DO NOT TOUCH ME

I can't stand it when people move my shirt to the side on my back so they can read my tattoo!

It causes me to flip out! I dont know where people get the idea that it is ok to touch me and move my shirt to the side.

I had a lady at 7-11 do it recently and I got snippy with her and the guy behind me was like "oh relax, everyone is chill around here." I turned around and said "I'm chill til some stranger puts their hands on me." He didn't have much to say after that.

One day someone is gonna get an elbow when I turn around! If you want to read it, ask me! I will tell you what it says, just don't touch me!

reply to post by mblahnikluver

I dont know where people get the idea that it is ok to touch me and move my shirt to the side.

Personally, I would put that in the same category as touching a pregnant woman's belly.

It seems that some people are incapable of understanding that it is still inappropriate to touch a woman's belly, regardless of whether or not she is pregnant.

Same thing for you. If you didn't have a tat there, nobody would move your shirt just to 'have a look', because that would be inappropriate. It seems that some view the ink, as if it is an invitation to touch.

Originally posted by BrokenCircles
reply to post by 2manyquestions

 

Is it a normal habit of yours, to completely dismiss and refuse the fact that you have been proven wrong?


[color=9CFFF8]Normal is a matter of opinion, and nothing more. Just because an opinion is yours, that does not automatically make it a fact. It is still an opinion.

"Normal" is not a matter of opinion. It has a definition. The word means something specific. If normal meant whatever anyone assigned to it, what use would it be to define it in the first place? Maybe you're the one who simply refuses to face facts. Most people in this world don't feel repulsion to being touched, though they may feel discomfort. I've been hugged or kissed on the cheek by strangers and my reaction wasn't to go scrub my skin off in that spot, or make an angry post about it. There's nothing wrong with feeling uncomfortable or making a thread on the subject.... but when one of the posters refuses to understand that this behavior is not normal for most human beings, what do you want me to say? Like I said... this repulsion may be normal for YOUR behavior, but it is not normal for the majority of the world.

reply to post by 2manyquestions

"Normal" is not a matter of opinion.

That would be your opinion. Mine differs.

Maybe you're the one who simply refuses to face facts.
Most people in this world don't feel repulsion to being touched,

Which '[color=FFBD96]fact' would that be, that I am refusing to face?
Did I say that I am repulsed by touch?

Or are you referring to the '[color=FFBD96]fact' that you claim to know better than I do, what my own personal opinion is?

but when one of the posters refuses to understand that this behavior [color=A1FF96]is not normal for most human beings, what do you want me to say?

What do I want you to say? You just said it.

If it is "not normal for most," then obviously [color=A1FF96]it is normal for some.

Something may not be normal for you, but that doesn't mean that it cannot be normal for someone else. After all, [color=9CFFF8]normal is just a matter of opinion.

Originally posted by BrokenCircles
reply to post by 2manyquestions

 

"Normal" is not a matter of opinion.

That would be your opinion. Mine differs.

Maybe you're the one who simply refuses to face facts.
Most people in this world don't feel repulsion to being touched,

Which '[color=FFBD96]fact' would that be, that I am refusing to face?
Did I say that I am repulsed by touch?

Or are you referring to the '[color=FFBD96]fact' that you claim to know better than I do, what my own personal opinion is?

but when one of the posters refuses to understand that this behavior [color=A1FF96]is not normal for most human beings, what do you want me to say?

What do I want you to say? You just said it.

If it is "not normal for most," then obviously [color=A1FF96]it is normal for some.

Something may not be normal for you, but that doesn't mean that it cannot be normal for someone else. After all, [color=9CFFF8]normal is just a matter of opinion.

Arguing with you over what the word "normal" means seems pointless. Continuing this conversation is a waste of time, but here is my last attempt at showing you what the word "normal" means: Dictionary.com

1. conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.
2. serving to establish a standard.
3. Psychology.
a. approximately average in any psychological trait, as intelligence, personality, or emotional adjustment.
b. free from any mental disorder; sane.
4. Biology, Medicine/Medical.
a. free from any infection or other form of disease or malformation, or from experimental therapy or manipulation.
b. of natural occurrence.

Here is a question quote from me to the O.P.

Are you opposed to all physical contact with people whether you know them or not,.... or do you only object to this kind of behavior from strangers?

The OP replies to me with:

I'm like it with everyone. Unless I'm in a relationship with someone, I don't want them near me.

The OP is opposed to physical contact with all people except with the person they are dating.

