a reply to: CranialSponge
Oh I don't know... I could sit with my nose over a bottle of Kraken for a considerable time. I think is aroma is one of the nicest I come across in
my comings and goings in my life. I imagine it must make for a very nice gentleman's fragrance, although, on behalf of hairy chested men everywhere,
I must point out that a man should smell of engineering grease, burnt metal, rust, and badassery.
Another reason to like The Kraken, is that when one is a hairy metal head, and is about to open a bottle of rum in good company, it is customary
where the Kraken is concerned, to open the bottle, while saying something like...
Gather closer me hearties! Come hither, and hear the tale of woe, that I shall now bestow upon ye. 'Twas a sinister wind that blew from the north,
that fateful night near three hundred years ago, when a ship with no name set out to sea, loaded with treasures hoarded by theives and brigands,
headed for an isle which appears on no map. Thunder and lightning rent the heavens in twain, and rain as thick as to blind a man to all that lay
beyond a swords length from him, battered the crew of the burgeoning vessel as it made its way from port.
The first mate had warned his captain, in loud and tremulous voice "We must head back! This storm is cursed! Either the ship will sink, or the
damned sea will rise to swallow it!" But the captain payed no heed. On they pressed, no sleep, no rest, for a day and a night under the veil of this
storm. Twice they thought they would lose the main mast, and thrice was the ship in danger of turning over, such was the scale of the waves which
smashed against the hull. Only the grace of God, or the hand of the fates prevented it.
All of a sudden, they were becalmed, the seas became a millpond, and the skies became clear as day, for as far as the eye could see, and for some
four days it seemed as if the ill fated voyage was not doomed to kill them all, as it had seemed when they left port. On the sixth day though, as they
were progressing further and further into the uncharted waters they were destined for, storms were seen on the horizon, fat and black with omens and
dark portent, and within hours, the nameless vessel was once again awash with a rain issued from the hand of God himself, with strength as if to smite
the sinners and bastards in the crew from the decks themselves!
The captain grinned a rictus smile at his first mate, and so doing spake thusly, the final words on that vessel "Well lad! The only thing that could
make for a prettier day than this, would be..."
And now just as then, ye scurvy knaves, the tale must end, because you see...THE KRAKEN ARISES!