Online Dating – Is it Worth it?

a reply to: Realtruth

why yes it does.. but you have to be more specific on what you want. Since you will both go out of your way to make your first meeting happen.

I hopped on eHarmony after growing tired of the people I was meeting through normal interactions. That and after seeing a TON of people find the one using that site. I tried others initially, but they were awful and the quality of people was pretty discouraging.

I was really picky with the whole thing but still ended up dating a few girls I met there for awhile and going on some dates that at the worst were boring.

I met my current girlfriend through eHarmony and she's the best thing that's ever happened to me. We're moving in together in a few months. She's my best friend, and even though we've been dating for awhile now I still get manly butterflies when I talk to her, think about her and see her. Can't get enough of each other. We'll spend the entire weekend together and then talk on the phone for a few hours when she goes home Sunday. I've always been a serious relationship kind of guy, but I didn't know what love was until I met her.

a reply to: Domo1

Happy for you and congrats.

I looked into E-harmony, but they had set filters so older men can not search for younger women, yet women can search up and down in age ranges.

There is a whole story about this on the internet and when a group like E-harmony try to set rules for only one gender, then imo it's a no-go.

I've heard great success stories on E-dating like yours, so there is hope for many of us.

Thanks for sharing.

a reply to: Realtruth

Thanks!

It's been awhile since I've been on, but you could set the age range from 18-whatever. I think I had mine set at 22-33. I'm wondering if there is a certain age where they start restricting you.

originally posted by: Realtruth
a reply to: Domo1

Happy for you and congrats.

I looked into E-harmony, but they had set filters so older men can not search for younger women, yet women can search up and down in age ranges.

There is a whole story about this on the internet and when a group like E-harmony try to set rules for only one gender, then imo it's a no-go.

I've heard great success stories on E-dating like yours, so there is hope for many of us.

Thanks for sharing.

Eharmony is a joke.

a reply to: Realtruth

So update us since this thread was in June... have you tried any sites yet and if so what have been your experiences?

originally posted by: OpinionatedB
a reply to: Realtruth

So update us since this thread was in June... have you tried any sites yet and if so what have been your experiences?

No I haven't tried any sites, but I have a really active social life so I don't really have any problems meeting people.

Anything is possible if you are open to it....

I have been married for 20 years...It has been a rocky road the entire time. Finally after trying everything possible to make my marriage better the door was left opened....I met someone online not on a dating site but a forum where there was a heated discussion....You had to have an ac account there in order to participate.....The day I had gone on the site to delete my account I had received a message from someone that I had occasionally participated in discussions with.

I really didn't think about it and he had a question about a project I had been involved with a couple of years ago. It involved more than a simple answer so i offered up my chat info. and said he contact me there if he wished to discuss the project.

He contacted me the next day....and we hit it off right away. There was definite attraction on both sides but because I was
married we agreed to stay "just friends" After a couple of months there was no denying our feelings for one another...but I knew he would not ever consider even one date with a married woman..

I have never ever experienced feelings so strong for someone so quickly...We would spend 6-7 hours a day talking....and the most amazing thing was when we were online talking about a deep topic we would write the same thing at the exact same time, most of the time.....Actually, this happened 12 times in the first conversation we had! This happens everyday still!

We exchanged pictures and from that point on the chemistry was palpable! I was confused and frustrated and overwhelmed with the situation. One day it dawned on me how miserable I was in my marriage and how I did not want to spend the next 20 years like the previous....I could be missing the opportunity for the greatest love of my life! so without saying anything to my friend, I told my husband I wanted a separation...which would ultimately lead to divorce.....

Please understand when I say rocky road I mean very rocky! Even after years of infidelity I agreed to stay and work things out! But we reached the point where he just will not communicate at all and began living a separate life..He has always been a great father, my kids are 19 and 18 and I am grateful he will always be in their lives....But he was really a crappy husband!

I did not like the person I had become but it was worse than that....I spent years trying to be the person he wanted.....and when I would change, he would acknowledge for a day or 2 and then move onto to the next thing I needed to do!! He did not change at all and did not think he needed to!! I felt insecure and trapped and controlled.....

