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Possible Emotional abuse, yes it happens to men....

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posted on Dec, 9 2014 @ 02:15 PM
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The following is my opinion as a member participating in this discussion.

You've got two choices.

1- Take it, and recognize the likelihood is extremely high this is the way it's going to be for the rest of your life
2- Cut your losses and move on

Neither is an attractive proposition. One is a life sentence. You want the nuclear option followed by fresh start, or death by 1,000 cuts?

Your call.


As an ATS Staff Member, I will not moderate in threads such as this where I have participated as a member.




posted on Dec, 9 2014 @ 02:24 PM
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Some of the things I've inadvertently eavesdropped from women are almost as shockingly horrible as the things I hear men say about women. The way they dated and used men to pay their bills, being active with knowledge of personal infections, etc. Moral? Humans are terrible.



posted on Dec, 9 2014 @ 02:33 PM
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Before I offer any advice, I'd like to know how your stepdaughter feels about the custody battle. In most states, 12 years old is when a kid is old enough to decide for themselves which parent they want to live with.

I'd also like to know whether or not your wife can still have children.



posted on Dec, 9 2014 @ 02:34 PM
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a reply to: shaneslaughta

Well thank you for your advice and thank you all actually it has all helped tremendously.........

All things I need to take into consideration......

Its really helped talking about this as I have had no one to talk to and have internalized all this for quite a while now......


I want to thank all of you for your support, I will be checking back on here and replying to everyone, however my grandmother has just had a stroke , when it rains it poors, so Im going to shift my focus to her and the rest of the family today.......

Thank you again so much and thank you all for the prayers and those who arent prayers thank you for the positivie thoughts.....

Trust me all of the advice and talking has helped.......

And for those it helped just bringing it up, that makes me feel better about things already tha tsomething good can come out of something like this.......

Faith and love yall!



posted on Dec, 9 2014 @ 02:36 PM
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originally posted by: haven123
menopause?
www.avogel.co.uk...

or shes getting rooted from someone else


yeah neither one, but thanks for that....she might do and say a lot of things, but I do knwo she would never be unfaithful......

the way you delicately brought that up was a class act.....



posted on Dec, 9 2014 @ 02:37 PM
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originally posted by: Bone75
Before I offer any advice, I'd like to know how your stepdaughter feels about the custody battle. In most states, 12 years old is when a kid is old enough to decide for themselves which parent they want to live with.

I'd also like to know whether or not your wife can still have children.


she can , shes stated she wants another one with me.......

The daughter is 15 , and were awesome together, she hates the custody battle and really has made her resent her biodad even more then she already did......

She wants to be here in Texas more then anything



posted on Dec, 9 2014 @ 02:57 PM
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a reply to: ManBehindTheMask

In that case... run. Run like you've never ran before and do not look back. If you don't, this woman will have you contemplating suicide as soon as you get her pregnant.



posted on Dec, 9 2014 @ 03:06 PM
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I feel for you op I have been married three times and each did things the same as yours, all escalated into violence against me and each one made me think ot was my fault by crying after they battered me.
I loved each one and in a weird way still do but uou have to recognise when enough is enough.
Good luck fella.
Btw your misses isn't a redhead is she?.



posted on Dec, 9 2014 @ 04:08 PM
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originally posted by: ManBehindTheMask

originally posted by: haven123
menopause?
www.avogel.co.uk...

or shes getting rooted from someone else


yeah neither one, but thanks for that....she might do and say a lot of things, but I do knwo she would never be unfaithful......

the way you delicately brought that up was a class act.....

saying it like i saw it, ill remove it though buddy and if iv past time ill hget a mod to rid it but this stuff happens pal, sorry never meant offence, i call a spade a spade.



posted on Dec, 9 2014 @ 04:44 PM
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That sounds horrible. Luckily for her you are such a nice guy. Most men wouldnt take half that crap. Almost sounds like she's possessed. (If you believe in that sort of thing.) Unfortunately some people turn out horrible. Even when they were nice at first. Some people are liars though. Through and through. My family has lots of them.
Or it could just be chemical imbalances. Get her to smoke a doobie. Honestly. My brother had serious issues, but marijuana helped him. Turned him into a much nicer person to be around. It might help. Lol



posted on Dec, 9 2014 @ 05:21 PM
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a reply to: ManBehindTheMask

My advice:

Print off everything you just wrote in the OP and hand it to her and then have a talk. Before doing that though, start building a defense for yourself in case you two split. Sounds nasty, but hiring an attorney prior to a divorce is cheaper than hiring one after it's started. It will also help you start building a shield around your own finances/position if and when things go badly.

As it is right now, she is being a complete asshole and you need to have a talk with her. You need to make her aware of her bad behavior. If she still chooses to either A. Blame you and continue with the hateful comments or B. Stops talking to you altogether then you know there's a good chance it will end.

