PROOF - A Disease that WILL affect all Mankind!

I just received this alarming letter from my brother!
He usually knows what is going on, but now I'm not so sure!

I'm scared about the implications of his letter, can anyone here shed light on what he means?

Is this contagious?

To my beloved family,

For some time now I have suspected that something was not right with me physically. For months I have been suffering from headaches, blurred vision, and depth perception problems. I have kept the symptoms to myself, not wanting to worry anyone, and I did really hope that they were due to lack of sleep or just working too many hours.

I had been convinced that there was a simple solution to my illness... If I could just make an adjustment here, a change there, more sleep, better eating, all of this would simply resolve itself. Unfortunately the headaches, blurred vision, and depth perception problems have grown worse until my co-workers finally convinced me that I should go see a doctor.

Well....today was that day.

After multiple tests on more than 6 different machines, they were able to determine the cause of my illness, and the prognosis...

I'm old and need bi-focals!

I know this news may be shocking and hard for some of you to accept, as it has been for me.
I can almost hear your cries... "He was so young!", "Why has this happened Lord?", or even... "I knew there was something wrong with him!"
These are all natural reactions to this type of devastating news, but rest assured... while you might think that I am, "knocking on death's door", I am a fighter! I will not let this slow me down! As so many of my newly found geriatric compadres before me have stated... "We will never give up! We will never surrrr................... can you please tell me when Matlock is on?"

With their spirit, and the hope of future generations, I will continue to watch my big screen TV, listen to books on tape, and occasionally drive on the sidewalk! I will still misplace the decimal and give $50 tips at the local restaurants, and I will always yield to that big "black thing" coming at me through the side mirror! (if you haven't seen it yet... it's really scary!)
And most importantly... I will never ask for directions! I know where the hell I'm going damn it!

Now that you know my grave illness, and have had a chance to digest the implications of my condition, please take heart with the comforting words of my dear friend... who, just this very evening, quoted a line from scripture.........."Blessed are the cheesemakers, for they will develop mirth." I'm not sure what that all means, but It sure sounded good.


Your Dad, Son, Brother, Uncle, and friend,
(name withheld)

Shouldn't this go in the jokes forum?
The letter doesn't sound serious...

wtf is this bs

.........."Blessed are the cheesemakers, for they will develop mirth."

reply to post by tvtexan


I think that line is from The Life of Brian, if memory serves me correctly. I wouldn't worry about him he's suffering from the realisation that he's getting old. While not contagious it does start the second the egg gets fertilised.

We will pray for you in this trying time.

Would have been much better in Creative Writing
or the Joke thread. Even as a joke the title is
misleading.

Originally posted by SilentKoala
Shouldn't this go in the jokes forum?
The letter doesn't sound serious...

Yeah I was thinking the same...me thinks the op is bull#ting.

Wouldn't be the first time and it certainly won't be the last.

Best be aware op,he may become a zombie

Eventually we're all going to grow old......

Originally posted by snowspirit
Eventually we're all going to grow old......

I'm not, I'm going to grow younger or die trying,.....no wait....

Originally posted by Hopeforeveryone

Originally posted by snowspirit
Eventually we're all going to grow old......

I'm not, I'm going to grow younger or die trying,.....no wait....

I've been trying to stop having birthdays, except everyone else keeps remembering them.

I refuse to remember my age, that'll stop it

reply to post by Hopeforeveryone


Damn good job sir!
I thought I had heard that before... now I have proof!

My brother will certainly hear of this discovery!

Lies, Lies, Lies, Ohhh the lies!

Originally posted by crazydaisy
Would have been much better in Creative Writing
or the Joke thread. Even as a joke the title is
misleading.

Thanks for your input.

Can you please show anyone where the actual citeria is for what YOU think is creative writing?

This was a letter from from brother!
Not Fake!

I think your avatar is fake!

reply to post by SilentKoala


This a letter that my brother wrote me.

I see the comical, and satirical aspects of what he wrote, if you can show me where to place that within ATS, I will gladly do it!

I talked with him tonight, and felt his humanity. I thought that the reality of growing old felt more like a true disease than a joke. But I guess some see it different.

Maybe we all live forever!

Originally posted by ThisIsNotReality
wtf is this bs

+1,000,000

THE most misleading title, and the "letter" wasn't funny or clever.

Originally posted by knightwhosaysnih

Originally posted by ThisIsNotReality
wtf is this bs

+1,000,000

THE most misleading title, and the "letter" wasn't funny or clever.

Your avatar suggests that you love Homer Simpson.

Does that make you a wanker?
I believe that there is a possibility that it might. You can tell us!

God save the Queen!
I mean... wait... queen means something different across the pond.
No offense....

What I meant to say is... what does Sir Elton John have to say about all of this!?

reply to post by nightstalker78


Why are you against me?

Are you anti-semetic?

My people have suffered at the hand's of people like you for generations!

NEVER AGAIN!

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