Now...... the standard human response to physical contact from family, friends and acquaintances is not repulsion. Hugs, kisses on the cheek, these are all "normal" (meaning this behavior is practiced by most cultures around the world). To feel so repulsed by these actions that you would rather walk an hour in the rain and cold just to avoid it is not "standard", "normal" human behavior. This is not an insult to the OP. Some people have different types of phobia. Some are afraid of snakes, some are afraid of tight spaces, and the OP is afraid of being touched by anyone else other than a significant other. Since most of the human population is not afraid of tight spaces or afraid of being touched, the greater majority set the standard, therefore define what is a "normal" behavior for most humans. Now...if you get a group of people with Chiraptophobia (those afraid of physical contact), then for that small particular group it is 'normal' not to want to be touched. If you still don't understand what I'm getting at, I really can't clarify it for you any further.

reply to post by 2manyquestions


I can appreciate your point of view, but I do think you should re-read the OP and his follow up post on page 1.

While I could be wrong (in dire need of more coffee), I'm pretty sure he never said he was "repulsed by touch" - the way I see it, he's repulsed by certain strangers who take liberties in touching him.

It wasn't like his rant was about his mom or his sister...

So again, while I do agree with you that there's a normal level of discomfort opposed to outright repulsion, I think you're taking the point to the extreme and no one really meant that.


Just don't hug me, I'll slug you.



If you were addressing someone elses claim of repulsion, my apologies. I couldn't find it and thought it was more important to point out that both you and BrokenCircles exhibit some truth in your points.

Normal = Majority Rule
Majority Rule does not always = "right"

Originally posted by Forevever
reply to post by 2manyquestions

 

I can appreciate your point of view, but I do think you should re-read the OP and his follow up post on page 1.

While I could be wrong (in dire need of more coffee), I'm pretty sure he never said he was "repulsed by touch" - the way I see it, he's repulsed by certain strangers who take liberties in touching him.

It wasn't like his rant was about his mom or his sister...

In my response above yours I quoted the OP. The OP told me he didn't want anyone touching him (including family and friends), except a significant other.

So again, while I do agree with you that there's a normal level of discomfort opposed to outright repulsion, I think you're taking the point to the extreme and no one really meant that.


Just don't hug me, I'll slug you.



If you were addressing someone elses claim of repulsion, my apologies. I couldn't find it and thought it was more important to point out that both you and BrokenCircles exhibit some truth in your points.

Normal = Majority Rule
Majority Rule does not always = "right"

This whole "normal" argument started with the following reply to mine by a different poster:

reply to post by 2manyquestions

Since your reaction to physical contact is not what might be considered "normal"

Maybe it isn't "normal" to you, but it is a completely normal reaction, as far as I am concerned.

This poster continues to argue with me that it's perfectly "normal" for a person to not want to be touched by family, friends and strangers. All I'm trying to do is explain to this person that this fear or repulsion to being touched by others is not shared by most of the population. Therefore, when I said to the OP that this isn't "normal", I was implying that it is not the kind of behavior that most humans on this planet participate in. Most people don't run out of the room when they anticipate a hug or a kiss on the cheek. Not unless it is a specific type of person who is known to be abusive, infectious, or repulsive in some other physical aspect.

reply to post by 2manyquestions

Here is a question quote from me to the O.P........
The OP replies to me with........
The OP is ........

The OP is not involved in this particular discussion, that you and I are having.
The OP is not the person who thinks that they know my opinion, better than I do.


I suppose you may have accidentally overlooked this part, so here it is again.

but when one of the posters refuses to understand that this behavior [color=A1FF96]is not normal for most human beings, what do you want me to say?

If it is "not normal for most," then obviously [color=A1FF96]it is normal for some.


These are your words, not mine.
[color=A1FF96]this behavior is not normal for most human beings
[color=A1FF96]this behavior is not normal for most human beings
[color=A1FF96]this behavior is not normal for most human beings
[color=A1FF96]this behavior is not normal for most human beings
[color=A1FF96]this behavior is not normal for most human beings

Most is not all.
Never has been.
Never will be.

This poster continues to argue with me that it's perfectly "normal" for a person to not want to be touched by family, friends and strangers.

Is it really?
That's what I am arguing about?
Where did I make this claim?


All I am saying is that what is normal for some, may not be normal for others.
It's actually an extremely simplistic point, yet for some reason, you just cannot accept it.

reply to post by 2manyquestions

I consider my family normal, but we don't hug as a rule either.... its just the way we are - to me its normal

Originally posted by BrokenCircles
All I am saying is that what is normal for some, may not be normal for others.
It's actually an extremely simplistic point, yet for some reason, you just cannot accept it.

and thats what I was reading - I thought it was a debate about what is normal.....

if I'm wrong to you, thats fine, I'm wrong - but I still agree with BC and the OP

Hi Guys

I'm not afraid of physical contact and not really 'repulsed' - I just prefer to keep myself to myself and appreciate other people doing the same when they're around me.