If she can address her bad behavior and start working on it, that'd be great. But you have to point it out to her first. I'd just hand her the print out and tell her to seriously consider everything in there because the your future together depends on it.

If not, there's always Match.com



posted on Dec, 9 2014 @ 05:49 PM
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off-topic post removed to prevent thread-drift


 



posted on Dec, 9 2014 @ 07:04 PM
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I am very sorry you are dealing with this. I have dealt with it as a woman, coming from a man. I did everything. And financed everything. And birthed a child... went back to work a week later. And was never good enough. Not a "real woman". I was lazy. It's too bad that women like this ruin the few good men left out there.



posted on Dec, 9 2014 @ 08:12 PM
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Sorry to hear what your going through .. it could be borderline personality or even sociopathy from what you describe .. and yes there are female sociopaths out there .. you have a couple options ..
1. sit her down talk to her along with attend counselling for both you ( as victim .. her as abuser ) to try to fix things .
2. walk away break all contact and end your marriage ... ( if the woman is an actual sociopath this is your best option )

Good luck to you ...

Been there .. two of my ex-wives turned out to be diagnosed sociopaths .. found out too late what their true nature was.



posted on Dec, 9 2014 @ 08:16 PM
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Some great advice on this thread.

Sometimes people find themselves in a downward spiral and dont know how to get themselves out of it. It needs a reality check to bring them back from that downward spiral and to really find out what they want for themselves. On the other hand, sometimes a relationship just comes to an end, both parties have grown apart and no longer have what initially attracted them. When time has overrun and we should have made a change, but have been resisting it, things get really bad to force the situation to come to a head and be dealt with. It may be that this situation is because one or both of you are resisting change because of fear of the unknown.

It is important that we each maintain our respect for each other and more importantly for ourselves. To stand back and see what has to be done in a dispassionate way can lead to a resolution of sorts. It is almost like too much attention to detail that the overall picture has been lost and something needs to change to get back on track - whatever that track is to be, together or apart.

Always remember that there is always someone else waiting in the wings to take up their position with us. They dont know it and we dont know it, but they are there and the Universe has a way of bringing those people who should be together, together. Timing is important in our life and if we are sensitive, we will realise when one phase of our life has ended and another is set to begin. It may be that you are both being moved steadily towards another phase and there will be someone special waiting to be with both of you.

I went through a phase in my life when everything seemed to fall apart, yet within 18 months I had found my new direction and I had met the people who were the actors in that next phase of my life. Good luck.
edit on 9 Dec 2014 by qmantoo because: typo



posted on Dec, 9 2014 @ 08:42 PM
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Run, far and fast.


edit on 9-12-2014 by KeliOnyx because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 9 2014 @ 11:03 PM
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you got no kids with her, devorce and let the real daddy take up what he started.

You got your life set bud, Enjoy it and find someone who isn't such a drain. Just my oppinion.



posted on Dec, 9 2014 @ 11:44 PM
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a reply to: ManBehindTheMask

cdn.media.freedomainradio.com...

Take a look at some of the stuff in this book, emotional abuse is not a gender specific issue.

Protect your heart my friend.
edit on 9-12-2014 by Ebumping because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 10 2014 @ 12:32 AM
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a reply to: Ebumping

It sure is.
I had to make up excuses with wife number two.
She gave me two black eyes and I told everyone in the pub I tan I got mugged.
Heck iam only talking anout it here cos no one knows me.



posted on Dec, 10 2014 @ 01:10 AM
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Of course it happens.

From what you say, I would second the notion that she is confused about her feelings for you.
A person can become deeply attached to a situation, to a sense of security, to affection, even to sex, to being loved, without actually being in love with the individual involved. In those cases, he or she will most often go into denial on that little fact, trying to believe they love the other person, just to keep the part of the relationship that they actually love.
The result is usually behavior of the kind you describe.

I have had this happen to me, I have watched others have it happen to them. It can especially be the case if a child is involved, not wanting to hurt the child with a break up, they go deeper into denial about their true feelings.

It is possible she doesn't really love you (I am sorry to be suggesting something so painful). It may take time for her to come around to this realization. One thing that pops into my mind is to try soothing her concerns about your relationship with her daughter- let her know that if you two ever broke up, you would stay in touch and continue to care about her daughter. It could be a baby step towards her being more honest with herself.

Even the instance you described, when you came back from vacation and she was so horrible with her daughter, could have had an underlying intent, like pulling her daughters attention off of you, and unto herself.

I cannot imagine treating the man I love in such a way, though I think I might have treated a man that way in the past, when I was trying to convince myself I loved him because I didn't want to let go of the situation itself.



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