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originally posted by: fossilera
Today, I was called something that really set me off on a rant for this person. As many of you probably know, I'm single right now, and I got an email saying someone had sent me a message on one of my profiles. Well, sadly the message wasn't quite what I expected. Below is a snippet of the message in question (this person decided to rant on their own - which kept going).
I have a huge problem with your profile - In the section where you specify who should contact you, I noticed that you said you tend to prefer those that keep themselves in shape, and those that tend to stay active. What about those of us that are bigger, and like to do more things inside? To me, you come across as a fat-phobe. I find that very rude, because a lot of us have nice personalities. And how dare you say that rap makes your ears bleed, you are coming across as insensitive to a group of people that have struggled with so much, and can only repeat it back in song...
The rest of the message was the same - All in one paragraph I might add.
My response was a bit of a rant, but it shows where my frustration is:
First of all, if you didn't like my profile, then you shouldn't have sent the message. Second, seeing as you seem to be able to add "-phobe" to the end of a word, I trust you know what it means? To end a word in "-phobe" or "-phobic" implies that I am afraid of the object it is joined with, so in context, the word implies that I am afraid of fat people, or dating them.
You are aware that I said my preference was people that are active, right? I tend to prefer them because I myself am very active, and it would be amazing to have another person in my life be that active and go on long trails through the woods or hiking over rough terrain.
Also, I do not like rap music, not because I'm insensitive to a culture, but because it does not call out to my ears: I think it's harsh and abrasive, which is not something I want to listen to.
Finally, I question your idea of saying that I'm "phobic" of anything. For example, I read that you do not really want to meet in a bar. Does this mean that you are "bar-phobic"? I also see you hate classical music, so you must be a "classical-phobe". Tell me, how does that read on your end? To me, it sounds like someone trying to be "smart" by making up a word. The word you need to learn is preference. I prefer that this be my last email to you.
Harsh? Yep, but this is a trend I'm seeing more and more. There is a HUGE difference between someone being legitimately afraid of something (IE: Homophobic) vs not being attracted to the something (IE: I like straight guys/girls only). Just because someone prefers something doesn't mean that they are afraid of it - I prefer whiskey to beer, but that doesn't mean I fear beer, it just means I like whiskey more and will be more likely to enjoy it more.
Don't know about the rest of you, but I think it makes a person look dumb to append the "-phobe" or "-phobic" onto the end of an object; My respect for the person went out the window with that word alone.
Same argument applies to calling someone "insensitive" or "unawakened" if they don't like a particular genre. Like above, I truly am not a fan of rap; I am quite aware of its origins and roots and what it represents (probably more so than they were), but that doesn't mean I have to like listening to it.
PS: Just venting; it's not a rant directed at anyone here.
What about those of us that are bigger, and like to do more things inside?