My Own Prison

You'll never get to know the real me, but that is no fault of your own. It is my need to hide who I am from you that prevents the real me showing. I am just an unfriendly-looking stranger on the street to you who struggles to form even the weakest of smiles in our daily interactions with each other. You think I don't notice you but I do. I see you and wonder what has led you on your current path and to your current location. I want to reach out to you and let you see me for who I really am, but this is not possible at present. This mask is getting heavier to wear and the strain is starting to take its toll on my weary face. I fear that I will be alone in this forsaken prison for eternity if I do not break out soon. How does one escape a prison which they created in their own minds?

reply to post by Dark Ghost


Sounds pretty deep, the most useful advice I can offer is to confide in a best friend. It's surprising just how effective sitting down, talking and opening up becomes, I have a best friend that I see when I need to unclog my mind; he's truly a life saver for me in many ways.

I've found writing down your thoughts can also be quite useful, if you list everything that's troubling you then your making the first proactive step in addressing your problems.

Good luck, if you want to chat about your situation in more detail then feel free to drop me a U2U.

You're right sweetheart, I am the same way.
You just need a friend. Virtual hug and a smile sweetheart, you can pull through love.
Sometimes life can get confusing, your body and your mind are holding you hostage.
I have no idea how to break the cycle, it is like prison in a way. Once you go in, you might not come out.

Peace sweetheart, and stay strong.
U2U me, whenever you feel like it. I'm always here.

I almost wrote a thread like this 2 days ago. Instead I copied it, and saved it. There is a face, maybe more then one, and sometimes even with the closest people we can find that we have never really been ourselves.

We find it sometimes easier to show our "second" face in order to survive. I know that I have a place in my mind that I live in by myself. I refuse to let anyone in. I know that days pass, and the longer I keep it secret, then I can begin to forget.

Same offer as DK, you can U2U me also. Sometimes talking to strangers is easier.

Peace, NRE.

reply to post by Dark Ghost


Go ahead and U2U me as well, if you like. Sometimes life gets hard and it helps to have a friend. Maybe all you need to do is reach out to someone and then they will respond to you. Do you have any close family or friends around you?

Nobody, as you know, can change you but you.

Try to start seeing something good each day.

Just a little something.

From there start to love something each day - something little.

A purr of a kitten at a pet store.

Then maybe move to getting a cat.

From there finding others, that like cats - so you have a go-between, something in common from the get go, and something you're judging that isn't each other.

From there start to love you each day!

It's a conscious choice to love that will make a difference.

When you can love, you will get love in return.

Peace to you

reply to post by Dark Ghost


Get offline, go outside and find a hot chick to bang, and i promise you your world will become bigger everyday, just do it and stop winning and use ATS for some good informational topics, not this paranoia crap.

Sorry, but I have to disagree. The very LAST THING you need at the moment is to go, how was it put? 'Bang hot chicks.' And no! You're NOT whining. Some people need to be a little less dramatic and have a lot more compassion. (Points to the poster above)!

I came back to this thread because I wanted to point out that you really have a wonderful way with words and expressing yourself. Use that to your advantage. Why not stat a thread in Below Top Secret - in General Chit Chat. Start a thread about something you enjoy, something you're passionate about and can share with others. A photo-sharing thread or a music thread. OR - better yet - join a collaborative writing project on ATS. (U2U me for more information). You'd be surprised how great that can be - that kind of sharing.

Also, take into consideration not everyone is 'wired' to be happy-happy joy-joy Disney movie happy all the time. If you're one of those people learn to take pleasure from the little happiness. Begin there.

peace

Originally posted by thethirdmovement
reply to post by Dark Ghost

 

Get offline, go outside and find a hot chick to bang, and i promise you your world will become bigger everyday, just do it and stop winning and use ATS for some good informational topics, not this paranoia crap.

edit on 16-8-2011 by thethirdmovement because: (no reason given)

Stop assuming anonymous people are straight dudes and learn how to spell "whining."

Thanks for the supportive replies guys. I wrote this and put it into the Gray Area section because that's where I thought it belonged but it got moved to this section. I didn't really know what to expect in terms of replies but it's nice to see mostly positive/supportive ones from people that can relate in some way to what I wrote. That's what I wanted: to connect with people that can relate to these types of feelings.

