Women and ET's

They do not mix. On the tenth date I would want to ask her about her thoughts on the subject. This is after 9 other places, all Dutch. I was thinking museums, restaurants of different cultures, then the planetarium, and other activities. So far the highlight is horseriding near the Star Waiters, with the Planetron. Only horses don't want me to ride on their back but I can walk along. It may sound strange to horse riders but I would rather have a long leash. I would want to talk with her about my countries' history, from the early settlers, like Archeon a museum. Also the Eise Eisinga museum. But also lasertag. In between there is the Efteling, all locations I've been in my life but at some point near the 10th date I would have to tell her about my spiritual beliefs and I'm not sure yet how to tell her. I can't take her on a date to a cemetary ofcourse, that would be inappropriate and I can't think of any movies yet. And then I would have to tell her how I don't want her to think I am interested in alien spirits. But I don't want to appear anti alien at the same time, it should be irrelevant but that is why I could not mention it to her. I could try and talk about claims and how I believe they are untrue but that would not be fair to whoever thought of it.

There is the zoo in there with marine life which may appear alien to her, a city girl used to cats and dogs, at best some exotic fish. But I have doubts about a few places where they project Gods on space or the stars. I know this may sound silly but I would want to talk with her about these things but not as if I would be interested or give off any signals like I would be with some weird cult worshipping some alien. The main problem is I guess how to make sure she never once during the dates believes there is actual alien life walking about the planet. So what should I not do or take her to, or avoid? I was thinking I would joke at the telescope watching the stars I would be zooming in on a exotic flower on a remote planet, one of them. But I wouldn't joke about seeing something which would be looking back at me, that would be turn off I assume.

Any input would be welcome! I have also looked at locations abroad for the next 10 holidays where I would take her on similar locations, all chronologically. Like the castles of my country, then some castles in Germany, castles in Belgium, old churches and monuments from centuries ago. Festivals would be out of the question I get that part. And any science fiction movies would also not be the best choice.

Somehow I would want to make sure my potential date will never believe anything ET if it would ever lead to marriage. I would want to make myself believe she will be safe in spirit and only think of communicating with Earth based spirits if she chooses to. But never begin with distinguishing human spirits from Earth with something no one can have had contact with. Lateron in the relationship I would want to talk all about Star Trek philoshophy and Transformers but making sure it was all because of males' fantasies, no actual contacts with exciting her mind beyond her boundaries with the wrong kind of stimuli.

So what would be the average waiting time to bring up the subject? Would it be a few dates or maybe after 10 months or 10 years? What do women think of this of different cultures, since there are a lot in my country, not suggesting I have options yet. Also I'm mentally recovering from overexposure to these subjects I guess that's why I'm extra careful I wouldn't mess up with her by giving any of the wrong signals and checking for triggers to avoid on dates.

It's not about what you want.
It will be about what she wants.

Relax, stop worrying about the future.
Give her your full attention -
Listen listen listen.

If you look at any successful couple, they will think very differently on many important subjects. It really doesn't matter.
What matters is how you make her feel.

mistersmith.

reply to post by Dragonfly79


That was a lot of words which seemed a bit jumbled but I believe I have the jist of it.

If you have a particular belief and want to make sure your potential mate is of similar or like mind then talk about it first.

My husband and I did speak on religion first and foremost because it was what was important to us. If your beliefs are important to you and you believe that it could affect compatibility then just speak on it... and the sooner the better. Just be upfront and honest.

When starting a new relationship you are worried about how she/he will perceive you and whether or not they will reject you, fear of rejection is a big concern actually... but in the end, just hold your breath and take that chance, because it is also the only way to actually find what you are looking for.

reply to post by mistersmith


That is true, my husband and I have very different beliefs. But... it is the most beautiful relationship.. its all about respecting the others thoughts and beliefs, and loving each other.

reply to post by Dragonfly79


are you suggesting that your partner is 'alien' to you?

I read it but as one of the above posters already stated...quite a lot of writing and a bit jumbled up so I am a bit unsure as to what you are saying.

...or that Women are aliens?

mistersmith
It's not about what you want.
It will be about what she wants.

Relax, stop worrying about the future.
Give her your full attention -
Listen listen listen.

If you look at any successful couple, they will think very differently on many important subjects. It really doesn't matter.
What matters is how you make her feel.

mistersmith.

I already got that but I can't be her telephone forever. I was thinking of discussing the ISS app over coffee at a coffeeshop and surprise her when the ISS passes over and ask her reaction. I don't want to make her feelings, she can do that herself without a doubt. Not right away ofcourse, such things are not made in an instant but take time and I could be the patient guy.

The idea of listening three times almost sounds like that religion. Such women want men to become like this:

It's like a phallic symbol and you can talk all day to it. Edgy but true, a bit too much on the feminin side. Personally I'd rather go gaming with her and she can talk all day to my main, even when I or she would be away from home. All secure and I would explain everything about her tablet and how it's nearly impossible to hack a linux os, I'd explain her everything she would need to know.

Thurisaz
reply to post by Dragonfly79

 

are you suggesting that your partner is 'alien' to you?

