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Bizarre Bacon Boosts, Betters, Business

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posted on Apr, 3 2013 @ 09:48 PM
The Bacon and Drug Administration has approved this post subject to further testing. Some side effects have already been reported. They include:

Uncontrolled giggling.
Unpleasant mental images which have been controlled with liberal applications of Brain Bleach.
Sudden nausea.
Strong desire to buy certain identified products.

If you should experience any additional side effects, report them immediately.

Bacon lovers are probably familiar with J&D's Foods, a Seattle company. They have already brought us Bacon Mayonnaise, and the Bacon Coffin.

And just when you hoped America's bacon fad was dying out, the company is also releasing Bacon Sunscreen.

Why? According to the release, "science has shown us that 10 out of 10 people prefer the smell of Bacon to coconut, which makes this the most anticipated new product of the summer."
But all of those products are small potatoes, nothing revolutionary. I am only listing them to prepare you for their truly revolutionary product. J&D's Food

now has introduced Bacon Condoms that claims to "make your meat look like meat."

As an added bonus, each condom is coated with its very own J&D’s baconlube.

From it press release: "Truly the new standard of animal protein themed prophylactics Bacon Condoms are proudly Made in America of the highest quality latex and rigorously tested to help ensure the utmost reliability and safety for when you’re makin’ Bacon."

Marketing plans for the Middle-East have not been announced, but some resistance is expected.

THIS POST HAS BEEN PROVIDED AS A PUBLIC SERVICE. It has been designed to relieve the stresses of various other posts on Gun Control, North Korea, Obama, China, Israel, Atheism, etc. There is no reason for any arguments, or grossly inappropriate comments (unless they're funny, then U2U them to me).

With respect,

posted on Apr, 3 2013 @ 10:51 PM
reply to post by charles1952

Lmao, I honestly cannot think of anything more horrid - bacon smelling sun cream. Well hello sexy, I see you bring your own flies with you.


Mind you it will be funny to hear this on infowars as some twisted plan to make the zombies eat people who like to sit around in the sun all day.

Those guys are really tasty!

posted on Apr, 3 2013 @ 10:57 PM
reply to post by winofiend

Dear winofiend,

You are a delight. But you've only considered one possible plot. Isn't the NWO (or whoever, I forget) supposed to starve us into submission? Well, with enough "bacon" products we can be starved without realizing it. That way we won't put up any fuss as we collapse and die from malnutrition.

I am worried about what bacon product people will start chewing on in their hunger-induced delirium. (Brain bleach, nurse, STAT!)

With respect,

posted on Apr, 3 2013 @ 11:36 PM
Sssoooo conflicted.....

posted on Apr, 3 2013 @ 11:51 PM
Bacon flavored condoms???

do people chew on condoms?

ew..I don't get it..

LOL..i'm old I guess..

posted on Apr, 4 2013 @ 12:18 AM
I saw bacon flavored vodka at the liqueur store the other day. I poop you not.

posted on Apr, 4 2013 @ 01:37 AM
You just know someone is going to eat the sun screen.

Anyway for your bacontastic enjoyment.

The Bacon Chili Steakwich.

posted on Apr, 4 2013 @ 06:33 AM
reply to post by watchitburn

That looks soo nasty. Something like the Newfie down the road would leave in my yard. Yet, I can't stop thinking about how delicious it would taste.

posted on Apr, 12 2013 @ 07:01 AM
This is an April Fools Day bacon video that I found funny:
Scope Bacon Flavored Mouthwash
edit on 12-4-2013 by butcherguy because: (no reason given)

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