Today, I'm 33 1/2 and still a virgin. It was the age of Jesus when he was crucified.

If you are looking to eventually be in a stable, loving, romantic relationship, I would suggest looking for role models. Hang out with friends who have the kind of relationships in their lives that you desire. Watch how the couples treat each other, react to each other, respect each other.

Don't look for the "one" in bars- she's not there. Actually, stop looking. You will find each other when you are ready for each other.

Your current age has nothing to do with Jesus. You may want to study and pray more about Him and discover His true nature.

Get around females, speak to them, make them laugh, be friend them, secks them up.


otherwise;
BS.

And you whole Jesus connection is almost borderline Schizophrenic thinking.

ps: Don't mention the Jesus thing to girls.

Originally posted by Gazrok
reply to post by LibertyLover

 

Unless SHE always thought of you as boyfriend material, but SETTLED for being your friend, there is no "getting off the friend list". Women aren't like guys in this respect, so I've been told. If they've always thought of you as just a friend, that's where it stays, other than a drunken "mistake", or a lost in the moment mistake. (which then becomes awkward)...

edit on 21-10-2010 by Gazrok because: (no reason given)

I got out of the friend zone after i was told twice i was in it. its hard... really hard to get out of. i think only like 1-5% of guys get out of it. but if i can do it.... i doubt OP can. It takes mad skills at planning and game playing G/L

Oh dear, the friend zone. Stop befriending women for too long, make your intentions clear from the start.
I am not saying jump into bed with them the first night because that usually never works out either.

Just let women know you like them in a sexual way and then date them, get to know them. Don't leave sex any longer than a few weeks though cos you will end up right back in that friend zone

Don't mention your Jesus complex... EVER!!!

Your age does not mean that you are like Jesus or are destined to live a celibate life.

My guess is that you don't pick up on women's signals. I know a girl who was the same way. Guys would flirt with her and she just wouldn't get it. She thought they were just being "nice." I'd point out to her that that's not what they were doing, but she didn't understand. Because she didn't get it, she didn't date much. Since she didn't date much, she couldn't figure out guys. It's a viscious cycle.

Look, It's not all about attractiveness for a woman, although that does help. We women are looking for stability, honesty, intelligence. We like it when you're secure with yourself. We like it when you have a job because that shows independence and responsibility.

I think you are giving out the wrong signals.

An experienced woman can usually tell when a guy hasn't had sex. You carry yourself differently. Believe it or not, you walk differently. You're more innocent. You aren't as sophisticated in wooing us because you act like you're unsure of yourself. You're just awkward. We don't like desperate. If you act too desperate we quickly get turned off by that, too, because it's just gross.

My hunch is you're trying too hard to be a "friend" and you're also giving off the "desperate" vibe.

Here's my advice: start dating, A LOT. The more women you hang out with, the more you'll start figuring out how to communicate with them. If you see someone you're interested in, ask her out on a date. You've tried the shy game long enough. Worse comes to worse, she says no. Fine. There are plenty other women out there to choose from.

In order to cross over from the "friend" to a romantic love interest, you have to make some changes. Touch her more often: Brush her hair off her face. Hug her for a second longer than usual. Put your arm around her. Hold her hand. Help her with her jacket and then steal a kiss. You have to make a move, man!

Your soft touch will send currents of electricity from you to her. She'll definitely get the message. It's a completely different vibe you're giving off. "Friends" don't do those things or when they do touch each other, there are no jolts of electricity happening. It just feels normal. It's your intention that changes that touch into electricity.

If she just thinks of you as a friend, she'll be surprised and it may take her a bit to make the switch to thinking of you in a romantic way. But, she also might go with it.

Don't freak her out with the whole "I haven't had sex" thing. She'll worry that you'll bond with her too much. She doesn't want to be your "first" because that carries with it responsibility. Just wait until it happens. She'll still know it's your first time (trust me, she'll know).

In other words, right now you're worrying about home plate when you haven't even gotten to first base yet. Take it one step at a time and it'll work out for you!

Let me know how this has helped. If you have any other questions, just ask. Good luck!

reply to post by Waiting2


glad to have a woman brake it down for the guy. everything you say is so true coming from a guys perspective. If OP does everything you tell him he should not have a problem. its all attitude. keep your head up, literally, project your voice when you speek, and be decisive. no muttering or 2nd thoughts.

Looks do have a bit in the game so clean yourself up. but looks are not everything. i got a buddy 5'11" 350 pounds and has pulled some good looking girls. his best between, 1-10, she was a 7-1/2. he did it because he is such a funny guy and so fun to be around. he is fun to be around because he has such a positive additude. get one and you will get the girls.

reply to post by camaro68ss


Thanks for the compliment, Camaro68ss! I realized after high school that if I sat around and waited, the dating scene would be pretty dry. Hopefully, the OP will realize that a bit of finesse is involved. (He can't just grope every woman he sees.)

I'd also suggest the OP watches body language. You can tell who is dating because they are constantly touching each other. Touch on the back, the shoulder, etc. Chick flick movies show a man's interest in a woman. They'll actually have examples of smooth ways to let a woman know you're interested. A touch of the hand, grabbing something the same time she does, the way you look at her.