Yeah funny but no, quite human even though I can never see her as she sees herself, the same goes for me. I just meant all the stuff about extra terrestrials and how not to talk about it towards women or even discuss it all. Although alien could also be seen as something foreign, not the same or from another place, like the song an Englishman in New York.

I read it but as one of the above posters already stated...quite a lot of writing and a bit jumbled up so I am a bit unsure as to what you are saying.

...or that Women are aliens?

The joke is gone, I don't get what you are saying anymore
I just wanted to know how to get past the dating part when she might ask about extra terrestrial life, whether or not aliens from other planets created us or not, did life emerge from a meteorite or was it in there in one of the masses that is described in the big bang theory, how to discuss that with women. I can talk all day about the spirits and every little detail of the planet, just not any other.

I looked at Christianity, about how the Pope made that statement a while ago after thousands of years. I was working on some short stories about how people thought and have some pages on the internet about related information. Such as a painting from a monastery depicting two people in the sky but with the guy obviously twisting his neck in such a way it wouldn't work. Later I could take her to the monastery so she can see for herself.

OpinionatedB
reply to post by Dragonfly79

 

That was a lot of words which seemed a bit jumbled but I believe I have the jist of it.

If you have a particular belief and want to make sure your potential mate is of similar or like mind then talk about it first.

Yes that is the main subject, but should a belief be discussed on the first date. Since I have no particular but a set of beliefs I would have to come up with several yes/no questions, which might work on speeddating but I don't know how to ask without leading her on or almost forcing her to make a deciscion. And I don't want to appear creepy halfway during the "interrogation"

and the sooner the better. Just be upfront and honest.

Faith is important to me too, so could I ask her a question if she would accept not thinking about alien life ever as a demand or would it be inappropriate. Or should I just tell her there's no evidence whatsoever and she may never take anyone seriously claiming otherwise? I would have no problem with her choices in reading or talking to people about it, as long as she never begins about it herself ever, anywhere. That is one of the most important things I believe in.

As for Christianity which is the most dominant faith, I haven't decided but I might if she would demand it. I might try to joke about it while playing a lockpicking game on my tablet over coffee, about my hobby/studies in lockpicking are at so I could try to lockpick the gates and try to fool whoever would be there. How I would meticulously keep on trying forever, but not as if I could sense anything about the lock and someday I could time the sounds from the app in the discussion

When starting a new relationship you are worried about how she/he will perceive you and whether or not they will reject you, fear of rejection is a big concern actually... but in the end, just hold your breath and take that chance, because it is also the only way to actually find what you are looking for.

I am not very worried about if she would reject me, I can add another one to my list of failed attempts. I'm very aware of breathing, after years of not paying enough attention. I get the latter I think, don't tease a woman when she gives one chance and know when the chance is gone.

reply to post by Dragonfly79



Yes it is something that can be discussed on a first date. But there is a methodology you should use... it should never ever seem to her mind as if you are "interrogating" her.

Let me give you an example of a topic starter:

While making small talk, perhaps during a short lull in the conversation, say to her:

" I read something on the internet about people believing in alien's" and pause break here, and see what she says... if she says oh... you must add a little more to the story, but try and do this without interjecting your own opinion, because you want an honest response of what opinion she holds.

If you feel you cannot live with her after seeing what manner she responds, you can just not make a second date, saving yourself time and money.


Now, if I may advice you here, you need someone... for the best possible relationship... that you like. With whom you share some commonalities, not someone you simply order around, especially when it comes to what your potential significant other, thinks.

People are different, and if you want a wife and not a slave, then you must allow for her to think for herself. If you want a slave, just purchase one.

As people grow, they learn about different topics that may or may not interest them, and form their opinion from usually more than one source. Now, an intelligent man, will allow himself to be a source, without being too overwhelming.

If I may advice once more, perhaps you would be very compatible with an intelligent woman who has a goodly amount of common sense, then she will be more likely to be grounded about such things as alien life and other topics as she might encounter them, and also be one to enjoy the more technical conversations with.

reply to post by Dragonfly79


I think you are over complicating matters just a little bit. Perfectly understandable of course, but worth addressing.

What you believe about the existence of aliens should not be a deal breaker. If it is, then perhaps you ought to look for someone a little more open minded, and less rigid. The one thing I know for sure, is that you should be honest about who you are, what motivates you, what makes you think, what makes you tick, and you should expect the same from anyone you intend to date. If you are not getting that, or your honesty causes issues between you, then it is not to be, sad though it is to say!

reply to post by Dragonfly79

After struggling through your Alien Defeated" thread I just kind of assumed you meant yourself as the ET.

guess I'm confused.

reply to post by Dragonfly79


Am I correct, you do not want a potential partner that even slightly entertains the idea of alien life? Ever? People change, even if she felt that way now, 10 years from now she may feel differently.
This seems to be a big deal to you, so I would suggest trying find an answer earlier rather than later.

OpinionatedB
reply to post by Dragonfly79

 

Yes it is something that can be discussed on a first date. But there is a methodology you should use... it should never ever seem to her mind as if you are "interrogating" her.

