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I'm a cruel cruel BarSteward!!!

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posted on Oct, 31 2014 @ 02:13 PM
Yup, thats right folks, there I admit it... I'm just down right mean and cruel!

Why? Because I don't want my children having sugar... That means little to no chocolate, little to NO sweets and any other god damn product they ram full of that crap! What a sick cruel mean scroodge git I am!

I mean, every now and then doesn't do any harm right, just every now and then... Like christmas, easter, their bithdays, their siblings birthdays, all the other family members birthdays, their friends birthdays, halloween, treats when they go to see family members inbetween these times, treats from the mum, treats from the friends parents, baking some cakes and pretty much all the god damn time! It certainly is NOT every now and then! More like every bloody day!

In my mind this is flaming child abuse! But I am the meanie! Just a little chocolate you big meanie you!

Oh... But 1 of the kids... Aged 3... 12 teeth taken out, some had rotten to STUMPS!!! STUMPS!!! Yellowy brown STUMPS!!! = child abuse! But oh that's okay! It's just one of those things! We'll just forget about that little fact shall we! We'll just carry on plying them with copious amounts of sugar cos if you don't! You're a big meanie!!!

The other 2 who didn't have 12 flaming teeth pulled out at the hospital, didn't have all the sugar... Hmmmmm Hmmmmmmmmmmm I wonder why that was? Oh but you see I'm not there now! I can't "control" my ex anymore! So let the sugar flow!!! Yeeehaaaaaa!!! What a wonderous time they'll have!

Oh we won't even mention the all day TV they can now watch! I mean I'm a big meanie there too! Yep that's right folks, I don't want my kids sat infront of the TV all day either! I mean a little TV doesn't hurt them right? Just every now and then!... We'll forget all the studies and evidence how TV changes the structure of the brain!!! Yeah... Who wants to be a meanie!!!

Water... Pffft... I'm a meanie there too! I would like my kids to drink water... TASTELESS you big fat meanie!!!! How can I be so cruel??? I'd just like to apologise for being such a sicko! Please help me to reform and let me know how YOU go about plying your kids with sugar, TV and TASTY beverages! Please... I obviously need help...

posted on Oct, 31 2014 @ 02:20 PM

I thought this was a meeting for cruel bar stewards!

Sorry you feel like you have no control of your kids because of an ex, I know how it feels. Trust me, I know.

posted on Oct, 31 2014 @ 02:28 PM

originally posted by: CagliostroTheGreat

I thought this was a meeting for cruel bar stewards!

Sorry you feel like you have no control of your kids because of an ex, I know how it feels. Trust me, I know.

lol yeah I was in 2 minds about the title XD

Makes me feel ill mate, every time I call them, what are they doing? Well watching TV of course! They can barely even talk on the phone due to how zombied they are! Every time I call they're eating some crap or other... Nothing I can do either, I feel so bad for them, feel I let them down because I just couldn't take how rediculous my ex was anymore!

And I can bet my life they'll grow up thinking I am the meanie because I don't want them to have lollies and chocolate and tasty drinks that rot their teeth... Maybe one day they'll understand but by then the hate will be too ingrained and I'll forever be the meanie...

What can you do?

posted on Oct, 31 2014 @ 02:31 PM

originally posted by: Meee32

Oh... But 1 of the kids... Aged 3... 12 teeth taken out, some had rotten to STUMPS!!! STUMPS!!! Yellowy brown STUMPS!!! = child abuse! But oh that's okay! It's just one of those things! We'll just forget about that little fact shall we! We'll just carry on plying them with copious amounts of sugar cos if you don't! You're a big meanie!!!

Funny, I've never ever seen that, even with kids who go hog wild on Halloween with all the sugar. I think you are seeing an extreme case and reacting with your own extreme case in the opposite direction. It reminds me of a situation on Long Island where a group of mothers got together on a "War on Fat!" The wouldn't let their kids have ANY fat in their diets because "it was bad for them!" So if they drank milk, it was skim. Everything was "low fat" to "no fat." The kids were strictly monitored,

and turned out retarded. Why? Because a growing brain NEEDS a certain amount of fat to grow and prosper. And what I see in your post is a person who reacts in extremes to things you consider "bad." Are they as bad as you say they are? Well, I think wholesale ingestion of sugar is bad, too, but if that means your kid can never have an ice cream cone then you are depriving him as much as a Mom allowing her kids to sit in front of TV all day. And that could also be considered a form of child abuse. I'm taking a big leap here and expecting that if you are so extreme about sugar and TV, tow very different things, you are likely extreme about other things, too, and that's where I counsel moderation and a middle-ground.

