DNA Parental testing, one of the best ever inventions for men?

Some years ago I met a beautiful girl in a bar and she ended up back at my home where one thing led to another so to speak.
She told me she was on the pill, we shared an amazing night, then she sort of moved in on a sliding scale each day as I noticed the beauty/female products slowly growing in my bathroom.
A few weeks later she was violently sick in the morning and I jokingly said it was 'morning sickness' which turned out to be less than a joke as she was in fact pregnant. To be fair to her she admitted to lying about being on the pill but insisted that the baby must be mine because the last guy she had sex with they had used condoms.
I was unconvinced, but not wishing to risk losing input in the life of a child who could possibly be mine, I faced it, she moved into my place, went through the pregnancy, fell in love, and a beautiful baby boy arrived in the world some months later.

Throughout the pregnancy I had always said I wanted a DNA test to be sure if the child was mine or not, so a week or so after he was born I paid the £300 for the test, and it came back that I was not the father. I had to hide my happiness, she couldn't hide her disappointment.
That said, I already loved her by then so we lived together for a further 7 years and I treated the lad no different to my own son who I have shared parental responsibility with my ex-wife, except that when he could speak he called me by my name, not dad - my own son treated him like a little brother though and it was all magic and marshmallows for the important starting years of this new life, family holidays, first day at school, and all the rest of it.
Our relationship only ended when she cheated badly on me a couple of times (she had a voracious sexual appetite) and I eventually walked away. But knowing that the young lad was not my biological child meant I lost two people in my life although I was glad that there was no maintenance payments or parental responsibility of any kind for me to face after our split.

So, I ask, is DNA parental testing up there in the list of best ever inventions for men?
Yes, ABO blood group typing has been around for a while, but it has never had the accuracy and simplicity of a swab to the inside of the mouth. I wonder how many men have brought up some other mans child thinking it is their own because the mother lied to them?
I have no issue with treating a step child the same as my own of course, but a man should have the right to know if he is.

All thoughts welcome on this perhaps delicate social issue.

a reply to: grainofsand



DNA Parental testing, one of the best ever inventions for men?

In a word yes.

Kind Regards,

Bally

For men. For women. For victims of crimes.

originally posted by: ~Lucidity
For men. For women. For victims of crimes.

Good point regarding victims of crime, but I'm more focussed on women who lie regarding paternity here.
Such deception is solely the privilege of women for obvious reasons.
Of course it is a bonus for say a woman who has multiple unprotected sexual partners to be able to find out who the father is, but prior to DNA testing a woman could (and did) just lie choosing the best option out of the guys, and now they can't. That is a good thing in my opinion.

a reply to: grainofsand

Yes it is. It is the way our society is structured. Back before DNA testing it was hit and miss. A blood test MIGHT prove you were not the Father but that was all you could hope for.

Basically, all through history, you relied on the women's word and often that proved unreliable. Even marriage gives no certainty of fatherhood.

The recent thread on ATS of the father of three who was found unable to father a child after he tried to get the next door neighbor pregnant. His wife went 'whoops.'

It is not just supporting the child for 18 years. Payments have historically also supported the women. Even now in some countries, you can not enforce a DNA paternity test, you have to be sneaky about it.

Raising another's child is not a problem for many as the OP nicely pointed out, but knowing the truth is very important.

The mother always knows if she is the mother, except for those odd hospital mix ups with babies. DNA is great for those as well.

It is a sad world where some few mothers think it is just fine to hoodwink a man on this issue. It is critical for men to know the truth, it always has been.

P

originally posted by: pheonix358
Even now in some countries, you can not enforce a DNA paternity test, you have to be sneaky about it.

Wow, that is pretty shocking, at least here in the UK child maintenance cannot be enforced if there is a dispute and the mother refuses a DNA test. I would think that should be the standard in all countries, it is a simple swab in the mouth so why on earth should that be refused?!

a reply to: grainofsand

Men lie to and say it wasn't them. I'd call it a win-win

I believe its good for all, morning sickness starts usually in 5th to 7th pregnant week ( it doesn´t start like in a week or two like many thinks )
Why its good, there were a case in my country about a man who wanted a decades ago a parental test as he didn´t believe the child was his but woman refused and test were not done. This man and this woman never were together as a couple and supposed fatherhood was one night happening. This guy was pretty much forced to pay child support for the kid till she was 18 years old. Man and "daughter" never had any relationship or were close as he always thought he was fooled in this and kid is not his. When man got older and has a family on his own, he approached to this "daughter " of his and asked if she is ok with parental test and she agreed. The results came and prooved that this man was right all the time, he paid many years of child support for the child which was not his at all and if he would not have the results done his future heritage would have been splitted between his real kids and a daughter which was not his..

