I cannot get "angry" anymore. I think I might be broken?

I am writing this on the back of a thread I made yesterday about someone breaking into my workshop and stealing some tools.

I just re read my OP and it makes no sense when looked at from a standard viewpoint? I should be really angry about this but instead find myself concerned for the welfare of someone that would have to steal from someone.

This is not a singular instance either, I may get the odd grump on and have a little rant about the little things but I never really get angry or feel that vengance must be sought. I am sat here now and I know who took my tools and cannot bring myself to inform the police as I know they will definatley go to jail because of this.

I had a similar situation a while ago when a good friend was having a really rough time and flipped out when he was drunk. For no reason other than he was so angry at the world he smashed me into a parked car and then bounced my head on a kerbstone.

I know what he did was wrong but I also know that it was out of charecter and a result of too much stress so instead of calling the police I chose not to, when the paramedics arrived they wanted to take me to the hospital but that would have meant the police could choose to charge the guy so I refused to go and instead had 16 staples in my head without anesthetic.

No one could understand why I did this and has even caused a few arguments but had the police been involved the guy would have more than likley gone to prison, lost his job, his family, everything all because he lost control one time and did something out of charecter in a fit of rage.

I could go on but you should get the general idea here, It's as if I decided to be a good person and somehow took it too far.

a reply to: nonspecific

I personally like the way you handled the situations you mentioned...you have a wonderful inner strength.

I don't know if you took being a good person too far or not, but it sounds like something Jesus would have done, so you're only broken if you think Jesus was broken.

a reply to: nonspecific

I can understand not wanting you friend to go to jail, but I hope you considered whether that really was a one of thing. If that was a character issue for they person - of he has outbursts like that - and ends up hurting someone worse or killing someone, then you will have made a major mistake.

As to your tools, as much as I believe in being forgiving and turning the other cheek, I'd say you are wrong. Maybe the person who took your tools was in need, but now you are in need. They didn't consider you. That person is selfish, thoughtless, abusive and will continue to be so. You ultimately do no one a favor by overlooking their crime.

If you know who took them and can prove it I say call the cops!

a reply to: nonspecific

Hmm, I'd probably be the same with the mate situation as I involve the police in my life as little as I can. The only difference is I'd have gone to the hospital and blatantly lied to the police that I fell and they will have no chance of a conviction against my mate.

The tool thief in your other thread though, nah, you're a better man than me.
I would take a course of action to discourage the thief from ever stealing from me again, and I wouldn't call the police either. A smack-head stole off my mates Nan a couple of years ago, no police were called, and the guy had a much harsher lesson than a £100 court fine paid off at a fiver a week.

a reply to: nonspecific

originally posted by: caladonea
a reply to: nonspecific

I personally like the way you handled the situations you mentioned...you have a wonderful inner strength.

It unsettles me though, I know what others think and even the most left wing hippy love people I know become frustrated with my actions at times.

It also means that I have litterally nothing to show for my efforts.

originally posted by: kaylaluv
I don't know if you took being a good person too far or not, but it sounds like something Jesus would have done, so you're only broken if you think Jesus was broken.

I am not religious in anyway but do like the idea.

But in all fairness if you belive the stories then Jesus did the right thing and they nailed him to a cross and watched him die.

originally posted by: incoserv
a reply to: nonspecific

I can understand not wanting you friend to go to jail, but I hope you considered whether that really was a one of thing. If that was a character issue for they person - of he has outbursts like that - and ends up hurting someone worse or killing someone, then you will have made a major mistake.

As to your tools, as much as I believe in being forgiving and turning the other cheek, I'd say you are wrong. Maybe the person who took your tools was in need, but now you are in need. They didn't consider you. That person is selfish, thoughtless, abusive and will continue to be so. You ultimately do no one a favor by overlooking their crime.

If you know who took them and can prove it I say call the cops!

As to the friend in question yes it was a one off occurance. A series of exterior events pushed his ability to control his actions beyond breaking point. He pretty much had a complete breakdown afterwards, picked up the pieces and was able to change the things that were causing the problems.

I have a four inch scar on the top of my skull but he has the realisation of what he did, I have forgiven him but he cannot forgive himself and now uses the inncident as a reminder of what happens when you allow life to get out of your own control.

The slightly worrying aspect of this story is that his life got out of control because he was too nice and people were taking advantage of him.

originally posted by: grainofsand
a reply to: nonspecific

Hmm, I'd probably be the same with the mate situation as I involve the police in my life as little as I can. The only difference is I'd have gone to the hospital and blatantly lied to the police that I fell and they will have no chance of a conviction against my mate.

The tool thief in your other thread though, nah, you're a better man than me.
I would take a course of action to discourage the thief from ever stealing from me again, and I wouldn't call the police either. A smack-head stole off my mates Nan a couple of years ago, no police were called, and the guy had a much harsher lesson than a £100 court fine paid off at a fiver a week.

