What advice would you give to a person in their early 20s?

reply to post by Domo1


Very good advice, THANK YOU for taking the time to write such a well thought out post

reply to post by AnIntellectualRedneck


This really clicks with me and I can relate to exactly what you're saying. I am fortunate enough to have parents that are currently able to help me get through my University schooling even after the recession which took a major hit on my family since my father works at Ford but the idea of community college is a very good one, I did that for a year before transferring to university.

and I like that saying, "if it stinks it's probably rotten."

reply to post by wasobservingquietly


Thank you for the response!

That last quote you threw in there is fantastic!

I would tell my younger self, "Stay strong, you have done everything you possibly could have done given your limited resources. I have analzed everything over and over, and there is nothing you could have done differently, except on one certain date on ??/??/??, run, run like hell, just get in the car flat tire and all and get everyone to safety."

Don't let the focus of success blind you to your joy. Look up once in awhile and you will see that your joy is there in the perifrials. Someone is chearing you on encouraging you, caring for you. Don't let them get too far out of your vision. Include your family, friends in your struggles don't try and go it alone.

And never be so proud that you stop looking for advise. Help will come from obscure places from the place your not looking. Help come from the perifrial waving their arms trying to get your attention. Be focused and you can achive great thing but look around once in awhile to enjoy what you already have.

Seek wisdom from those with experience. Be dicherning of thiose who are there to distract. Be bold to walkway from a sure thing, be humble to give credit where credit is due.

Take lots of pictures

reply to post by Honestabe28


figure out what you really, really want to do. don't bother with school or anything else like that until you figure it out. when you know what you want to do, go after it and work every day for it.

a lot of times relationships require less, not more.

yoga is your friend. eat a healthy diet and exercise. its way easier to keep it up, than to fix it later, and your life will be better for it.

s***** days and weeks happen. let it roll.

reply to post by Honestabe28


My only advice to you would be this:

There is a campaign going around for a while called "it gets better".

Well, it doesn't. It doesn't get better.

YOU get better. You grow. You start reacting better to situations. Your tastes and preferences change. You, my friend are the only thing that gets better.

Don't sit around waiting for the change to happen in areas that you can't control. Make the change in yourself and f*** everything else.

cody599
What a great thread

My advice to a younger Cody

choose your friends well and laugh often.

Be true to yourself

These two things.

You'll know the good people from the bad by whether they build you up or tear you down. And, if you are true to yourself, you won't have many regrets, even when you screw up, and you will screw up. Mistakes are part of life, and this was a hard one for me - you have to let it go. What's done is done, and all you got is today.

Oh, and one of the most important things - don't get in your own way.

I wouldn't know what to suggest for your present era. It's so different now

If I approach it how you suggested, by going back to my old self, it would be every time somebody gave advice I didn't listen. I look back and think they were right, warning me. They knew better. Older people are generally wiser, because of their own mistakes in life.
Always follow your instincts or intuition, it's rarely wrong. That's your inner guide right there.

Great advice in this topic!

I just turned 27 and I wish I had those years ago. I had some setbacks in my life and, difficulties, panic attacks, high depression and dysfunctional family, all that led me to waste four years. And I know it is an important part of life. I feel much more mature and ready for life now, and I have to, because I'll have to start from scratch.

You know why all that happened in my life? I was afraid. Really. Of not being up to others expectations, and not standing for my feelings to please others. It is a waste of time and will make you miserable to the point where you question what you really like -- when that should be our base and strongest conviction! (when do we lose it?)

I just told you all that to support this main advice: DON'T BE AFRAID. My only fear now is getting in my 70s feeling regretful for what I missed. I already do and feel ashamed of myself. I've been through a lot, but is better to lose something early and have time to fix it. Then, my second advice: LEARN. You'll have to experience some things to understand. Happens to everyone. Some GOOD things just come with age: don't be afraid of getting older.

Now, being "undepressed" and sure of myself for the first time in my life, I really wanna LIVE: have friends, travel, read and write. Have a serious job and work a lot. I don't wanna wait for life to happen, I wanna make it happen.

My best advice is to develop a relationship with God, the Creator. I can't imagine facing the world today without Him. Humbly ask for discernment and wisdom.

Use your 20's to build your reputation, not tear it down. Earn respect, credentials, friendships, mentors, work experience, volunteer experience, etc. The more you accomplish earlier in life, the better you set yourself up for a more comfortable future.

The earlier you start to save money, the better. Learn about the time value of money, the power (good and bad) of interest rates, and about diversifying your investments. Keep track of your debt. Pay off all credit cards every month and never pay interest or late fees. Build your credit score. Learn to manage your taxes (the biggest expense over your lifetime).

Spend money wisely, when it must be spent. Compare prices, and alternatives, list pros & cons - especially for big ticket items, including education. Do your research. Buy only what you need.

Be self-disciplined in your actions, spending, saving, planning, eating, exercise, etc.

Have respect for yourself.

Write down your goals. Refer to them regularly and adjust them when necessary.

