Obesephobe - could this be a new word for the 21st century?

originally posted by: Char-Lee
a reply to: grainofsand

A poster or two here have suggested I should have said "I'm not attracted to her" and effectively hide my reason.
I ask why the hell should I?

For the same reason that when we grow up we don't do what my 5 year old once did and ask an old man why he was so ugly.

It is known as being mature.

Are you really claiming that when a friend asks me if I'm interested in another female friend and I reply "No, because her body size turns me off" then that is 'immature' ?
Please do explain. The fat friend didn't even know about the conversation, but if she asked me why I didn't want to have sex with her I would give the same truthful response if directly asked. How is that immature?

*Edit*
"Ugly" is a subjective assertion, body fat percentage is not, it is measurable and can be easily observed.

a reply to: grainofsand

Are you really claiming that when a friend asks me if I'm interested in another female friend and I reply "No, because her body size turns me off" then that is 'immature' ?

Yes that is my opinion. I feel the mature person would not need to clarify why in such a manner.

Most people would say no, I don't know her maybe she is really nice but I am not feeling any attraction...period.

a reply to: Kryties

originally posted by: Kryties
The OP gives no regard or thought to the fact that many obese people cannot help it, as obesity can also be genetic or as a result of depression or some other medical conditions.

All I saw in this thread were people disgusted at the 'fat people' for eating too much.

The ignorance displayed in this thread is astonishing.

While genetic disorders leading to obesity do exist, they do not affect so many people as to make this argument valid. The Fat Gene has also been proven to be largely a myth.

Overeating is and will always be the main reason for obesity 9 times out of 10.

a reply to: Char-Lee
So, why do you feel the need to hide or disguise how you really feel, should I now be ashamed of myself because I am sexually/visually repulsed by fat bodies caused through over-eating and a sedentary lifestyle?

I prefer honesty if asking, or asked, a question, I'm curious to understand why you do not.

originally posted by: thedeadtruth
This is not a new issue..... Greed, Sloth and Gluttony are not new deadly sins. And obesity reflects all 3. The difference is...

In the past a spade was called a spade. Now there are legions of "academics" out there being "obesity apologists" who's sole job does not seem to be to actually help. But to excuse it and make others feel bad for not just accepting Greed, Sloth and Gluttony as normal.

Being in the army I find obesity to be a serious character flaw. A sign of laziness and a true signal that a soldier does not care about himself, his career, setting an example or being fit enough to get his fellow soldiers out of a serious situation.

Fat people disgust me. I have never seen a fat person who works out not get fit. I have seen, however, fat people who don't work out stay fat. There is no excuse.

a reply to: projectvxn

It never ceases to amaze me that people even attempt to deny that the majority of fat people can choose to make lifestyle changes which will change their situation.

As I said, if someone chooses to be fat then good luck with it, but the day society frowns upon me for saying that I'm unattracted to someone because they are fat, being forced to invent some other diluted reason, then it really is 'thought crime' and 1984.

originally posted by: projectvxn
Fat people disgust me

Same, and the fact that people are being conditioned into thinking that such thoughts are unacceptable is the thrust of this topic in a sense. I won't randomly volunteer such thoughts of disgust to a fat person, but if asked I'm honest - is that a crime now?!

a reply to: grainofsand

Right on comrade

i am also repulsed/disgusted by rolls of fat

what gets me is when did fat become attractive

if you are fat please cover up, i don't want to see it.

i am a reasonably fit and healthy 44 year old man

basic rule of thumb

if i can't pick her up with one hand she is too big for me.

a reply to: marvinthemartian

Haha understood! Intimate moments have many more interesting options when you can actually pick your partner up!

On a darker note though imagine a house fire or something and you couldn't save the one you love because they ate too many sticky buns and you couldn't lift them. [shudders at the thought]

...oh and you do realise that some people wish to create a world where it is frowned upon to be open about any feelings of repulsion by fat bodies - Obesephobia!! such hatred, what about the children!!!!

a reply to: grainofsand
Don't let the PC brigade win

what next, thought police

Honesty is still the best policy

originally posted by: grainofsand
a reply to: Char-Lee
So, why do you feel the need to hide or disguise how you really feel, should I now be ashamed of myself because I am sexually/visually repulsed by fat bodies caused through over-eating and a sedentary lifestyle?

I prefer honesty if asking, or asked, a question, I'm curious to understand why you do not.

The question you asked my opinion on was a question of manners not your preferences.

The person was not just some stranger out of earshot, it was your friends FRIEND. if you don't get the need to be polite in this situation there is no reason for me to say anything further.

I suppose you would also say..wow you hang out with HER..good God...she's your FRIEND!

Same thing. Mature people see no reason to express hurtful unneeded information in my opinion.

a reply to: Char-Lee
So you lie to your friends then yeah? I don't, and I'm glad my friends don't lie to me if I ask a question.
Many years ago I felt I was drinking too much and lamely bleated to my friend about it like I was some victim of circumstance.
He told me bluntly "Well fix it then", no BS sympathy about X or Y first world problem I perceived, just "Fix it, you can't blame anyone else but yourself"

...I prefer that world to your suger-coated 'politeness' when you are really just being...urm...well...false.

a reply to: grainofsand
I am assuming you are very young.

a reply to: Char-Lee
Lol, depends on your definition of young,early 40's, good strong circle of long time trusted friends, including the fat one.
What exactly is your point? Are you implying that honesty to a question is a sign of immaturity?
Is disguising one's true feelings and effectively having a contrived false relationship with ones friends a sign of maturity in your opinion?

