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originally posted by: Bicent76
meh calling another person stupid, in a conversation is not a debate...
I tend to stay away from debates on forums nowadays, because it is unhealthy, not to mention most people on the internet forums lack manners and most times get personal. Yet some threads on ATS I do my best to interject some wisdom, experience, or intelligence, but most times I fail and the thread continues to derail and the thread is full of insults and arguments. It seems some of the most popular threads on ATS follow suit in this direction.
So my opinion is this male or female calling someone stupid is immature and I am not surprised by it at all.
Your right it is not right.
originally posted by: Nyiah
Oh for Christ's sake. People are looking just a little too deeply at this male V female debating garbage. It's a written or verbal exchange, be it general conversation or tangible ideas. Thinking you have to be chivalrous in a communication exchange where door-holding or some such is not socially expected is shorting yourself. You might as well be self-neutering. Don't self-neuter, I don't want a partial opponent in discussions, I want & EXPECT equal footing there. Bring everything to the table, lay it all out, take the retort, fire back. It's that simple.
Good lord, stop trying to make everything & how you go about it about gender.
originally posted by: SaturnFX
a reply to: ReadLeader
as a southerner, I also do the courtesy of the norm gender standards (things are getting a bit confusing with the new "gender fluid" stuff going on, so when in doubt, I drop the ma'am/sir bit, but remain respectful nonetheless
I value gender differences and society roles for the harmless stuff (such as opening doors)
I reject however treating people differently and softer mentally as a person. thats not some traditional gender role, thats a dated gender perception.
originally posted by: ATF1886
so then because you are a woman I could speak to you like if I were speaking to another male??? you might not like the end result...
originally posted by: SaturnFX
Hi folks. read before judging the content:
I came across a thread where people were discussing something and a male and female were debating something. well, the male was calling the opinion that the woman posted (not her opinion) stupid. she responded by saying it wasn't her thoughts, but if he wants to debate something, basically bring it.
The guys response was to say he wasn't intending it to be her..just used her by proxy..fine..but then he said it
he said he is never aggressive towards women, and it would be his first time ever to basically be unpleasant to a female online (aka, calling her stupid).
Right...this is not a new thing..its very common actually. men believing they are being chivalrous in being forever nice and pleasant in debates when they realize they are talking to a female
Problem is, they may not understand just how absolutely insulting this is.
Women are equally as capable at debating, taking and giving insults, and understanding complex ideas as men. they are genuinely equal here and should therefore be treated equally. To actively speak differently to a woman in a discussion than you would a man, to be softer to her, is to suggest that she is emotionally or intellectually inferior and you must protect her from your stronger words. basically, you are suggesting you need to treat women like children.
never make this mistake, and never assume by being pleasant to women in general moreso than men, you are somehow doing them a favor...rather, its a slap.
So, if you would normally call a man a idiot for saying something idiotic..feel absolutely free to call a woman the same thing. she isn't an idiot because she is a woman, she is a idiot because she...is an idiot.
I would say it might just be better to aim for cleaning up your views towards men and using a tone of respect as the norm for everyone, avoiding insults of a person when discussing an idea.
ideas are often stupid..people...well, people can be complicated
I am ranting here, but also learning. for too long I have, through seemingly desired pleasantness, treated women differently than men as the norm. I have lately been seeing this not as some merit, but a disgraceful behavior.
naa, women..you are idiots just like men. trust me, it takes one to know one.
should this also be pushed onto things like opening doors for women? (I dont think it should. opening doors is an accepted gender norm not really saying anything about anyone as a person...outside of maybe men will use their greater strength to help women in physical matters (if you want to get really philosophical))
originally posted by: InTheShadows
I have 4 different usernames here