I waited a week before I told my friend that I was going to get divorced and he offered to be there for me every step of the way!! My friend had not been in a relationship for 5 years...After a devastating end with his fiance he had closed his heart to the thought of another woman and the possibility of love......

What happened between us can not be explained....we are both very analytically minded yet could not make sense of what is going on...I am a free spirit at heart and I just told him to go with it...no pressure lets just enjoy each others company....

Eventually we fell in love.....he lives 3 hours from me but is overseas doing contract work....We have never met in person but talk everyday and skype often...I know I have met the man I will spend the rest of my life with...and for him it is the same..However, he still struggles with how can you fall in love on line....

We have been talking for a year and a half..He was supposed to return home in August, but do to unseen circumstances he is not back yet if all goes well he should be home in January....So yes I do believe love is possible on line, but not just there it is possible anywhere if you are open to it!

Thanks for letting me share my long story...lol

Pax

a reply to: paxnatus

Wow thank you for sharing that.

Actually my next thread is going to be about Marriage and why I think/and others think that marriage may be a dying institution.

Please don't take that the wrong way because I believe in healthy relationships, but what I don't believe in is Marriage used to trapped, control, or torture the other person with a legally binding contract.

People need to find happiness, strength and love within themselves first and marriage is a great way to become complacent, and to take for granted the other person.

I also think meeting someone online gives a person the time to really open up, especially since all you have to do is chat. lol

But with that one also needs to meet the other person and cohabitate with them for at least 4 seasons to see if a long term commitment is in order.

Aside from that it's good to hear you've found happiness.

Yes, it’s worth it for people who knows how to DO IT RIGHT. According to DailyDater:

Online dating is the number one way to meet the man of your life. And over 30% of marriages last year starts online, not in person.

DOING IT RIGHT is all it takes to see its worth.

a reply to: Realtruth

I once tried it because I was getting interested in dating again and didn't feel like doing so with most of my peers due to different interests and such. Nobody I knew at the time made me feel like ''well, we could have at least a good/fun/interesting date together...'' so I signed up, new to it! I posted a pic of myself and some info about my interests, taste in music and such with a few jokes added in.

I'm speaking from my female experience here: there was a huuuuuuge overload in messages. I at first responded to most if they were polite, read my profile and didn't inform me about the size of their genitals or something. I'm a rather 'polite' person but eventually it became too much because i had other things to do and lost interest in many.

Well, eventually I had a rather disastrous date, imo. He was there, I greeted him, and off he went rambling about himself. Endlessly! He seemed almost surprised if you added in a word or question. ''I like this, I like that, politically I think blabla party X is really good and I went to see Band x was really nice etc etc'' into oblivion. I went home completely dumbfounded... wtf just happened? Weird afternoon, and quite awkward. When he shut up one minute I was so overwhelmed by the huge stream of words I was awkwardly stupefied.

We didn't keep in touch

Then there was an attractive guy and it was ok chatting with him and as he didn't live very far away we met up. I was looking around at the place where we were supposed to meet and I was looking for a guy like in the picture... turned out the picture was from several years and quite some pounds ago. Rather put me off, it felt misleading. If he'd been honest and shared some representative pictures I'd have really appreciated that.

Online I spoke to some people but after these dates I didn't really feel like continuing on that site. However, I met many great people/dates/friends through sites and fora because of mutual interests and mutual liking of each other's posts/persona/etc. I'd suggest you try it, but don't get your hopes up too much! Some people really met the love of their lives that way though and I really think it's an advantage with internet that you meet people and can select them based on interests, opinions, if they seem like a somewhat decent person etc.

Edit: It seems to be a common thing to lie/be lied to about looks/etc by the way, so watch out.

a reply to: Pitou

I'll offer yet another male comparison; my inbox on one of the sites is drier than a desert. Apparently, the ladies are not interested in a conspiracy/music geek that loves to make fun of himself (complete with average pictures, and captions that I found humorous).

Most of the girls I've met are not bad, but there's too many red flags that I'm the one friend-zoning them.

