posted on Mar, 31 2003 @ 10:55 PM
TO: Unsuspecting ATS Member (or even less suspecting Civilian)
From: Agent Hardass, DHS, Personal Monitoring Division (backed up by 5 DHS stormtroopers)
Hello, I am here to install your new congressionally mandated personal monitoring device. This device will monitor all activity you undertake for the
rest of your life, it will record and transmit every word you hear or speak, and will also indicate whether you exhibit any signs of engaging in
terroristic activities, as well as any signs of sexual excitement, at which time we may elect to arrest you or simply video tape the activities for
This device is designed to be anally inserted and will remain in your body for the rest of your life. It has in no way been investigated or
experimented by any medical organization, however, because it is mandated by congress, it wont hurt you.
We seem to be temporarily out of KY, but I will attempt to minimize your pain by making it a very fast insertion.
If you oppose this insertion, you will be deemed a HIGH THREAT RISK, and will be transported to a holding facility for HIGH THREAT RISKS at Guantanamo
Any questions? Then simply bend over....
[Edited on 1-4-2003 by dragonrider]