Makes you think.. doesn´t it ?

a reply to: ~Lucidity
How exactly does a man deny he had sex with a girl who is claiming to be pregnant?
Ejaculation is not essential for a pregnancy, and I'd be amazed if any woman would not know if a guy was wearing a condom or not, so really, regarding lies, the DNA test is more useful to a man when there are questions of sexual partners and paternity.
How about win -WIN?

originally posted by: grainofsand
a reply to: ~Lucidity
How exactly does a man deny he had sex with a girl who is claiming to be pregnant?
Ejaculation is not essential for a pregnancy, and I'd be amazed if any woman would not know if a guy was wearing a condom or not, so really, regarding lies, the DNA test is more useful to a man when there are questions of sexual partners and paternity.
How about win -WIN?

Do you not watch Jerry Springer? Well, I don't, but I've heard...well men deny a child is theirs ALL the time.

Yes .. though thanks to uncle scam spraying agent orange during vietnam am sterile .. but for the rest its a big help.

a reply to: dollukka
That is a rather sad story on different levels.
The cruelty of the mother refusing a test when she knew how important the issue was to the man. The loss of certainty resulting in a flawed father-child relationship, poor child not knowing.
What a bitch that woman must have been, how sad, and most definitely makes me think.

So what about the Child Afterwards?

Good for woman/men yet leaves issues Later for said child after the 2 find this out! Say 5 yrs have passed, come to find out one has another child yet the adult forgot to drop you a line. Or both adults having Issues, one decides to go take an DNA out of Spite.

The Dead Beat Dad line was so Wrong! What about Crazy Lady Madness line? lets give said child to the woman and have the man pay. Men can take Care of a Child Too; all by Themselves. The Whats Best for Said Child has nothing to do about it!

Just Go Ask any Child going through all this!

Peace

a reply to: grainofsand

The big problem has been for decades that system needs payers and when it comes to paternity system believed mothers word on issues and value of fathers word was close to zero, system doesn´t care who the father is only who is going to pay.
This has roots in lifestyle people used to have, people did not make one night quickies in a scale people do nowadays.
As people have gone reckless and take no responsability of their sexual acts. its all about PARTY..PARTY..SEX , i believe the paternal tests are everyone´s rights and they should be done in any cases where a woman have had reckless behaviour. I believe these "mom´s " have lost credibility.
If man asks paternity test, it should not be refused. The victimizing men has to stop.

a reply to: ~Lucidity
Lol, I am aware of those types of programmes, and I consider men who refuse to support their kids as scumbags.
But if a woman only had sex with that man she would know that the child was his. A man who only sleeps with one woman only believes that a child is his. A man could never deceive women in the same way regarding parentage, therefore, as a man, I see a net gain for us in scumbag women no longer being able to get away with it.

I also see massive benefits for women to trap a rich bloke during a one night stand or whatever, but I am focused on male benefits of DNA testing in this thread because I'd be shot down to bits if I even dared discussing that on ATS - Misogynist!!! Etc ...and I don't really fancy that on a Sunday afternoon lol

Pretty sure best invention is not sleeping with someone you shouldnt trust to begin with. Even if it was condoms its not unknown some people to poke holes in them.

a reply to: infoseeker26754
I prefer the truth everytime, even if it hurts.
Perhaps you would wish to lie to a child about their biological parentage, and at an early stage in life we often do (I think of my adopted neice), but ultimately the truth is the truth, even if it hurts.
...and in the case of women lying to men about parentage, they are the only ones to be blamed when the truth comes out and causes hurt.

a reply to: Aural
Then how do you define trust? Known someone a few weeks, years?
Trust is always just blind faith that the other person isn't lying to us. We can never 'know' that someone is telling the truth, why do you think so many hearts are broken because someone has been cheating on them.Mine has been a couple of times and I was genuinely shocked that I hadn't suspected anything.

Yep I'd love to know exactly how you define 'trust' and and what point it is deemed adequate enough for me to enjoy sex with someone safely?

For men, it keeps your wife or girlfriend honest and levels the playing field legally speaking.

A woman has a huge advantage by committing to one man for security and support, while mating with other men for characteristics like strength, healthy immune system, symmetrical physical proportions, etc. as long as she can pass them off as her committed partner's children.

Of course men have the advantage of not giving birth in the first place and can go and sow a bunch of wild oats behind the wife's or GF's back. Humans are not as committed to their mates as they would like to pretend they are, not when compared to some other animals.

originally posted by: MichiganSwampBuck
...as long as she can pass them off as her committed partner's children.

On a similar theme, one of my closest friends is white and his wife is of mixed Chinese/black Caribbean origin, their son is white with ginger hair. She has had it so many times over the years when someone has assumed he is not her child, to the point she laughs about it because she obviously remembers giving birth to him.
My friend was at the birth but he can only 'know' that the father was white, anything else is based on belief and trust in his wife who has given him no reason to think she is lying. To be fair though now the little lad is getting older he's looking just like my mate so I don't have any doubts who dad is...but when it comes to any pregnancy only the woman can know if anyone else is in the frame for it, the man can only believe the woman.