Don't drive while texting, high, drunk, buzzed, distracted. Stay away from illegal drugs....and legal ones.

Learn about nutrition and alternative medicine to stay healthy.

Chose your friends wisely. Identify people you respect as role models for different areas of your life.

READ. You can learn anything from a book.

Appreciate what your parents have done for you and how much they still want to be a part of your life.

Be very careful when signing contracts and taking loans. Get advice from people who care about you and have some insight in the subject at hand. Be able to spot a conflict of interest (in yourself and others) and the consequences.

Love can be blind. Take off the blinders and make sure your 'love' brings out the best in you and has life goals that mesh well with yours. Avoid drama.

Wait to get pregnant until you and your spouse can afford it....and after your careers are well underway. Don't get pregnant and have children out of wedlock...it's not fair to them. Statistically, they will fall behind the success rates of children in families. If you find yourself pregnant and unwed, don't do anything you'll regret for the rest of your life. Do the right thing.

Don't marry too early. Recommend late 20's at the earliest. Once married, work to keep your marriage together. Forgive and don't expect perfection. Communicate. Take responsibility for problems. Know that having children will test any marriage, and a there will be rough spots. Find constructive ways to deal with that. Share the household duties. Clean up after yourself so no one is made to feel like your maid/janitor. Work on common goals.

Know that there are people who don't even know you that are praying for you and your generation.

Life's hard: Get you a really good helmit. Life, simply put, is what you make it into. If you want it to be trying & hard...it will. You want it to be rewarding & fullfilling...it will. Decide if you want to make your own path thru the woods of life or follow anothers path. Your own path will be hard and trying. But the reward for it is outstanding. Become YOU before anything else. Find out who YOU are. The rest will fall into place quite well.

I'm 35 now...still feel 20. As of the last couple years I can say I'm mostly happy. I make $80k/yr...over $150k/yr household. I live comfortably, but money isn't everything to happiness. I was a dreamer at 20...big time. I was shooting too high, which faced me with goals I simply wasn't ambitious enough to achieve. I'll break down my story a bit and hopefully you can learn from my 'rights' and my 'wrongs'.

I did OK in High School, but got senior fever...almost didn't graduate. This killed my chance to get into the college I wanted (I wanted to be a car designer). Instead I went to Jr. College in hopes I'd find a new direction. I really wasted time there. I went to work for my father at the age of 23 (something I swore I'd never do). He had a small business, that seemed like a lot of work for a little payback. I gave it a chance, thinking at least the experience could help me. Luckily I became a big asset to the company. I excelled in Engineering...something I must have inherited from my father. The company became more successful every year, in part due to my advancing our designs and improving efficiency. It turns out I'm really good at this. I only wished I'd not wasted time at Jr. College and started working right out of HS.

That's all fine and dandy that I got lucky with a job that was handed to me. I make decent money, but that doesn't mean I don't have my regrets. I WISH I had not fooled around in HS. I WISH I had gone to the school I dreamed of. I would feel so much better about myself following my dream. The money helps, and now my complete family depends on me so I have no choice to continue what I do.

I made the mistake of marrying a girl I only knew for 1-1/2 years at the age of 25. It turned ugly quickly. She was an abusive alcoholic. My uncle died around the same time and we were very close. I got divorced. I tried some drugs. I had sex with lots of women, but I could not find peace. I am not religious and did not seek counseling. Again, I got lucky and someone saved me. I'm engaged to the girl who found me in that state. We've been together 5 years and we have a baby boy about to be born any day now.

The biggest thing I've learned over these years is HOLY # time goes by very, very fast. I've been at the family company for 13 years now and it still feels like only a year to me. Time goes by, I look in the mirror and that's the only way I can see a change. I miss the young days, but appreciate what I have now. I've changed since my 20's. Reality will do that to you.

So my advice?

I say, focus on either 2 things. Get a degree, or start working at a company you can move up in right out of high school. Don't waste time because it goes by too fast. Friends are important for your emotional sake, but don't put them before your career. Most of your friends right now will not be around once you're over 30, and the ones who are you'll hardly talk to. With jobs and kids and bills and politics and family...it's hard to make the time for friends.

Don't let a woman's beauty blind you. Marry a sweet girl. If she's pretty, then that's just a bonus. You want someone faithful. The same goes for the 20 year old girls out there. Have your fun when you're young and appreciate it. Realize you only get one time to have this.

Love your parents (if they're around). They went through a lot of work to get you here. Family is extremely important as you get older so don't burn any bridges.

I want to quote Darkblade71 for my ending here as this is GREAT advice when it comes to work ethics. I completely agree with what he says here and I believe it's helped me in my success and the success of my Fiance.

Darkblade71
I think the most valuable advice I can give you when it comes to work is this:

ALWAYS take pride in your job, no matter how crappy it is. Do it to the best of your ability.
Do the jobs with your employers that no one else wants to do, it is a fast track to better wages
and supervisory/management positions.

Never tell someone you don't know the answer, tell them you can find out or send them to someone who can, but never say you don't know.