Your goal, I would assume, is to raise healthy intelligent kids whoa are WELL SOCIALIZED and capable of getting along in the world with a lot of different types of people who have many different backgrounds. If you are extreme enough in your views that you crate children who are "different," that is not socializing them well at all.

Am I claiming you are actually doing that? No, not at all, but your attitude here is emotional and extreme enough that I think you need to guard yourself against doing this in every aspect of your children's lives.

posted on Oct, 31 2014 @ 02:37 PM
a reply to: schuyler

Sugar is NOT needed though at all, in any way shape or form... BTW I read an article the other day about milk causing early death... I'm not reactionary I listen to dentists, I read... I use my brain... Simple as that...

Fat is a whole other matter and not mentioned by me at all...

Here is the article on milk btw...

See I'm not saying zero sugar at all... But it is a fine fine line... The problem is a little turns into a hell of a lot! And because you have not seen kids teeth rotten to stumps doesn't mean it is not a problem, I can assure you it is. There are many children having to have teeth pulled at an early age... It's wrong my friend... I mean it is so bad they put bloomin chemicals in the water supply to try and lower all the cavities! But that isn't the answer! Just cut out the sugar and I guarantee you it wouldn't happen at all! Even if they didn't brush their teeth! Telling you, sugar is a problem!

EDIT: Wait wait wait XD I didn't read the last bit cos you had me soooo mad XD... So... Lemme get this straight, I should give in and let them do all the harmful things because lot of other parents do and don't even think about letting them be "different" I must teach them to follow the herd? Jeez...

It sounds to me that you bow down to any type of peer pressure there is! Must do what everyone else does! haha Ermmm no... Sorry I wholely disagree here too! Following the crowd does not make one intelligent, sorry...
edit on 31-10-2014 by Meee32 because: (no reason given)

EDIT: Just found this for you... t-in-hospital-8527836.html

Yup not a problem at all...
edit on 31-10-2014 by Meee32 because: (no reason given)

At Leeds Dental Hospital, Julie was told her daughter might need to have all of her teeth taken out due to decay. So she was actually relieved when a more senior dentist informed the mother-of-five that he would have to extract nine teeth but could save the rest. This would be shocking enough were Imogen an isolated case, but every year thousands of children in Britain are having large numbers of teeth removed in hospital under general anaesthetic, according to a leading dental expert.

A quote from the last article just in case you don't bother to go there... I mean pffft what does the LEADING dental expert know! Must be a wacko! Every YEAR THOUSANDS of children having LARGE numbers of teeth taken out... WHY??? Hmmmmm Hmmmmmmmmmmm
edit on 31-10-2014 by Meee32 because: (no reason given)

posted on Oct, 31 2014 @ 03:58 PM
a reply to: Meee32

I thought I may just say before the usual comments about our dental care in Britain is actually the best in the world.
We just don't gp in for the cosmetic stuff.

Oh and OP good for you.

posted on Oct, 31 2014 @ 05:19 PM
a reply to: Meee32

Okay,I'm trying to be totally honest here. I know you are really angry from reading your post. And I agree that no one needs a diet of sugar and laying around in front of a TV . This is an unhealthy life style. But I wish to make several points here.

1. It is obvious to me that there is a real issue that goes deeper here. Think we can all see that. This is about losing control. I know that you want the best for the kids and I can agree with that having raised 2 boys.But you need to take a deep breathe and relax. Notice I didn't say ignore,just relax. You don't want to stroke out over this when you can't be there at your ex's house to change anything.

2.Chocolate is not bad for you. It like everything else should be eaten in moderation. Yes there are sugars in it,but we even need some sugar in our diets just like we need a certain amount of fat. This is about moderation again though.

3. Bodies are made to get up and move. Not lay or sit around. Kids should be getting exercise every day.They should be normally active and want to get exercise. With all the gadgets we now have in our homes,kids have learned to be lazy like adults.

4. Water is essential, you need a certain amount every day to keep things functioning like they should and I agree,they should be drinking water,with soda only being a sometimes 'treat'.

It sounds like you ex is going through what most parents go through after a divorce,guilt. I failed at my marriage and so I failed my kids.There fore I will make it up to them by letting them do whatever they want,instead of being their parent which they really need right now more than ever.

