reply to post by Honestabe28
There's no real structure to what I'm writing here… just thoughts as they come to mind, so hopefully it makes some sense.
Enjoy being young. Really enjoy it and don't apologize for it to anyone. Those who think you should, are those you don't want around you anyway.
Parents. Gone before you know it… never loose touch or let the days turn to weeks turn to months between calls. A parent is always wondering what
their child is doing and how they are, at least once every day until the day they die. When you're a parent, you'll understand this. Often this is
only learnt when it's too late… believe me.
Learn to listen.
Listen to people who, for whoever reason, you find interesting. They've clearly got something to tell you and something you need to hear.
When appropriate, always ask questions. The wiser folk out there are always more than happy to answer and impart information and 'learned
experiences' and will give you the time you require… if of course the question is the right one.
Be skeptical of those who insist on answering before you've actually asked the question. Not only do they have very little to say of any use or
value… they're normally overwhelmingly f**king boring as well!
Party. Hard. Find your boundaries though, your limitations and have fun. How much can you know about yourself unless you've spent some time #ing
about in your own head.
Keep it recreational and where it belongs. Boundaries. First sign of an issue or problem.. walk away. Stay away. When you're cool.. step back on your
terms. Or not. Boundaries.
Listen to music. Good music. It's your own person sound track to your life. Just imagine how painful looking back will be if you listened to Katy
Perry, Beyonce or Nicky Minaj
Travel. Travel. Travel. Experience firsthand what its like to suddenly understand that you're culture's history only spans a period slightly longer
than 350 years. Feel what its like to walk on paving stones 1500 years old or more.. buildings the same age… being surrounded on all sides not just
by works from the Masters of the Renaissance, but their teaches and mentors as well. Dine with families whose lineages date back to the time of
Christ. There's no better way to understand another culture, empathize with other people of different histories, beliefs or skin colors than to live
and exist amongst them. I've meet very very few racially intolerant or ignorant hate-mongers who have traveled extensively. To have an opinion on
this world and those who live in it.. and yet to have not traveled further afield than your national boarders, at the very most, is like a trust fund
child trying to sing in a blues band. Destined for the trash heap of irrelevance.
Spend some time in places like Goa or Ibiza; on a dance floor somewhere with 20,000 people in the same friendly, open and fun-loving state of mind.
Experiencing a wall of sound that's thundering out of a 100K sound system, is something indescribable and yet essential to every one's soul at least
once in their life I believe. Music designed as much for the 'occasion' as it is for the hedonistic indulgences that accompanying it… and it all
makes perfect sense. Such a huge and beautifully constructed sound, that right through even fibre of your being is something very deeply tribal in its
nature. (God I miss those days!! haha Good times indeed). Sadly, others profess the virtues of conformity and 'paying your dues' in some soulless,
life-sapping office for the duration of your youth. I totally disagree.
They fail to understand or comprehend the enormous influence and experiential effect the above outlined 'past times' can have on the soul. I have my
own theories on why they always seem to be in such a hurry to frown upon such fun-filled proclivities with their contrived offense and ignorant
distain. They don't seem to grasp the often overlooked fact that they slaved for all those hours, weeks, years for a wage that barely covered their
cost of living (such as it was!) and for experience they'll never use, need or be sought after for in the future… and then wonder why they're
Study. Higher Education and Learning… Hell Yes! Without question or pause… and do it as soon as you can, while you're brain is still used to the
process and discipline of learning in that environment… because trust me, you for get how to study after a while. Get it out of the way and behind
you by 23/24… then immediately, up and get the f*k out of dodge and travel. Go nuts. It's the only time to do it, from life learning perspective.
Being relocated for a job isn't the same thing. Relocating overseas with a new bride doesn't either. And doing it with kids is just an exercise in
self delusion… plus you'll murder them brutally by the end of the second week.
But seriously… I'm 44. I own an advertising agency in NZ with a business partner; We're successful. We're still here after 10 years so that says
it all really; but I employ anywhere upwards of 35-40 people or more at any one time. If I have two CV's on my desk, both with the exact same
qualifications and work experience, the deciding factor is always in favour of the person who's traveled extensively in their youth, while they were
single. Every time.
Learn from your relationships… love, life or otherwise. The good are as valuable as the bad. How can you know the difference if you haven't
experienced them both? How can you appreciate the good ones, if you've noting to compare it to? This leads to complacency….
… and complacency, above all other things, is the killer of life well lived.
(Just to clarify… the 'hard partying' should really only be confined to the years between 24-30 max! And for those out there who think the only
way to a 'successful ' or fulfilling, happy 'life' is to conform to the way our parents did it and their parents before them did too; with no room
for fun, adventure, exploring the world and making some mistakes while your still young enough to recover and learn from them… I (as have most of my
close friends) done absolutely fine… successful careers or businesses, married with beautiful kids, time to enjoy them and life as well…. though
very much dialed back from those early days. They were a phase, a fun period of time, but very much a part of who we are now as anything else. Hope