a reply to: Bone75
I am going to make sure I make this crystal clear since people on...well everywhere love to remove context.
I am not in ANY WAY saying I don't feel for your situation. And for that matter I will not dispute your feelings on your situation.
With that said, and posting this part as gently as I can...
YOUR situation and YOUR feelings are not to be generalized to all. Now you say
Deal with something like that, then get back to me with your rationality.
And I can not personally discuss your situation. I will however say that many people have come to terms with the loss of a loved one and confronted
the convicted murderer and have been just fine. The problem is that for some reason, when it is mental illness, people seem to suddenly become somehow
"more frightened" because they automatically think that if one person who suffers schizophrenia/schizoaffective has ended someone else's life, then
they must ALL be killers just waiting for the trip wire to go off. I've read all over ATS for the last 7 years or so and see it all the time. People
sit and say that you cannot generalize so and so yet feel free to come right back and generalize mental illness.
The worst part though, comes when people think they can somehow put themselves into the mind of a highly irrational person or think that they know
what ALL suicidal or psychotic or manic feeling are like because they too endure them. No suffering is EVER going to be the same...ever.
So here is my story and how I "rationalized" it.
2000 - My cousin and her friend driving in a rather "nice" area of town stop for gas and within 30 seconds, the scene turns into a nightmare with my
cousin getting slashed up and the friend being killed by a person with untreated schizophrenia. While I sympathize with you and hope that you cope
well and wish you the best, I have to point out that you don't own the exclusive rights on grieving a sudden and frightening loss to someone who is
Of course I am deeply upset. Granted the friend was not family, but she was close enough. And my cousin is scarred for life in every imaginable way. I
do agree that someone so dangerous needs to be placed somewhere to ensure safety of others and him/herself. But I also believe treating things like
this are much more relevant and efficient than tossing away a key after we put that person in a cage.
The rest of this is to anyone reading
I have done 4 years of psychotherapy/behavioral therapy. Two of the four years I spent doing emergency admissions for two local hospitals and one
Chicago hospital. What I have seen there on a daily basis are 5-10 people coming through who meet "criteria" for mental illness. A solid half of
those people typically fall on manic/depressed cycles and suicide is our biggest concern in the immediate.
The other massive concern are people who come in with psychotic features or psychotic disorders. Schizophrenia/schizoaffective/brief psychotic
disorder and so on can be extremely dangerous. That's why fast acting IM drugs such as Haldol, Geodon and Ketamine exist. It slows the psychotic
The point of all this is that you CANNOT look these people in the eye and see the completely flat affect joined with severe hallucination and delusion
and tell me that they are in control or rational just because they happen to do something that takes barely any cognitive skill. I had a gentleman
come in and he was under psychosis. Not a drop of any drug in him. I was in my ER office. He knocked on the door, grabbed me and said "out of the
room...I am leaving" just before trying and almost succeeding at taking my head off with his fist. He found his clothes and phone and would have
eloped but ten people and a syringe of Ketamine were waiting for him outside my door.
People have to stop thinking they understand mental illness and people need to stop pretending that people in deep seated psychosis or unbearable
depression have the capability of being rational.
And even IF you happen to suffer mental illness (which I do), you STILL cannot understand anyone else outside of your own mind.
Bipolar I and GAD...that's part of me. My medication works well but I remember mania and depression and suicide attempts well. But I would be a fool
to think I knew what ALL manic or depressed people feel like in the moment.