In short: My opinion is that I consider a dating site like a fun, little second job that adds a couple new faces to the mix.

-foss

PS: From a success standpoint, for the moment it's not too successful.

a reply to: fossilera

Has a friend read your profile and perhaps commented on it?

But your descriptions match what I already heard from other people, that it's just really boring and difficult as male. I wonder if there's a different kind of 'gender perception' at work here. For instance, my interests, taste in music, art etc aren't 'stereotypical for my peer group' so to speak and then it's ''that's so interesting/finally someone who doesn't follow the herd!/blabla *suckup* etc'' whereas for a dude with similar or exactly the same interests it's perhaps ''what a geek/weirdo/he probably has issues'' etc.

What you said about red flags... yeah that too Online I found many red-flaggish types, I only spent a rather short while on that site and on another one many years ago when I met really kind of creepy/predatory types(but let's just forget that ) but I spent plenty of time online, be it fora, sometimes games, whatnot. It taught me a lot about people to avoid, there're many emotional parasites and other undesirable people online. Or people who burden you with their issues without wanting to do anything about it or change their attitude towards it.... no, you're an infinite tissue.

Yeah, coming to think of it, I met some really bizarre people (bizarre in the wrong way!) online. I guess that's my curse though... I like those who're different.

Enough with the complaining!

Good luck with your online dating endeavours.

a reply to: Pitou

Yeah, I've had friends check the profile out; at least for the female friends, they said it was fine by their standards; all the dudes wanted me to put my nicknames I've earned, or photos of me acting "macho" (laughing at that as we speak).

Same on my front for art and music - Most of both are by people that very few have ever heard of, and most people don't even read that part of the profile (well, I do when visiting, but that's just me; content comes before photos).

And I'm not complaining; it's better to have a few conversations going than be bombarded with "Hey, want to hook-up tonight for some action", or "omg, you are soo hot; can I have your number"


Good Luck to you as well! (I'm betting you'll have more luck than I do; it's a small pool up here)

-foss

PS: Sorry to the OP for going off on a tangent, I'll retreat to my profile.

a reply to: Realtruth

It seems quite obvious that it would greatly increase your chances of meeting someone. Just from thinking; Time at the bar, time at the cafe, time at the laundromat, time walking down the street, time at weddings, time at parties, time at work = how many potential dates. Or; How many dating sites you sign up for, how well you fill out your information, time browsing matches, time spending online talking to matches.

I met my recent ex-husband online...one of those *fishy* dating sites. He sent me a short note to introduce himself that had me laughing until my sides hurt. (He was talking about midget juggling but in all fairness I had toilet paper origami & a few other random topics listed as hobbies...) The key is being yourself, honestly stating what you want & are looking for. I married a GREAT guy. Don't take our divorce as a sign of failure, we are still friends, just other circumstances made it a requirement to go our separate ways to keep from killing each other. Now that I am single & had time to regroup I considered doing it again when someone from my past came back to haunt me & we are now dating. Life is crazy, open the doors & invite it in!

what do you think about Russian dating sites? I am using some, but many of my friends are convinced that those are absolutely fake and the women are scams. does anyone have any experience with Russian girls?

Actually online dating seems to be not serious and pointless. However society is developing and day by day we can meet a lot of people who try to find theit true love using special sites. I have also met ones, at least 5 of my friends have got acquainted their soulmate on the dating sites. Especially they come in handy for shy people who are not confident. We are more sincere with a person when we chat online, and it's a fact. If you talk about fraud then you should use proved sites like this one kovla.com... For 21-century society it is much more easier to find a soulmate somewhere in the Internet than in the street

I've never quite used an online dating site BUT i have met people online and met up with them. Unfortunately, 99.9% of them do not look like their pictures. I think that is the most deceiving of all. I get it that most of these sites are for those with a busy schedule, etc, but I think that if you have to resort to online dating, something is wrong.

I prefer to meet people the old fashioned way and thankfully, i've never had a problem doing so. I met my current BF at work and am happy to have had daily interaction with him (we no longer work together, we both promoted) and gotten to see the real him.

The one thing I always tell people not to do are blind dates. They are just a big NO !