I've been more brash than usual?

Thanks for the support. Genuinely helps.

Irritability levels are still high, but not constant. All day I was in a good mood, worn out from broken sleep and exercise though. Tonight's exercise was easier. Maybe I'm more irritable now because I'm tired. Tired, not sedated, that's good. I also read a chapter on the evolution of fish/invertebrates and can remember most of it, that is a definite positive.

The test will be the weekend. Perhaps I will avoid friends and family, most of which are trigger points.

Again, thanks for the positive replies. It honestly helps.

A peak before a trough perhaps but... I just turned down an evening on the booze/smoke AND I just ran twice as far and hardly felt it... 1.68 miles. I sound like a gym monkey. I know it won't always be as easy as tonight. I also know I'm kind of typing to myself here, that sort of works too.

With regards to withdrawal from the 'not physically addictive substance'.... I dare say I am feeling some physical side effects. I will make a thread on these later.

a reply to: and14263

You're not alone.

Good for you!! That's awesome!!

Writing/typing your thoughts and feelings can help a lot. So can listening to some good music.
Just try to keep your mind busy and not focused on the physical side effects.
One day at a time.

jacy

a reply to: jacygirl

Thanks

Music is a good idea. I've certainly been playing the guitar more, classical. Again, thanks for dropping in.

I remember how I first felt after stopping drinking.

Wonderful, alive, healthy.

It was just the initial getting over the pangs - once you've done that, peachy.

Didn't need too many coffees though for a while, mind you.

That dry high thingie's a bitch.

a reply to: and14263

Playing classical guitar!! Wonderful therapy!!

Realize that it's okay to be selfish right now, because you are looking after yourself (and that's important).
Talk nicely to yourself in your head lol, and don't get mad at yourself if you think of faltering.
Stay strong, treat yourself like someone you love.
You can do this.

jacy

It's Friday night.... Let's see how the weekend goes. I've already felt the jealousy of people around me who want me to falter. Not going to happen. After a tough day at work, a rough meeting with a financial advisor and a long week I'm pretty proud I'm still doing this. I won't count any chickens yet but....

Who just ran 6km?

Who? Me? You know it.

I couldn't have done it without this amazing community of people who I almost lost because I was negative due to over indulgence!

Sounds cheesy but it's true!

a reply to: and14263

Fair play to you fella!
I did a dry month last year just to remind myself that I could...I noticed the difference.

I've got two rules, one that I don't drink until I finish my paid work in the day including unpaid 'work' such as cleaning my house, administrative business bull#, and making my sandwiches for the next day, while the second rule is that I have my last drink no less than 12 hours before my alarm goes off.

Between that I get drunk, either with friends and family, or chuckling at threads on ATS and other digital media.

...# running in my manual working life though, I trowelled three 25kg bags of plaster muck on a ceiling today, proper hard work sweating like a dog...no way do I want a run, I want protein lol, and I've munched a load of tuna, chicken, and fried halloumi cheese tonight in a few sittings!

Good luck finding your balance mate, that's all we need, control and balance.

...motivation, organisation, and planning is always good as well...call it the grainofsand 'MOP' acronym lol, google it, it is a GoS original which doesn't turn up in search results for me.


*Edit*
I just had my last drink because my alarm is 10 tomorrow, I'm happily drunk, but I'll have a smoke to crash me out for bed then likely wake up at 8ish when it gets light enough to raise me in my mancave lol

originally posted by: and14263
Who just ran 6km?

Who? Me? You know it.

I couldn't have done it without this amazing community of people who I almost lost because I was negative due to over indulgence!

Sounds cheesy but it's true!

Well done, you are focusing well.

Exercise is great for finding balance in your life.

a reply to: Cobaltic1978

Lol, exercise is excellent for endorphins and other such drugs the human body creates under natural conditions.
A decade or so ago I was well addicted to running, 4 miles before work, 6 miles after, and the odd race or two in between as I wanted it.
I #ing loved running when I took a reasoned break from MDMA, coke n smoke, it was a natural and legal hit....yeah and14263, just keep running...

a reply to: grainofsand

I managed 8km/5miles tonight. It really does feel good.

Another weekend round the corner. This time I'm out on Friday night. My plan is to run 10km before I turn up. That way I'll be naturally high and will be able to stay strong. I don't think it will be that difficult (staying strong not running 10km!).

a reply to: Cobaltic1978

Thanks for the supportive words good man.

a reply to: and14263

Congrats on this positive step!!!
It does get easier.....

And, I think you'll find life more enjoyable....and the tasks and projects get finished.

a reply to: and14263

HAHA. Good one sir. Good luck. May your twisted and awesome sense of being survive the sobriety.

May the force be with you guy,

HOLD IT DOWN.

a reply to: DontTreadOnMe

Hey, thanks

Life is much more enjoyable, in many ways. I'd convinced myself I was happy, in ways I was, but this new way of life is much better. The positivity is breeding positivity around me also. As for finishing projects, you're right, I'm getting so much more done and enjoying it.

a reply to: tadaman

Why thank you. I have a feeling the sobriety is untwisting me. I think I'm becoming normal. I like it though. I really like it.

I had a dream last night I was drunk. I was so disappointed in myself and when I woke up I was very happy it was just a dream. Onwards and upwards. I'm not sure how I'll face the fishing holidays this year, they're usually pretty heavy. I'll do it though.

Yes! Yes! Use your hate. Channel its power. Join the dark side.

originally posted by: Skid Mark
Yes! Yes! Use your hate. Channel its power. Join the dark side.

Sorry man. The hate has gone. I tried to write a rant about leaving £10 in a cash machine yesterday but my heart wasn't in it. I'm happy

a reply to: and14263

Wow, good on you! Hang on in there, that's a lot of things to give up all in one go. It's funny how things kind of creep up on you until you actually stop to notice what's happened.

Good to hear you're still managing, I'm seriously impressed.