Never say "It's not my job"

If you have the opportunity, do your job, and then everyone else's job if they are not done yet.

You can be fast and efficient, but work on fast first.

Always remember, the day/shift does end eventually,no matter how stressful it can get in whatever you do, always keep in mind that it will be over soon.

Im 27 1/2... so i was recently there...


This is what i would tell myself if i can go back in time.

*Focus more on school.

*Less on girlfriends and relationships, these can wait until you finish you degree/diploma/certificates.***

*Don't drink and drive even if it seems you are "fine".

*Start getting experience in the field you are going to work, be it volunteer or part time.

*Peer pressure is still around, consequences can be devastating(pregnancies/disease/jail), compared to when you were 16.

*Remember you are 18+. as in.. an adult according to judicial system.

*If you have older siblings ask them for advice.

*Get a used car, not brand new.

*save money for stuff, get rid of your tuition loan if you have any.



***Girls you will meet will be better if you have good education, early 20's most girls imo are too superficial and immature.. too much into fashion industry that they will bury $3,000 on a handbag. A smart one would not do that.

reply to post by Honestabe28


Live life to the fullest.

Regret sucks. Don't stop yourself from doing things you know you could do.

Don't stop learning.

Listen to others.

Work on bettering yourself.

Best advice I can give to you is

1) don't use banks or money. Use barter and other forms of trade like electronic currency (bitcoin) but only if they are not connected to the worlds banking system.

I do it and I have a house, car and nice things all paid for. I acquire and use very little cash for these who will not trade or barter.

2a) don't believe anything that come out of the mouth of any politician. 2b) don't be a republican or a democrat - they are both controlled by powers that seek to use them for corporate interest and not the interest of We The people. 2c) Never vote for the lesser of two evils - you'll get an evil bastard you don't want anyway and you will be partly to blame. Show your vote counts the most by Not voting - unless you really have a candidate you can trust and have a good track record like Ron Paul.

My advice to anyone who is in their 20's

Before anything , you need to have a trade. That being said, pick a trade that's everyone needs. Don't pick a trade that has down times like building or carpentry. Choose something everyone needs like plumbing, electrician,or even someone who can fix computer glitches, a chef even. Make yourself the very best. An expert in your chosen trade. Then you will always be able to feed yourself . Be willing to spend time enough to be able to teach your trade to others(secret:if you can teach it to others it makes you more the expert)

After you have a trade get the education others claim you need if you are just dying to spend the time and money for it. Remember, there is a lot of over- educated people out there without jobs, no trade ,nothing for addition to resumes and still don't have a clue that it takes years of toil to become the CEO. In other words don't be arrogant.

Keep your bills paid. Your rents low. Your expenses down . Learn to live lean. Don't tell your buddies what you have or don't have.keep your credit clear and to yourself. Look as though you are the average working stiff. Be willing to get up at 4am and retire at 10 pm if that's what it takes.Keep your head down and don't draw lots of attention to yourself and don't complain to anyone.
Do all these things I've suggested but in private enjoy the fruits of your labors with family; generosity starts at home not outside the home. If you choose to be generous to others do it anonymously.
Choose a mate that is willing to cooperate in your ventures.Do not choose a mate that spends more money than you do .
Don't go out to eat everyday. Watch Entertainment at home but choose the best. Remember, you treat yourself right by enjoying the fruits of your labors. Only marry once;try to stay married forever. Divorce is expensive and painful . Very expensive.
Be humble, thankful for what you know and have and always have a kind word.

Save your money and take care of your teeth. Also, get a prenup. Or stay single, lol.

My advice. Go back to your hunter-gatherer roots in some things. Love, justice, trust and all those good words are just ideas. What is real are predators. Always be aware of the seen and unseen. Do your bad habits in privacy and away from the other predators. If they have information about you, and they want something you have, they will use that info against you. Even blood relatives. You will find that your "circle of trust" will be very small when you weed out the predators.

As a 20/yo you are smart enough to ask, and young enough to act. I have lived my life with no regrets. I am now 50. I did the things I wanted to do and failed at many. But I wouldn't trade my experiences for anything. So, if I could go back in time and tell my younger self something, what would it be?

Follow your dreams.
Work for YOU!
Find land and be self sufficient to the best of your ability.
Owe no one, no debt. Pay cash for everything.
Realize that commercials and advertising do one thing...make you feel like less of a person if you don't buy their product.
Don't follow the pack, lead it.
Find your soul mate, don't rush it.
College is for suckers, and makes you a slave to the machine.
Do not watch TV.
Learn trades and how to make things like soap, furniture, candles, lard, etc.

Those are the main points. They are also the points I teach my boys. My 14/yo is now embarking on starting his first business venture. They know how I live my life, and so does my wife. I refuse to die uttering the words I wish I had done or tried...

But most of all, be yourself. Only you know what makes you happy. Enjoy life and do the things that make you happy. In this world of negativity it is easy to fall into a pattern of being paranoid and helpless. You are only as helpless as you let society tell you that you are.