Could you fall in love with a psychopathic woman? Just how do they see love?

Yet what if you do get a combination of a highly emotional man and an unemotional woman? Might that balance out?

For the record, let's look at psychopath gender statistics:

There is much to the psychopathic personality which is baffling and disturbing. 1 in about 25-30 people are psychopathic (also known as sociopaths or anti-social -- the correct title being psychopath.) Since the majority or them are men, I (Wendy Koenigsmann) wrote this site in part, to warn women about the dangers, especially women online, which I believe is a favourite "new medium" which appeals to psychopaths. I have personal experience with this subject as well. This is because "antisocials (psychopaths) are not just characters in our fictional or true-life entertainments. They are family members, friends, co-workers, neighbors, or strangers we may encounter every day." [Black, 10].

cassiopaea.com...

If this thread is another rant thread against past failed relationships with women that were most likely never officially diagnosed as psychopaths, then this thread is in the wrong area of this forum.

a reply to: edward777

It does not work that way for most people edward777.

You see, in a healthy relationship between two people with relatively typical minds, emotion is shared between the two. It is not that one is cold, and the other warm of heart, and that somewhere in the middle love happens and makes everything equal and charming. That is not how this happens.

What happens when two polar opposites, emotionally, come together, is that both parties learn the traits of the other. A person who is unused to expressing their emotion, will find themselves in the unfamiliar position of wanting to hold his or her significant other, to touch them, to tell them that they are loved, and to make every effort to cause them to smile. The more emotionally expressive partner might find themselves so choked with emotion that they in fact find it hard to express the depth of their feeling. These are not the same thing as what you describe.

When someone who cannot actually FEEL emotion, and someone who is deeply emotional, come together, there is no sharing, no learning. The person who cannot feel love, cannot give love. And so there is no balance there. No matter which way you slice it, if a person who has an emotional existence which is healthy and full, and another person who cannot actually profess honestly to feeling love for anything or anyone other than themselves, become entangled with one another, then all that happens is that the emotionally aware member of that partnership will become damaged by their association with the other.

That is the only outcome which ever comes to pass.

a reply to: edward777

I watched this a few months ago, and as an autistic who's been labeled a sociopath myself, I have to say this lady has no idea what she's talking about. Either that or I've been mislabeled. Maybe both? Either way, the closest I've come to promiscuity is being ordered by my (now) ex-girlfriend to have sex with one of her friends while she watched. I've had several occasions in my life where I could have cheated on someone and never did. The only reason I would ever have sex with someone, while in a relationship with someone else, is if my partner wanted me to do it.

"She had some very strange ideas about gratification, sharing, and the whole meaning and act of intercourse. She would think nothing of ensuring that I had been satisfied, and then turning over and going to sleep. She was deathly afraid of foreplay, and did not understand my need to satisfy her in return."

And that's why. What I (and presumably she) get out of sex is basically the same thing a quarterback gets out of throwing a touchdown pass - the satisfaction of a job well done. The physical sensation of it is utterly meaningless. My motivation for sex is essentially the same as my motivation to pet a cat or dog, to provide pleasure or comfort to someone I care about. Why are we afraid of having the tables turned, of having someone try to satisfy us? Because they will fail, and seeing them fail would mean we failed too.

a reply to: edward777

Sadly I have fallen for a woman like that.

I was seeing this woman who was the perfect embodiment of psychopathy. Clever, charming, gorgeous-all the traits that a man could want in a woman. But after a while I saw who she really was; a malignant, devious and selfish woman.

I would look after her son after school so she could run some 'errands' it turns out those errands were shooting speed at her dealers place and then sleeping with him. I practically raised her son while she was fulfilling her own selfish needs, and the only time she showed any concern for her son is when she pestered his father for child support, and you could guess where that money went.

Once I found out who she really was I left. Her last words to me were 'after all I've done for you...' I was speechless as I hung up the phone. I was the one who picked up her kid from school when she was too busy tapping the vein, and I was the one who helped him with his homework. She saw her son as a tool to get whatever she wanted-pity, money, and she completely ignored his concerns unless it was convenient to her.

The last time I heard she was in a womans shelter. I hope the poor kid is in a foster home or with his father, I dread to think what would happen to him if he was stuck with her.

a reply to: CretumOrbis

I fail entirely to believe that being a sociopath renders a human being incapable of achieving sexual climax. The mechanics by which such an event is achieved, in their coldest and least emotional form, are foolproof, and work the same regardless of who happens to be the target of them. It is a physiological response to a physiological stimulus.

a reply to: edward777

Could you fall in love with a psychopathic woman?

I do it all the time and it's no fun in the end

Just how do they see love?

It's an interesting question and sounds like an intriguing video. Thanks for the post as this very question has been on my mind lately--how others perceive, interpret, and demonstrate these abstract feelings we take so much for granted that we all understand equally; because, we don't!

originally posted by: spirit_horse
Been there done that and got shot with a 12 GA 00 Magnum buckshot in my sleep for it! Yea, right in the neck and back of my skull. Fortunately, I was able to hit the shotgun and she dropped it and ran. There were still 4 more shells in it. I was about 5 minutes from bleeding out when rescue and police arrived. 23 major surgeries later and I am back in action. Spent 2 years, 2 Christmas's and 2 New Years in the local trauma center.

I don't recommend trying that out if you can avoid it. I married her right after getting out of the military. I should have done my research. I had friends and family try to stop me, but I was in love and couldn't see the forest through the trees!


ETA: This was Christmas morning 3AM in 2001. My two daughters were in the house 9 and 11.

Wow. Just WOW.

