posted on Aug, 9 2003 @ 08:59 PM
Profoundly,abyssmally depressed about something that happened between myself and someone else.I had gone way past the anger stage,crazy mad depressed
stage is about where I was,wanted to kill somebody,was actually thinking about it seriously.
I realised how close I was to the edge of actually losing control,thought it would be better just to off myself and restrict the damage to myself.
I actually had a gun loaded and in hand,was thinking about stepping through that one way door,thinking about doing the barrel suck,crazy- angry-
insane mad at what had happened.
The instant that I was really,really considering voluntarily eating lead by my own hand,,,,someone knocked on my door.
That was an evil spirit that almost got me to do the unthinkable,I think it lives in my house,but now that I know about it,it can do me no harm.
I have had things move by themselves,lights turn on just before I enter a room,I heard a noise and looked to see my basement door unlatch and open
itself while I was watched.
Those door knockers at the critical moment were bible bangers,God sent them to keep me from making that final mistake,I cried when I found out who it
was,it was the proof that I needed that God existed.