I'm sorry, but I'm not your father.

I had a hard time sleeping last night, this situation has my emotions pegged at the red line. So I sat and went thru pictures. I found a photo of myself & his mom & dad arm in arm after a ball game...we must have won because we all are a smiling. Today I plan on trying to get my hands on some film footage of our old ballgames..I hope I can at least get a video made or somthing, so he can see his dad while he was alive. The subject of adoption has came up on here. If that test had came back with me being his father...I would not hesitate for one damn second. I would ask him first if he wanted to use the family name or no. That would be his decision. I would not hesitate to place my name on his birth certificate.

I found several pics of his mom at my house... In one pic she's sitting at the dinner table with my entire family. Found one of me at their house, again eating dinner. I have decided, if that family wants nothing to do with him...then I will ask If I can become a bigger part of his life.....(selfish reasons...another grand-daughter to spoil). I feel as if my kids and he will hit it off well. They too were raised by a single parent..me. So they have stories to swap. Thanks ATS family, I plan on doing a thread after the holidays and let everyone know just how it shakes out. Peace OYM1262

reply to post by openyourmind1262

This is what this season is about, You have touched on the lost essence of what this time of year is about. As a man lacked his father growing up, I am sure that you have given this young man a holiday that his heart or mind will not soon forget. I tip my hat to you sir, and wish you merry christmas!

I'm only hitting 23 next month but let me tell you, if everything you say is true (and I have no reason to doubt) then you must be one of the best persons I've ever "known". Thanks for the story and for being 1 in a million.

JameSimon
I'm only hitting 23 next month but let me tell you, if everything you say is true (and I have no reason to doubt) then you must be one of the best persons I've ever "known". Thanks for the story and for being 1 in a million.

Broaden your horizons. Not that OYM isn't a good man....but there are many good men out there. Make sure you recognize them when you come across them, and honor them by living your life like a good man should.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


Good men abound all around us....it's weighing thru the" bad" that lead us to beleive good men don't exist. I am simply imparting the lessons my parents instilled in me years ago. They are the ones who take the credit for how I conduct my life. Compassion, respect , humility, those three things will get a good man as far as he needs to go..and then some. There's a good man right above this post..wearing a gorilla suit dragging A bag of toys around...see their not that hard to find.

reply to post by JameSimon


There's men like me all around you....keep searching you'll find them. When you do find a good man, do as BFFT say's recognise them and then live your life as a good man. If my parents were still alive....I'm sure the young man in my post would be a part of their lives... related or not.

reply to post by openyourmind1262


That is a very interesting story. I think your response is morally impeccable and admirable. Well done sir.

Can not tell you how much I admire and respect you.

I had my ex husband's (husband at the time) out of wedlock son show up with my ex still trying to claim he wasn't his. Finally met him but he still rejected, not that he was not his but not wanting to admit to family that he had had a son with someone else while still married to his first ex wife. Eventually after much tears from me (my Dad was never around and the importance was not lost on me) a relationship was developed. Unfortunately we both came to not like the young man due to his dishonesty. Could my ex have changed it when he found out about him at a much younger age...who knows.

One word of caution from experience. It is difficult to build a bond with nothing in common except his mom and dad. Hopefully, that will be enough since he has no one else. About 20 years ago I found some siblings that were given up for adoption. I have been able to keep in touch with one, but the relationship and family history just never developed. It is actually something of a burden tho I would never regret having found them. I keep up on the periphery.

You knew the girl back in the day and she got pregnant, it happens to a lot of men, myself included, an old girlfriend of mine got upduff and everyone thought I was the father, turns out I wasn't.
But you sir have shown you have a fathers heart, and went out of your way to help a young man looking for his heritage, well done as you weren't related by anything other than association to his mother.
Most people would run a mile if someone approached them asking if they are their kin.
Fair do's to you .

I find your story very touching and am happy that this young man has you in his life - even if you are not his father it definitely sounds like his life will be all the richer.

reply to post by openyourmind1262


Great story! Thank you for sharing!

I grow up with friend who knew who was his father, but first time he met him was when he was 16-17. At the same time he met whole new family of 3 brothers and 2 sisters. They took him as one of them, even he was ethnically very different. Glad some people don't worry about race and ethnicity... wish we are all like that.

S & F

reply to post by openyourmind1262


This kind of story you don`t hear everyday. I`m glad to hear it turned out this way. I too would be proud and honoured to shake your hand, Sir.

We need more people like yourself in this world. Wish you and your now extended family a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year