The reason I did not go to the hospital was that the paramedics said that if I went they would have to write a report and there were multiple witnesses. THe brutality of the attack would have meant the police could have pressed charges without my consent.

As to the other issue this is what bothers me, I remember a time when I would have already got the chopsaw and other bits back by now, a swift phonecall and a transit van with a few blokes in the back and it would be done and dusted.

I had quite an "interesting" life up until about 10 years ago, things like that were the norm as it were but now it's like theres a bit missing that could come in handy sometimes.

a reply to: nonspecific

I am sat here now and I know who took my tools and cannot bring myself to inform the police as I know they will definatley go to jail because of this.

Is this a very needy person? As in, they or their family are going to go hungry if they didn't steal the tools? Because honestly, if that's not the case, they need a lesson. Allowing someone to steal is not really helping them [ unless it's an extreme case like I mentioned ] it's just encouraging them to keep doing it, thinking they will always get away with it. What happens when they figure they can just steal from you any time they like, knowing you won't report it? Can you afford to keep replacing what they take?

a reply to: nonspecific

Your current mindset is clearly the moral position though, and perhaps it is a 'growing up' thing?
I'm still in the phonecall, few mates, and a transit van world though, it is effective and efficient.

Right now here in the Summer, Devon & Cornwall constabulary have roughly one cop available at any given time for every 5000 citizens. We tend to call them as a last resort, and they tend to turn a blind eye to citizens resolving 'problems' ourselves.

a reply to: nonspecific

They'll happily screw ya, but they'll never respect ya in the morning.

originally posted by: DAVID64
a reply to: nonspecific

I am sat here now and I know who took my tools and cannot bring myself to inform the police as I know they will definatley go to jail because of this.

Is this a very needy person? As in, they or their family are going to go hungry if they didn't steal the tools? Because honestly, if that's not the case, they need a lesson. Allowing someone to steal is not really helping them [ unless it's an extreme case like I mentioned ] it's just encouraging them to keep doing it, thinking they will always get away with it. What happens when they figure they can just steal from you any time they like, knowing you won't report it? Can you afford to keep replacing what they take?

The preson in question is young and has a pretty awul life in truth. Two terrible useless parents, I have known them since they were about 8 years old. Bounced from pillar to post, in and out of care because parents are too lazy, drug issues ect.

So yes they steal to survive and I do mean survive we are talking about someone who at 15 was living on the streets.

It is hard when you see someone who used to ask you if they could have a drink please put in this situation, someone who is actually a good and caring person having to do this kind of thing simply to survive because the people that should be there to guide them are too self centred to care. And no I cannot afford for them to keep stealing from me but also do not want to live with the thought that because of me they went to prison and will never be able to get ahead in life because of it.

a reply to: nonspecific

If you spent some one on one time with me I'm sure I'd piss you off in one way or another. It happens. With me though you'd have a good laugh while being pissed, and be angry that I made you laugh, too. That happens as well.

a reply to: nonspecific

The person about whom you are speaking will not learn anything worth knowing by your silence. It is only coming face to face with consequence, which educates a person on the importance of making ones own way, and owning ones history, rather than being owned by it.

originally posted by: Skid Mark
a reply to: nonspecific

If you spent some one on one time with me I'm sure I'd piss you off in one way or another. It happens. With me though you'd have a good laugh while being pissed, and be angry that I made you laugh, too. That happens as well.

I doubt that very much Mr Skids, One of my closest friends is a racist homophobic sexist biggot of the highest degree.

I don't let that get in the way of our friendship so whatever you bring to the table will be accepted with open arms as long as theres a few beers and some half decent music on.

originally posted by: TrueBrit
a reply to: nonspecific

The person about whom you are speaking will not learn anything worth knowing by your silence. It is only coming face to face with consequence, which educates a person on the importance of making ones own way, and owning ones history, rather than being owned by it.

This is what is causing such a conflict truebrit. Until they learn that actions have consequences they will never really be able to change.

Even though I know this it does not make it easy for me as if reported they will definatley go to prison for at least 2 years. I am not sure that I wish the outcome of this to be of my making.

Why don't you just confront him and tell him you know? Ask to have them returned and all we be forgiven or he will have to face the consequences of dealing with the police. Whats the worst that could happen?

Or...

You could hire some muscle to shake things up.

originally posted by: eisegesis
Why don't you just confront him and tell him you know? Ask to have them returned and all we be forgiven or he will have to face the consequences of dealing with the police. Whats the worst that could happen?

Or...

You could hire some muscle to shake things up.

The first option has already been quietly put in place with a chance for redemption.

As to the second option a unprovoked and near fatal attack(not the one in the op) 10 years ago has left me unable to commit or initiate violence in any form.