Just consider the bars of your prison. Do they lock you up? Or do they lock up the world? It is really sad to see how the whole world is behind bars except the stuff you let into your realm.

reply to post by Diyainoue


I think the bars lock me up - not the whole world.

reply to post by Dark Ghost


We all feel like that at some time in our lives. Don't worry it's only temporary, in my case, the real me isn't very nice so be thankful you don't know the real me. Just a heads up.

Originally posted by Hawking

Originally posted by thethirdmovement
reply to post by Dark Ghost

 

Get offline, go outside and find a hot chick to bang, and i promise you your world will become bigger everyday, just do it and stop winning and use ATS for some good informational topics, not this paranoia crap.

edit on 16-8-2011 by thethirdmovement because: (no reason given)

Stop assuming anonymous people are straight dudes and learn how to spell "whining."

Cultural marxism..............
cant get away from it,
no where

Hey buddy, don't worry, there are many of us out there that feel exactly how you do! I myself am very, very introverted, and tend to overanalyze everything to a fault. Trust me, I know exactly what it's like to feel like a prisoner of your own mind. I personally view being introverted as a sign of great intelligence and character. Take it one day at a time, and even though it can be a struggle, just remember that you are gifted, and as unique as anyone out there! Don't let the world's norms make you feel down or distressed, because who wants to be just like everyone else? Keep your head up, and God bless you !

reply to post by Dark Ghost


It will sound a little vague.
Are you sure that the image you see through your bars is the world? Or is the representation you project on it?

I'm not trying to put you down or sound negative.

But do you realize that the concepts you are using to lock yourself up are egocentric? you don't talk because of you, how can anybody else know?

What tells you that the person that you see does not have the exact same feeling, maybe hiding in their adaptive social status. At least your not alone if you are a sheep. You will hardly see any "real" persons, mostly you will see representations, masks, walls, projections. As it is hard for one to see oneself truly, it will even be harder to see the self of another one. You can even wonder if you are capable of seeing the self of another one if you can't see your own self.

Just push the bars away slowly, make your prison bigger, give yourself more space and don't try to fill it with things from the outside. Life will flourish.

Good luck.

reply to post by Dark Ghost


We are all prisoners of our own delusions and fanciful thoughts of who we believe we are, or how we believe others perceive us. "Know Thyself". Truly. This will set you free. How does one begin? First, stop worrying about being where/who/how you are. Allow yourself (and all else) to just be what it is. No judgement. It is harder than it sounds, but it is a great start. Understand that the 'mask' you wear is often reflected back. Once you allow all to be as it is, without judgement, then you can begin to wear the 'mask' of your choosing, and will find the need for security that your 'prison' provides, is no longer needed, as you will have gained some confidence to venture out from the walls. I hope this helps.

Originally posted by Dark Ghost
How does one escape a prison which they created in their own minds?

Move the focus to your heart.

Read this projectcamelot.org...

You did not create this prison. It was created for you, for various reasons; some malevolent some not so. Your struggle to escape the prison can be the very spark that ignites the quest for you true self. It's all part of a much greater plan than we can imagine, let alone understand.

It is unfortunate that the world we live in and in order to survive requires us to wear a mask to hide our true self. If you could remove the mask and be the person that you would like to be, what would that be?

Would you retreat completely within? Sometimes I feel that I would. I know it is me, but I find most human interaction prickly at the least and obtrusive and annoying at the most. I know why though. It is in direct proportion to the level of their ego that I find myself having to be involved with. On the other hand, out of the blue I will run across a truly genuine, intelligent person that exudes inner beauty and grace and I am in awe. As we move in the direction of awakening, the former will become the minority and the latter will emerge.

You really think you are the only one out there?

I am guessing here; but you have a split personality with a special case in which both are active at the same time and both are aware of each other at the same time. It is simular to being scizotypical, but not really like it. How did you grind your mind? Did you narrowed the connection between your emotional and logical parts during your early teens?

(and yes, I am being serious)