Hey guys, ive been married to my wife now for about 6 months, weve been together for over 2 years now......
There have always been little signs here and there, things said in passing , remarks made.......
But in the last 4 months things have gotten really bad.
Its to the point im wondering if im crazy, my wife , whom I love with all my heart, seems to be suffering from a personality disorder that I always
suspected but never confirmed.
She has the midnight panick attacks that wake her up, which in turn she has to wake me up with , sometimes just to yell at me.....
She has the axiety that often gets so far out of control she lashes out at anyone close to her.
But here lately its been coming to a head.......
It seems like no matter what I do its not good enough, she seems to "tally" things up. If she pays for something (even tho we are married) then I owe
her (even tho im the primary bread winner). We split the bill for our wedding, yet im constantly reminded that she paid for 1k more then I did,
because at the time my job wasn't as good as it is now.
I got my fathers truck when he passed away last year, but I wasnt aware he was so far behind on the payment. Long story short they said they were
coming to get it and I didnt have a loan in time, She had the 3k because she sold her horse and trailor last year because it cost too much in upkeep
(which later she brings up was all for me , not because of upkeep) So she paid for it, to save my fathers truck, immediately after, she tells me I
owe her, and that I better spoil her.
This coming from a woman that whenever I have an extra bit of money, Im always buying her something or or buying plane tickets to see each other.
She has stated many times that I havent had to give up anything, despite the fact that to pay for the wedding she wanted, I almost lost the house. I
lost my job, my poor mother broke her hip, and im having to finance everything including her surgery and help w her bills because she lost her job
too.......not to mention last year we lost my father and my mothers father.....
its been a rough year........
She has been living at home until we got married (she still does because of a custody issue in her state), paying half the rent with her
mother........I gave her a 2008 Chrysler Sebring in perfect condition so she would have a car , I pay the insurance of course and the monthly
I dont care about the money tho, thats the thing, ive never once brought it up , because as I see it, what i do is out of love......I dont care about
any of it, I do what I do because I love her and her daughter.......and because we are a team, i dont understand the "tit for tat" the competition
We are living apart at the moment because were in a custody battle with her daughters father and there is issues moving here. I was out of work for a
month because i was laid off, 2 weeks out of that was solid job interviews and the last week and a half I was up north at her request to help with
family stuff up there.........She tells me yesterday, that A real man would have at least gotten a job at McDonalds.......keep in mind, I did get a
job, and it pays 6 figures a year........but somehow im not a real man? Not to mention I had steady interviews almost the entire month I was out of
Being that we live apart its hard so we video chat and skype as much as possible, with the training for the new job we haven't had as much time...
So I tried to surprise her the other day and video chat her, It was my day off and I had just gotten home from the gym and her response was
immediately "Hey how are you, ugh god you know i hate your cut off shirts, and whats with your hair, have you done ANYTHING today?" she went on to
tell me how horrible i looked for another 5 min before i just hung up on her.......
She was upset for weeks because we weren't getting as much face time, and the first time i call her to get some of that face time she spends the whole
time insulting me.
She goes off the deep end and pushes me and pushes me until im angry and stop talking to her, then she pulls the pouting faces, and "oh poor me" "im
so sorry you feel this way, it really hurts" lines, totally disregarding what shes said to me........
And will there ever be an apology? nope..........and if it is its 'Im sorry YOU took it that way" or "Im sorry YOURE upset" no apologies for her
When she wanted to change my truck over into our name instead of just my name, I had told her that I didnt want to do that, because it was the only
thing my father could afford to leave to me......my father died while I was away, and couldnt be there for him, i couldnt get to him in time and it
was deeply deeply painful, he was my best friend........it is the only thing i really have left of him.......
My telling her that I want to keep it in my name, spawned a 3 hour tantrum about how ungrateful I am ( this is before we knew it was going to get
repoed), and how I dont need to use my dead parent as a pitty card...........now keep in mind, that was ALL I said to her about it, there wasnt a long
Just yesterday, I found out that I was getting almost 2 weeks off for the holiday with this new company and I was getting paid.....Her and her
daughter are coming up so that means I get to spend he entire time with them w out any work interference........her response ?
"I really wish you were working, I have to work a few days from home while im up there, its not fair that you dont have to work, Why would you tell
me that about your company knowing I have to work and you dont, its great they treat you well but it makes me feel like sht"
I was dumbfounded, what kind of person would actually WISH something on their significant other, instead of being happy they get to spend the time
with them un interrupted? and get their pay? Im just at a loss
There is a lot more but, I just need some help, im really hurting here and Im feeling quite a lone ........I could use some advice...
edit on 12/9/2014 by ManBehindTheMask because: (no reason given)
edit on 12/9/2014 by ManBehindTheMask because: (no reason