I can FEEL it when you like me, even if you're across the room. You send off vibes, like an invisible connection. Just like when you can tell when someone is staring at you. If you keep sending off vibes and she still doesn't get it, either:

1. she's pretending because she wants you to make the first move

2. she's faking it because she clearly doesn't like you, OR

3. she just doesn't get it that you're flirting with her.

After high school, I realized that I had to stop being coy and waiting for people to approach me because that might not happen. I got really bold. If I was interested in a guy, I told him. At least that way I didn't have to wonder any more.

In my mid twenties, I told one guy who was showing signs he liked me but slow to make any moves: "Look, I'm just going to say this straight out. I really like you. You and I have a lot in common and we have fun together. I'm interested in seeing where this relationship will go. I need to know if you're at all interested in me, too. If not, that's okay. If so, I'll stick around and see what develops. Either way I need to know where you stand."

He's now my husband. Needless to say, it worked.

reply to post by realanswers


You do realise that at 33 in Jesus' society he was probably a Grandfather already. Marrige age was 13...You'll note that the bible jumps from him being 13 and lecturing in the temple to 33 and being crucified.That's a gap of 20 years...time for a whole life...before finishing the task assigned to him.
As far as the pains go if your jesus...heal yourself....Seriously....theres no force field of any sort clouding peoples visions of you....See a Dr...get some meds....Meet a girl who thinks she's Mary Magdeline and get busy!

To my surprise, I didn't expect for this thread topic to be so popular here. Thanks, I really appreciate all the advice and constrictive criticism. My situation involved my parents continuously moving me around and away from friends to 9 different states. I've also purposely been homeless for about 5 years WHILE WORKING A FULL TIME JOB to pay off debt. I know it sounds crazy, but I'm tough like that.
I'm optimistic for my future and thankful for my survival. My aura is very big and that energy can possibly overwhelm the average person at first unless they're used to at least accepting different levels of aura. I've not only learned this by noticing what people wind up being close friends, but I've also been told this by psychics. They also said that people feel very protected in my aura. That's probably one reason why that even my enemies sometimes even want to be friends.

Originally posted by NoRegretsEver
It seems like the OP's feeling are "hurt" more than his physicality. He seems to think more of himself, even though the populace seems to disagree.

As long as his ego is ahead of his body, he will remain alone. That's my honest opinion.

Peace, NRE.

Indeed.
Good advice.



p.s..OP,
youll never find a good girl in a bar or night club. lol
maybe good for fun...
but not good for love.

The problem lies within you.
There is no 'special reason" for your situation,
other than you not knowing yourself,
but fooling yourself into thinking you do.

If you don't know you,
know one else can know you.
and no one else will want to know you, if you don't even know you,.

You are no more special or unique than anyone else.
Learn that.
then accept it.

reply to post by Gazrok


Was the whole post directed at me or just the first part?

reply to post by America?


I was replying to LibertyLover's post that time.


Waiting2, that is some excellent advice, the entire post...
Right from the source gentlemen.

(personally though, I still think you (America) need to get the first time under your belt before you can put her excellent advice to use though).....

reply to post by realanswers


Realanswers,

Forget your aura. Most cannot even see it. Since most people cannot even see auras, that's not what a woman is going to look for in a guy. They may sense you're "good," but won't be able to tell what your color is, etc.

If you think you're Jesus and thus you cannot have a relationship, you're giving off the vibes that say you're already married to God. Almost all women will just pass you by because you give off the "unavailable" vibes.

You said you were purposely homeless for 5 years. That's part of your problem. Again, women like stability. We're not looking for Mr. Moneybags, but we do want to come back to your place once in a while. We like to see how you keep house because it gives us a clue into how you'll keep house with us. It's pretty hard to have a decent relationship if you're homeless and we never know where to find you.

Ever hear of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs? Google it. You're looking for love when you could barely take care of food, shelter, the basics. You can't share yourself fully with someone if you're too busy figuring out where to sleep tonight and whether or not you have enough money for food.

Only when you have your basics covered and are secure in yourself can you then open yourself to have a loving relationship with someone else.

Originally posted by realanswers
My headache is still there, but when I read some of the reply comments on here I laugh my head off.
I hope I get more funny as heck replies. My headache doesn't feel as bad after I laugh.

Each one so far has been judgemental and self-absorbed in my opinion.

reply to post by Gazrok


You caught me . I personally don't think its that big a deal right now.

reply to post by America?


Yeah, you keep telling yourself that...

Seriously though, just get it over with, and you'll be a much happier camper. I don't know why Nature plays such a cruel trick on us guys, I really don't, but once it's behind you, you'll find you don't think about it near as obsessively.

More points

Drop the Jesus thing and make sure you don’t look like him. Not saying Jesus was a bad looking guy but the whole long hair thing is 2,000 years out dated

Don’t talk about peoples color you see, she will thing you’re crazy.

Don’t talk about aliens or conspiracy theories. (you should save that for the 10th or 11th date)

You also need a good plan and lots of money.

uhmm.. the biblical jesus story is a fairytale. He was probably not even a virgin when he was crucified,being married to Mary Magdalene and all, if he even was crucified. Sorry to burst the bubble, I'm sure it still hurts.

reply to post by The Quiet Storm


Not to turn it into a religion thread, but many accounts state Jesus was a Rabbi, and in that time, that meant you were married, so does seem a bit of revisionist history was going on. There were other accounts of his life that didn't make it into the "approved" Bible, including him having children, etc. (and a brother, James)....