Ultimately,you can only control what goes on in your home. If your ex is determined to let them run like wild animals there is not much you can do about it,unless it is something that is bringing them into immediate danger.Then the courts need to be informed.

I know that it is frustrating when you can't get a spouse (as in my case) or an ex to cooperate and do whats best for the kids at BOTH homes. But you need to stick by your own rules,because in the long run,one day when they are older,they WILL remember that you were doing what was best for them,and that the other parent wasn't. The ex will look bad in their eyes and they will start asking some pointed questions of them.

You don't want to or need to run down the other parent,simply explain to the kids that I know things are done differently at your other parents house,but here we go by my rules. They are sound rules and they have been thought through for your best interests. You may not thank me now,but one day you will for caring.

I hope things work out for you,but for your own sake,please lighten up and take things in stride. You can only control yourself,not others. You will have unending heart ache if you let this all get to you. I'm sorry.

posted on Oct, 31 2014 @ 05:31 PM
When I first had my daughter, I was just like you. No soda, no candy, no nothing. My husband is a bigger man, and his family is all big. I knew that my daughter had a 50/50 chance of having to worry with her weight for the rest of her life. I was determined that if she did, it was not going to be because I failed.

She'll be 17 in November and I learned many years ago to pick my battles.

This is what you are going to have to do now. You can not win every battle. You can not win every war.

Pick the one that is most important to you and relax a bit in the rest. After a while you will see that the world is not going to crumble (believe me... I went through it) and that giving a little on occasion makes everyone happier. Giving a little doesn't mean they get whole bags of candy or 2 liters of soda. It just means that you aren't going to freak out if they have a tootsie roll everyday. Give them choices. You can have the tootsie roll or you can have???

Compromising doesn't mean that you lose. I know that's the way it feels, but that's not reality. Your children will need to know how to make good choices when they get older and never being able to make those choices on their own is going to hurt them.

Again, offer them one piece of a less "harmful" candy or an Apple with PB. You may be surprised at some of their decisions and they will not think that you are the food nazi.

I get it. I truly do. You have no idea how busy I stayed when my daughter was younger making sure that my inlaw's weren't sneaking her whole candy bars 12 times a day. You have to work with what you've got. Don't look at it as losing.

edit on 10/31/2014 by Kangaruex4Ewe because: (no reason given)

posted on Oct, 31 2014 @ 06:20 PM
Children who are losing their baby teeth to cavities are not being taught to brush their teeth AT ALL; and obviously there is no parental supervision about making sure it's done either. Often the parent is letting the kids suck on a bottle of sugar water or juice all day and all night long, which is what contributes mightily to the problem.

This is enough for a referral to child protective because their permanent teeth won't turn out any better.

Bad teeth can turn into a lifetime of problems; heart disease from blood poisoning, constant pain and the obvious inability to get a decent job because you look like a bum.

Keep in mind sugar and especially chocolate have addictive properties; a kid started on these early will have a real tough time overcoming it, but it can be done.

posted on Oct, 31 2014 @ 06:27 PM
sucks to be your kids...

are they allowed to play? watch tv?

posted on Oct, 31 2014 @ 07:12 PM
a reply to: Meee32

I am the devil of Soda pop. NONE. No soda. SOME juice and we will even water that stuff down sometimes. BUAHAHAHA

I let my kid have SOME candy. Like once a week, but we are tooth hygiene Nazis.

We ration out things like Birthday candy, Halloween, or gifts like "hey you need hyper is some crack for your kids!"

My wife is meaner than me. I tend to give in more. She hates that I make her the evil sugar dictator in the house.

edit on 10 31 2014 by tadaman because: (no reason given)

posted on Oct, 31 2014 @ 09:45 PM
a reply to: Meee32

Perhaps substitute refined sugar products with things like i dont know apples bananas cherrys peaches ,you get my drift . Lots of amazing fruit out there .

posted on Oct, 31 2014 @ 09:55 PM
a reply to: Meee32

the thing you have to realize is that you are only 1/2 of their parents...
you and your spouse are separated so you each have a home and rules for what happens in that home...

just cause you dont want them to have sugar and soda does not mean he feels the same way....
you are both the childrens parrents....
i dont see how your rules matter more than the other parent....

of course what you want goes in your house....
and in the other its their rules.....

i think you should mellow out a bit. brush their teeth when they get home

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