a reply to: OpenEars123
Here is a question for you.
Did your father, ever once, make you feel as if you were irrelevant to him? Did you ever feel more like a badge for him to wear to justify his
existence, than a person in your own right? Did he ever force, by way of his own laziness, your mother to shoulder a greater burden than she ought to
have been asked to carry alone?
If the answer to these is no, then you could do much worse than to follow his example to the letter.
If however, the answer is yes, to any one of these, then avoid the route of emulation.
What I would say, is that it is healthy for a fellow to know what he does, and does not like. It is also healthy for a child to learn that lesson
early. Doing so promotes a healthy interest in wider matters, like right and wrong, crime and punishment, law and order, and the odd manner in which
law rarely serves the aim of justice in this modern world.
For references sake, my father did all the wrong things, and the only thing I ever learned from him, were all the ways to avoid being able to call
oneself a man without lying. He disowned myself, and my sister, and divorced my mother, when I was fifteen years of age, just coming up to my last
year in senior school. He actually moved out during my exams.
He was a thoughtless, spiteful, callous creature. His every attempt at bonding was a mere chore to him. Rarely have I encountered such a cancerous
individual as my own father. It can seem that I am too ready to say that of him to some people, because people by and large, want to believe the best
about folk. But truly, this was a man for whom the entire business of being a man was something that other, lesser beings than he need concern
themselves with, and was not for his unique psyche to have to bend around.
So, from where I sit, unless your father is Satan incarnate, the devil in a mask of flesh, I would recommend giving him the benefit of the doubt, and
yourself as well. Although it is important, vital even, that a person come to their own decision about who they are, who they want to be, how they
want to be, the example provided by a good father cannot be underestimated, in either its value or its potency.
Your father, from what you have said, does not appear to be an agent of Hell, just a curmudgeon. There are many worse things to be than a
curmudgeon... At least, I hope so. I am the youngest one I know!