Being a halfassed socio/psychopath myself; I see normalcy in anyone very odd.

One of my favorite lovers poisoned her husband to death a year after she had dumped me.

My current favorite is addicted to nose drops and asparagus.

Love is strange....

www.youtube.com...

originally posted by: TrueBrit
a reply to: CretumOrbis

I fail entirely to believe that being a sociopath renders a human being incapable of achieving sexual climax. The mechanics by which such an event is achieved, in their coldest and least emotional form, are foolproof, and work the same regardless of who happens to be the target of them. It is a physiological response to a physiological stimulus.

I agree. In fact, from my understanding of psychopaths they often see sex as the only way to gain a high without drugs. Yes, sex may be a game, a competition, or a means of playing with someone (i.e. breaking ones beliefs about what is right or wrong) but even the most rabid anti-psychopath sites admit that psychopaths are at the apex of sex and sexuality.
I knew a lady who left her husband who was a great guy but showed a lot of signs of psychopathy, I just did not know anything about it at the time. She remarried three times afterwards and admitted the sex life she had with her first husband was phenomenal. He has a son who is grown now who can basically walk into a room and pick which woman will be his new girlfriend. When he breaks up with them they are devastated. Yet all this said the guy whose wife left him remarried and is quite loyal to her, though he enjoys mind-f---ing women but never actually taking it to the level they come to desire.

8 minutes in she starts talking about the similarity between psychopaths and children. She goes on to describe how children are manipulative and "do love their parents in a way" and that psychopaths treat people they care about in a similar way.... I dont think she realises that shes describing mini sociopaths / psychopaths and that not all children manipulate their parents. This is a symtpom of the western lifestyle. You never find rural impoverished children from other cultures around the world behaving in those ways.

Is it possible that psychopathy is more primal and natural, where as non psychopathy is conditional, learned, cultural, and possibly fragile intellectual/emotional/information construct? Is it possible non psychopathy is more psychopathic, for it calls out and demands others to act in a certain manner and feel certain ways based on, their own feelings? Or is what I am saying psychopathic?

The conversation where she starts talking about seduction is really interesting! I admit i feel turned on by the fiery passion in her voice when shes talking about it... But i think........ I think man....this is wrong im being turned on by a sociopath.... So i put it on the back burner and listened, eventually i found out shes quite blasé about some of this too, which reveals a complex i am deeply turned off by. But still, if she roots out her blasé attitudes i might find her company enjoyable. But a sexual relationship, definately not... Not for me.... I dont eat snails.. Lol

But eat snails if thats.. No thats just wrong lol... I don't think im ready for any kind of relationship let alone one with a sociopath.

Oh... been there, done that... got the emotional scars to prove it!!

She was a sociopath and I'm highly empathic... not a good recipe for success. For my part, I fell in love with her until she let me know she was a diagnosed sociopath (I thought she was joking at the time) but her behavior over the following 18 months was classic sociopath, with the gift of hindsight.

The part about using sex as 'weapon' is very true.

She WAS the centre of the universe, uncaring to animals, disregarded emotion as weakness, used people to get what she wanted. You couldn't discuss things with her rationally as she was ALWAYS right.

originally posted by: edward777
Yet what if you do get a combination of a highly emotional man and an unemotional woman? Might that balance out?

No, definitely not.

Certainly not in my case anyhow as she was a sociopath.

She saw my emotions as weakness and used them against me, making it hurt harder.

They know how to manipulate and can twist everything to their advantage.

Then she starts talking about the problems with being an empath. Yeah.... The scars on my face from being scratched by my sociopathic brothers claws as a kid remind me why i hate these heartless animals... These people are scarred to, the difference is, they dont value other human beings as companions but as their plaything. Self centredness is at the heart of sociopathy, and its living out their lives from their own self centred fantasies that makes sociopaths so dangerous, even if they dont realise it. This woman is confused.

originally posted by: TrueBrit
a reply to: CretumOrbis

I fail entirely to believe that being a sociopath renders a human being incapable of achieving sexual climax. The mechanics by which such an event is achieved, in their coldest and least emotional form, are foolproof, and work the same regardless of who happens to be the target of them. It is a physiological response to a physiological stimulus.

My ex had no problems in that department. (lack of details on purpose)

a reply to: ImaFungi

If you every waking thought is not self centred then youre not psychopathic.

originally posted by: spirit_horse
Been there done that and got shot with a 12 GA 00 Magnum buckshot in my sleep for it! Yea, right in the neck and back of my skull. Fortunately, I was able to hit the shotgun and she dropped it and ran. There were still 4 more shells in it. I was about 5 minutes from bleeding out when rescue and police arrived. 23 major surgeries later and I am back in action. Spent 2 years, 2 Christmas's and 2 New Years in the local trauma center.

I don't recommend trying that out if you can avoid it. I married her right after getting out of the military. I should have done my research. I had friends and family try to stop me, but I was in love and couldn't see the forest through the trees!


ETA: This was Christmas morning 3AM in 2001. My two daughters were in the house 9 and 11.

This post and the next one by the same poster are probably and most likely are the most powerful posts I have ever read in my time here on ATS.

This is addressed to the posts authored by Spirit Horse, Thanks for sharing your very scary stories.

Regards, Iwinder

originally posted by: edward777
Yet what if you do get a combination of a highly emotional man and an unemotional woman? Might that balance out?

Maybe in rare cases, and probably wouldnt last.

Women need someone they can bother, and still see that even if they bother them, they are still wanted. If they have to be the bearer of the bothered, that would be a highly emotional man, they will probably not lost long, unless they have some 'being a mother to their significant other' fetish.