Life Is Short. Have An Affair.

originally posted by: TechniXcality
a reply to: Bluesma

In my opinion especially with children involved, it is nice to have a monogamous stable relationship between the parents, it's develops family cohesion, trust, and loyalty. (It's also nice to know that you are the father of the children) this is a matter of personal preference, and there is nothing objectively 'WRONG' about open relationships. However cheating in a monogamous marriage destroys relationships and trust, I have cheated I have been cheated on. I personally will not cheat again, because I value that commitment and have seen the detrimental effects first hand on the family. I truly do not believe this is a Christian monogamous angst as being implied, even in a society of free love and open relationships I would still want to center a family around those values.

You have a better understanding and balance than I normally see among us men, especially.

a reply to: TechniXcality

I get that. I also suspect that extramarital relationships are probably not a good idea in the first years of a couple - because real intimacy, trust and respect takes time to build, and before then, the relationship is fragile.

But just to illustrate this other way of thought I've discovered in Europe-
They do not think that children should be exposed to the sex lives of their parents, nor any of the adult concerns (like financial struggles, etc.) So whether the sex happens within the couple, or outside of it, the kids should not be aware or effected.

They only get affected when the parents fight or break up over it.

I see it like this - the best analogy I can come up with that carries the same attitude - is the issue of masterbation.
One can pretty much assume their spouse must masterbate at times, and yet, not really want to find out the details of that. It has no bearing on the couple, it has nothing to do with our relationship, it is not my business. It is a common human need and behavior, that is private.

It would be quite warped to come up with some sort of name for an alternative life style in which couples talk to each other about each time they masterbate; and kids really don't have to know or be effected by their parents occasional masterbating. It is a private matter, and shouldn't effect the family life at all.

I also suspect my husband takes a dump sometimes, but am not shocked or hurt, nor do I feel he needs to be honest about it with me when he does. It's just private human business.

Okay I will any takers?.

He did wrong, but God, didn't deserve to die, that's just silly!

I wonder why more people don't just have open relationships, if they are so willing to cheat and want to be with other people, makes sense to me!

originally posted by: TOYBEAR
a reply to: TechniXcality

Not at all. You're just being righteous for the gallery.
I would venture to say you're the one with the problems if
you don't understand the scope.
Be a knight in shinning armor all you want Romeo.
Get over yourself.

-Toy the Bear

Wow, that's harsh. The man is being honest about his feelings, and they are not uncommon or strange! There ARE men who feel more secure in a monogamous relationship and with valid reasons!
He's been open minded about those feel differently and I don't think he deserves to be treated in the way you have done here!
I'm just another peanut in the gallery, but your post is quite offensive and provocative, as I am sure you meant it to be.

a reply to: TechniXcality

Some people lack empathy for others.
Sociopaths.
I see many but dude don't let them get you down .
You and I know who is the decent person in your conversation..it's you.

a reply to: TOYBEAR

Give me sensitive and soft every time over unfeeling sociopathic people anytime.
I agree with joseph gordon-levitt to welcome any suicide over something so trivial just shows you for what you are.