*Edit*
I understand 'politeness' in the sense that I would not randomly volunteer my thoughts to a fat person unless asked. But basically lying to someone and pretending that you are not repulsed by overweight bodies when considering a sexual/romantic partner?
Has our society really become so false? No wonder so many people don't care about damaging their health through eating too many sticky buns. Perhaps they think their 'friends' like fat arses because they never share how they really feel..

originally posted by: Kryties
The OP gives no regard or thought to the fact that many obese people cannot help it, as obesity can also be genetic or as a result of depression or some other medical conditions.

All I saw in this thread were people disgusted at the 'fat people' for eating too much.

The ignorance displayed in this thread is astonishing.

Really.........Really........People are fat because of a simple thing called self control. It is the same reason people become addicts and make other bad life choices.



Is this harsh.....Yes.....Is it a cold hard fact.......Yes. Are the people so weak of mind in today's world as they can not even hear the truth anymore without freaking out?

I have personal experience with this, worked as a nutritionist and personal trainer for years. This idea even a decent percentage of overweight/obese people are overweight/obese due to medical issue is an inaccurate excuse. Yes, thyroid issues effect a tiny percentage of people, as does a severe injury, but that in no way is the majority.

Nine times out of ten, people are obese due to a lifestyle issue, poor diet and lack of activity. Nine times out of ten, when a client is put on a healthy diet, cuts out the sodas, the processed food, eat more organic fruit and veggies, healthy meat, cut out the processed sugar, etc, and they increase their activity levels, whether by working out in a gym or taking up jogging, they lose weight. Period. There's a reason when you're in a gym you see a bunch of athletic and good looking people, both men and women. They are in there most days working at it! And, they eat healthy! People make this more complicated than it needs to be.

I also, during a rough time in my life where I hated my job where fastfood was the only real option many days and was working 60+ hours a week, was eating unhealthy and drinking a fair amount on the weekends, ballooned up to 250 lbs. It was due to my lifestyle. Then, I decided to change back to being healthy, salads, veggies, protein bars and exercise 6 days a week. Cut out the alcohol too. Guess what? I dropped down to 180 lbs. That's not to say everyone or anyone has to do the same, but rather it is to say when you change your lifestyle to a healthier one, you generally are more healthy and look fitter. Triathletes look like triathletes because.....they train like triathletes.

We also, and people KNOW this, witness every time we go grocery shopping, obese people stacking soda and chips and cookies and processed cereal and microwavable meals in their carts. It's an issue of poor choices and a poor lifestyle. And if you aren't willing to take 20-30 mins to prepare dinner, your activity levels likely aren't where they should be. People who work out regularly somehow find the time for the most part to prepare healthy meals. Those who don't workout appear to act like the time just isn't there. It's a choice. It's a priority. Great students find the time to study, poor ones apparently don't have the time.

There's also something being missed in the attraction conversation. People are also attracted to people with similar lifestyles. If I enjoy being outdoors, hiking, running, exercising, enjoy the gym, enjoy eating healthy, why am I going to be attracted to someone who doesn't value the same lifestyle? Lifestyle matters in attraction. If I'm active and eat healthy, I want a partner who shares those same interests and part of that is someone who LOOKS like they share those same interests.

Ultimately, people can live how they want to live but it's quite ridiculous to tell someone who they should and should not be attracted to. As if you can even control it. Look back at human history. Look at how humans have looked over thousands of years. Much skinnier than the average American today. That's what our brains were meant to be attracted to. That's how humans should naturally look, prior to all the poor food and sedentary lifestyles came along. But, we have people arguing you can change the way a human looks, to the point they don't resemble what human kind has looked like for thousands upon thousands of years and we're suddenly supposed to be attracted to a different looking human, an unhealthy human. Our brains are rigged to be attracted to good looking, fit people, for the purpose of procreation. Why do guys check out a good looking woman walking down the street? It often happens without you thinking about it, it's a natural reaction. Our brains are supposed to find that attractive, it's not a choice.

Just about everyone we know who lost weight did it by increasing activity levels and eating healthier. Either that or getting their stomach stapled, which forced smaller portion sizes.

When you inflict change, you generally get change. There's a reason people in the gym most says working at being fit, generally look fit and those who don't exercise daily, generally look like they don't exercise daily.

a reply to: MysticPearl
Excellent points, although I will add that choosing to eat crap food is do-able if you burn the energy off. I eat lots of crap fast food in the day (as well as lovely nutritional meals at home) many thousands of dirty processed fat calories some days, but many days I'm working a hard physical job...it is why I am not fat.

The vast majority of fat people have only themselves to blame, and it is puzzling that some people think we should lie to them if it repulses us, when asked.

a reply to: SubTruth
Totally agree.

*Edit*
Regarding my OP worries of 'Obesephobe' becoming the new 'hate' word in society though, I am pleasantly surprised with the mere trickle of fat-defenders here trying to promote and fly the flag for those folk who choose to consume more energy than they use.

I am pleased that it is not yet completely unacceptable to be vocal about your sexual partner preferences when asked.
"Fat Pride" events are unlikely to be happening at a town near me soon lol

This is the best thread ever on ats







Fat people who think they are sexy is a cancer in this world.