The Rapture Report-Live testimonials from around the world, 26 minutes to go.

ROFLMAO from the twitterverse - @dseven - Stay low and watch out for low flying Christains

This is an excellent safety precaution for the non-believers.

ETA: If you want a realtime feed off the twitterverse - Realtime results for #Rapture

Some are just too funny for words.

i dont think it's going to happen but, just in case its for real...

can I get a rapture waiver

This is making me laugh

I can't believe this crap actually got highlighted on the news...television AND newspapers. My husband has a coastal fishing trip tomorrow and I'm selling a bunch of crap in the morning during a yard sale...I have plans so I hope Jesus waits until we're done, charter fishing ain't cheap

Originally posted by zazzafrazz
We Aussies are to experience what in Christian sect terms is known as "Premature Raptulation" As we and our Kiwi cousins hit the 21st of May before the rest of the world, I will through all the raining down of brimstone and fire, feed through to you all the visions of terror from the oncoming zombie apocalypse.
I believe Its business time... So join in and see Armageddon as it unfolds from the future.

Ha ha ha. This is the funniest thing I've read here in ages. Very very good.

"Premature Rapulation" I just about choked I was laughing so much.

Originally posted by MJZoo
reply to post by Phantom28804

 

HEY! It took God 6 days to create the earth, you can at least give him a day to destroy it!

On that note, I don't see why God needed to rest on the 7th day. I mean, he IS God after all. Does he get cranky if he misses his nap?

That is because on day 6 he created every green herb on day 7 he saw that it was good,
so he rested...

Originally posted by zazzafrazz
reply to post by billxam

 

Surely listening to Kool and the gang is a sign of the 4th horseman?
Put away your calmness, it is time to PANIC

Good job zazzafrazz, Riders on the Storm is on now and Jesus is having second thoughts. I'm going to try to talk him out of it. Stand by.

Okay, I talked him down. He's probably going to be up all night partying. Wait til I get ahold of the clown that came up with this rapture deal. You ever babysit Jesus all night listening to 70's rock?

The rapture has started !

I'm sitting here at the computer and i just got a call from Satan, Satan wants my soul !
And then i turned some music on, but im hearing the voice of god !
People are walking the streets like zombies !!!
This is terrible :O !!!

Translation

I'm sitting here at the computer and i just got a call from my x girlfriend, she wants my money !
And then i turned some music on, but im hearing the voice of Maynard James Keenan !
People are walking the streets like sheep !!!
This is hilarious !!!

Seriously just wet myself a bit, another twitter gem @elonjames‎ My mom just locked herself out of the house. Wondering should I get a locksmith or should I just tell her wait a bit....

reply to post by VreemdeVlieendeVoorwep


"I am ready.

Beam me up scotty.!! "


#man, I was gonna say that!!

1 and a half hours to the 21st here on the East Coast. When nothing happens, I hope there will be a mob of followers near Harold Camping, and I'm hoping once they realize they were made fools of the geezer will get a decent ass beating. But at his age he'd probably crumble like a piece of dry cake, so I'm not advocating violence.

At 1am (pacific standard time) Saturday May 21, 2012 it will be 6pm in Brisbane, Australia. I am on the west coast of the United States.

Here is a link to a global time and date website:

www.timeanddate.com...


Just found out that at 9pm tonight (PST) it will be 6pm - Saturday - on - Kiritimati, Christmas Island, Kiribati

Originally posted by Suspiria
I'm feeling quite odd.
But I think it's the varnish fumes wafting in from the kitchen.

Why are you cooking varnish?
You brits eat strange stuff, kidney pie, blood pudding, spotted dick etc.

Now...if I travel away from the rapture at the speed of light....will I forever be rapturless?

line 2

reply to post by Trublbrwing


spotted dick sounds like an affliction not a side dish. You know, like cheese balls.

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I still say The Oatmeal summed up the Rapture best:

theoatmeal.com...

speaking of good tweets omg I'm laughing so hard reading some of them....

At 6pm I am going to say "beam me up goddy"

I don't know whether or not it'll happen. I'm open minded enough to say anything is possible, but man this whole situation is definitely becoming the biggest circus I've ever seen. I'm probably going to go to hell just for laughing at all of this stuff. I just can't help it. I mean come on, even God has to think some of these are funny

RT @RubberChickenMa: tomorrow's my mother's birthday. Seems reasonable that it's the #rapture day. After all she thinks the world revolves around her anyway.

3.5 hours to go here in New Mexico. Its dark outside, and I'm watching Cartoons, figured it would be a great way to watch it end, lol.

La-da-da-dadada
I was gonna wake up on time, until I got raptured
Don't think I'ma make it to work, because I got raptured
(woohooo....)
Now I'm floatin' my a#s to Heaven, and I know why
Because I got raptured, because I got raptured, because I got raptured

I don't know why this whole thing made me think of Afroman, but, there ya go.

This is conjecture, I myself can think of some others, but 32 Pictures You Need To See Before You Die Tomorrow