But I can't appear as if I have planned every move, then I would become the possibly stalking creep or not? So I figured if I would interrogate her and let her know at least I would be honest and upfront and I could use the excuse of wanting to know if she can become a good mother. If it turns out we are not compatible, at least she would have the test, I would welcome it if she would test me for father qualities.

Let me give you an example of a topic starter:

While making small talk, perhaps during a short lull in the conversation, say to her:

" I read something on the internet about people believing in alien's" and pause break here, and see what she says... if she says oh... you must add a little more to the story, but try and do this without interjecting your own opinion, because you want an honest response of what opinion she holds.

If you feel you cannot live with her after seeing what manner she responds, you can just not make a second date, saving yourself time and money.

I can live with anybody, I can make something for her lesser qualities in my mind. But she might also need to but without believing for example other planets civilizations could be better than our own, or that they could be able to know she thinks that about them. So she should also make something in her mind to deal with me but without me telling her what it is about.

Now, if I may advice you here, you need someone... for the best possible relationship... that you like. With whom you share some commonalities, not someone you simply order around, especially when it comes to what your potential significant other, thinks.

No arguments, what was I thinking. I was hoping she could use the mindcontrol on herself to learn how to order herself around, but not let others be able to order her to do things against her will and she could teach her daughters this, which is better than a male ever could.

People are different, and if you want a wife and not a slave, then you must allow for her to think for herself. If you want a slave, just purchase one.

I wouldn't know where they are puchased. I have started my own company though and hope one day to start with providing a job for her, then she would become my wage slave haha but it's a long shot.

As people grow, they learn about different topics that may or may not interest them, and form their opinion from usually more than one source. Now, an intelligent man, will allow himself to be a source, without being too overwhelming.

I would want her and me to become wise men and women. But she should be her own source and then we can compare questions and answers about anything, taking turns in who decides which subject and when it is talked about enough, leaving something to get back to later.

If I may advice once more, perhaps you would be very compatible with an intelligent woman who has a goodly amount of common sense, then she will be more likely to be grounded about such things as alien life and other topics as she might encounter them, and also be one to enjoy the more technical conversations with.

Actually I enjoy being alone as well and she should too, so I was thinking I would be working on the technical side at those times. If it were a car I would want to work on it in secret and surprise her one day by taking her out on the first ride and I wouldn't want to talk about the technical things either. In fact, maybe I should be with a country girl who doesn't know much about technical things at all, then I could surprise her with a self driving car haha but my luck is she either awaits me to contact her telepathically or some guy is going to honk his horn in front of my place.

TrueBrit
reply to post by Dragonfly79

 

I think you are over complicating matters just a little bit. Perfectly understandable of course, but worth addressing.

What you believe about the existence of aliens should not be a deal breaker. If it is, then perhaps you ought to look for someone a little more open minded, and less rigid. The one thing I know for sure, is that you should be honest about who you are, what motivates you, what makes you think, what makes you tick, and you should expect the same from anyone you intend to date. If you are not getting that, or your honesty causes issues between you, then it is not to be, sad though it is to say!

Thanks for that. The only thing I want to be clear on is that there is no alien life, no spirits from other planets which should ever be allowed in her mind. And if I say something which makes her doubt this then she should ask until it's clear I still believe there are no aliens and it's just a bunch of spirits who were fantasizing about the future too much. And she should also smoke with me, but not as much as I do. It's just like religion and which heaven to go to, if they are different places or it's too much a hassle to be able to visit then it shouldn't be, especially with space, there's no way anyone can reach another planet or life to verify if it really exists and those people chose to be there or follow some messiah.

Chamberf=6
reply to post by Dragonfly79

 

After struggling through your Alien Defeated" thread I just kind of assumed you meant yourself as the ET.

guess I'm confused.

No, it's meant to deal with the idea, the projection of ET's and with that how other people talk about it. For example how some people use it as bait to get something out of others, then when the person is deceived they are in between Earth realm and some ET's and it's almost impossible to think your self back to the 'normal' Earth story.

chelsdh
reply to post by Dragonfly79

 

Am I correct, you do not want a potential partner that even slightly entertains the idea of alien life? Ever? People change, even if she felt that way now, 10 years from now she may feel differently.
This seems to be a big deal to you, so I would suggest trying find an answer earlier rather than later.

That is the problem I have, I would want her to know about it so she can reject it, and safely explore it in her own mind as she wants. But I don't want to become her eternal guardian either, I would want her to be able to protect herself at all times so I know she is always safe.

At some time, she will have to compare life on Earth with life outside and then it becomes difficult since measurements might vary, some beings might be 30 some might be a million, when one rotation can mean thousands of years and it's 30 rotations old you never know who you might be dealing with and it's difficult to speak to someone without a prepared mind. Most importantly is the point system I could teach her, how money doesn't always mean someone is important nor possessions, a completely new way of thinking really for women in the west.

I have seen several women in the media who might fit the profile. There's the French girl who grew up in Africa. But also miss Kampusch who was isolated for years, she likes Star Trek just as I do. Not meaning she has to be in the news or famous but she would have to have qualities such as those women have, without me having to play the bad guy to her.