I'll tolerate some people more than others. The person I was complaining about has caused me grief in other ways, including encouraging a good friend of mine to drink alcohol whilst knowing that the friend has a liver disease. And making snarky remarks to me because my objections to it are very well-known. Plus, having a generally rude demeanour. Imagine walking along the street with someone who makes loud, derogatory remarks about passers-by - it crucified me and I won't be doing it again.

I've been told that I was very reserved as a child and I've grown up into a reserved, rather reclusive adult. I'm 'just like that' - it's not a crippling problem, and I might be in a minority, but I think it's a substantial minority.

Some cultures encourage warm physical contact but some don't. I'm happy to think that other people derive joy and comfort from physical contact with each other, but it's not really for me. Unless it's a germ-ridden, flea-bitten, filthy and disgusting (joking) animal. Then it's no holds barred

I've followed the debate about what is normal and although 2manyquestions made a clever point with the example of schizophrenia, that's a severe mental disorder. I think the example of driving on the left or right hand side of the road, used by Broken circles, is more relevant here because it illustrates a way of behaving that's been decided by a particular society. In a similar way to how a society decides what is or is not acceptable in social behaviour.

And I was talking about social behaviour between adults, not the sort of warmth found in typical family life - well, not mine - but probably most people's.

Over the years, it seems to me, boundaries have been breaking down and more and more people seem comfortable with hugging and kissing each other. Great for them, but it's not a trend that I particularly appreciate.

Oh, and the thing about kissing and hugging being prevalent in Europe, raised by Pazcat. Well, the Black Death wiped out between a third and two thirds of the population of Europe in the 14th century. I bet they were all over each other then too. You'd think they might have learned by now

MBlah - The behaviour you describe in your post goes way beyond unacceptable, I don't even know if there's a word for it.

Originally posted by BrokenCircles
reply to post by 2manyquestions

 

Here is a question quote from me to the O.P........
The OP replies to me with........
The OP is ........

The OP is not involved in this particular discussion, that you and I are having.
The OP is not the person who thinks that they know my opinion, better than I do.

 

I suppose you may have accidentally overlooked this part, so here it is again.

but when one of the posters refuses to understand that this behavior [color=A1FF96]is not normal for most human beings, what do you want me to say?

If it is "not normal for most," then obviously [color=A1FF96]it is normal for some.

 

These are your words, not mine.
[color=A1FF96]this behavior is not normal for most human beings
[color=A1FF96]this behavior is not normal for most human beings
[color=A1FF96]this behavior is not normal for most human beings
[color=A1FF96]this behavior is not normal for most human beings
[color=A1FF96]this behavior is not normal for most human beings

Most is not all.
Never has been.
Never will be.

 

This poster continues to argue with me that it's perfectly "normal" for a person to not want to be touched by family, friends and strangers.

Is it really?
That's what I am arguing about?
Where did I make this claim?


All I am saying is that what is normal for some, may not be normal for others.
It's actually an extremely simplistic point, yet for some reason, you just cannot accept it.

I'm done with this conversation. I've wasted enough time trying to explain to you where your logic is flawed.

reply to post by 2manyquestions

I'm done with this conversation.

Because you continuously refuse to address the point.

I've wasted enough time trying to explain to you where your logic is flawed.

I actually somewhat agree with you on this one. You have wasted time by repeating yourself, while blatantly ignoring my direct questions and comments.

It is no more than your opinion, that my logic is flawed.
That is fine though, because you are entitled to have your own opinion.

SMOOCHIES TO BERENIKE♥



lol. J/K. I love to hug and be hugged by the people I love, but others, not so much. Don't blame ya.

reply to post by ladyinwaiting


You're gonna be so sorry.

SMOOCHIES RIGHT BACK AT YA



Don't mess, kid

I really sympathize with this. I am much less happy about strangers, and even not-so-strangers, touching me than I used to be. I would love to even quit shaking hands. Really, wouldn't a nod of the head and a hello suffice??? However, we are all products of our culture, so I place a lot of blame (just for funsies) on the hand-sanitizer industry. And, as has been said before, different cultures acclimate you to different levels of casual intimacy. But please, don't let your thigh press against me on the train!!!!