motive was not good - they intended for me to feel weak, insecure, alone, confused, and a host of other stuff too. You see, it wasn't just them - there were a number of people in my life as a young person who dropped weird & derogatory comments, without any obvious reason for it (I wasn't doing anything to merit the abusive behaviour). I have since formed certain conclusions about the wider implications, but they aren't really for this thread.

a reply to: solve

Thank you - I try to avoid encounters with the people who are key to the abusive mind# behaviour, and thankfully my wife & sons have no part in it whatsoever, so I can simply focus on them.

a reply to: FlyInTheOintment

luckely those certain types of people have no real power unless u give it to them

a reply to: FlyInTheOintment

I'm so sorry. I can relate, but only a little. I was told as long as I can remember, that I was a mistake, unwanted, stupid and ugly, and I believed it for most of my life. In time, as I matured, I began to just consider the source.

Sometimes we need to be told that we are actually good. A friend said to me once, "There is absolutely nothing wrong with you." And that sentence came as a shock -- a welcome shock, but a shock nonetheless. A boss once told me that I was articulate. (With a wince, I had to say the word over and over to myself silently, while pretended to comprehend him, and look it up later... lol) And a priest once told me that I had "the gift of perspicacity." That one threw me, and after sniffing my armpits when he wasn't looking, I was glad to see what it meant, and he wasn't far off. I just never had a reason to know these words.

But people saying these things was a blessing and I have chosen to reject all the other negative stuff. I hope you have learned something similar on your own and if not, hear it now. Obviously, many of the posters here find you valuable!

a reply to: donktheclown

Hey right on Donk, Last year in December I sent out a similar prayer, and two days later i was on a plane to rehab states away. One year later, my life is pretty fudgin awesome, and I am having some trouble with my relationship with Jeshua(jesus) and trying to stay away from the organized part of religion and not get my mind wrapped up too much into it. Feel free to PM me, much love.

a reply to: Sourcery
Awesome News!

and I am having some trouble with my relationship with Jeshua(jesus) and trying to stay away from the organized part of religion and not get my mind wrapped up too much into it.

Well my friend, if you feel that you are having trouble with Jeshua, it's not His doing. It has to be on your part, but have no fear, because His Love for you is everlasting and unconditional. I mean UNCONDITIONAL. As is mine.

a reply to: Sourcery

Hey right on Donk, Last year in December I sent out a similar prayer, and two days later i was on a plane to rehab states away.

LOL! I didn't make the above connection until I reread your post.

When I called out to Jeshua, the first thing I immediately felt (and completely against my nature to do) was to "seek professional help."

I knew without a doubt what that meant, so I signed myself into the Cuckoo Bin the next day. That changed the whole game, for the good....

a reply to: donktheclown

Double LOL! I was kind of confused.....

Glad your game hath changed, too.

I have a relationship with Jesus yet do not want to get into organized religion, and have viewpoints that disagree with some things that are taught in christianity. That is my predicament.