reply to post by Dock9
Dock, your post received a star from me. You really have an acute insight into this problematic issue.
My nine year old grand daughter when asked if she liked school said "not anymore, the girls voted I was second prettiest so I was popular but than I
refused to pull a prank on Ruth who was the second ugliest, fat and most unpopular girl and now the popular girls won't eat lunch with me or even
talk to me, they laugh at me and talk about me, I'm no longer popular and the teacher doesn't care. Now everyone treats me like Ruth."
Hello, where is the teacher. My grand daughter said she tried to tell the teacher but the teacher called her a snitch.
My grand daughter is 9 and this has affected her profoundly.
I have been bullied at work for over a decade now by a tyrannical boss, but my job is soon to be outsourced, "thank god" and I can't wait to have
this jerk out of my life. I will retire early and leave the bullies far behind for the first time in my 58 years of life.
I've bought my grand daughter a couple books on bullying and the next time we are together plan to read and discuss this very issue further with
her.
My experience has been that the kids that bully come from parents that bullied and it must be stopped.
How to stop it, well the teachers have got to start to care, watch closely for it and take immediate action against this.
Bullying and the allowing of it affects all of us profoundly.
Ever wonder about those shootings at Columbine or the work people that "go postal"?
It's often times the end result of bullying perpetrated over and over and over day in and day out for years on someone and everyone else sees it and
does nothing, they look away and am glad it isn't affecting them.
Read my signature.
While I do not condone violence of any kind or excuse it, I'll wager the kids that did the shooting had just reached their endurance point, had no
where to turn and having no other recourse went crazy, because as my grand daughter said, "the teachers don't care, they see it and don't stop
it".
Oftentimes it is the person, (children and adults alike) that know how to socially manipulate people that get away with bullying the less socially
naive ones that can't defend themselves. (social IQ)
If somebody seeing another person being bullied doesn't stop it, they are in a sense allowing it.
Well the shootings at schools and the workplaces are the end result.
Someone has got to care and stop it.
Same goes for bullying in the work place.
As stated before, I have undergone massive, horrendous bullying because of my hearing defect, even been made fun of and human resources doesn't care,
they don't want to hear it.
I am not a violent or nutty postal person,I just go home and have a glass of wine to settle my nerves and cry in my pillow, but once I am outsouced, I
will be free of my boss and happy, truely happy.
I am glad I will no longer have to bow to the red queen.
There are millions upon millions of people being bulllied.
My oldest son joined a gang so he would stop being bullied, where were the teachers? They looked the other way.
It cost me $110,000 (a second mortagage to save my son).
I have gotten four good books on this subject and they have helped ease some of the problem.
They are:
Bully In Sight by Tim Field
Mobbing Emotional Abuse in the American Workplace by Noa Davenport, Ruth Distler Schwartz and Gail Pursell Ellitott
The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense by Suzette haden Elgin and Political Ponerology by Andrew M. Lobaczewski
The last book explains what is happening on a world wide scale and discusses the true nature of evil and One psychopath can terrorize an entire town,
even an entire city. The majority of normal people are now ruled by a minority of psychopaths and they have basically made our governments criminal
networks. Criminal governments. Those working for these governments are now working for what basically is a criminal enterprise and they don't see it
because they are in it and profit by it, yet it is these people who are determining our future and the future of our children.
Mankind is becoming a willing slave to the pathocratic structures created by the inhuman obsessive greed of this small percentage of humanity that
cannot feel conscience. This book is a MUST READ. Only by knowing what we are dealing with can we do anything about it without going in circles. We
are dealing with an intelligent predator that feeds on the soul of humanity.
If someone is a square peg and not willing to fit in that round hole they are hammered.
And it begins the minute a child begins his first day at school.
A bully is a person with a psychopathic narcissism personality and there seem to be a lot them running around.
It has now become acceptably cute, with the acceptace of ghetto culture to exhibit this cruel, me first personality trait.
Meanwhile people keep remaining apathetic until it personally affects them.
Political Ponerology by Andrew M. Lobaczewski
What is bullying?
Bullying is persistent unwelcome behaviour, mostly using unwarranted or invalid criticism, nit-picking, fault-finding, also exclusion, isolation,
being singled out and treated differently, being shouted at, humiliated, excessive monitoring, having verbal and written warnings imposed, and much
more. In the workplace, bullying usually focuses on distorted or fabricated allegations of underperformance. Click here for definitions of workplace
bullying.
Why do people bully?
The purpose of bullying is to hide inadequacy. Bullying has nothing to do with managing etc; good managers manage, bad managers bully. Management is
managing; bullying is not managing. Therefore, anyone who chooses to bully is admitting their inadequacy, and the extent to which a person bullies is
a measure of their inadequacy. Bullies project their inadequacy on to others:
a) to avoid facing up to their inadequacy and doing something about it;
b) to avoid accepting responsibility for their behaviour and the effect it has on others, and,
c) to reduce their fear of being seen for what they are, namely a weak, inadequate and often incompetent individuals, and,
d) to divert attention away from their inadequacy - in an insecure or badly-managed workplace, this is how inadequate, incompetent and aggressive
employees keep their jobs.
A bully is a person who
has never learnt to accept responsibility for their behaviour
wants to enjoy the benefits of living in the adult world, but who is unable and unwilling to accept the responsibilities that are a prerequisite for
being part of the adult world.
abdicates and denies responsibility for their behaviour and its consequences (abdication and denial are common features of bullying)
is unable and unwilling to recognise the effect of their behaviour on others
does not want to know of any other way of behaving
is unwilling to recognise that there could be better ways of behaving.
Bullying is obsessive and compulsive; the serial bully has to have someone to bully and appears to be unable to survive without a current target.
Source: (excellent site) www.bullyonline.org...
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And get this, the people who bully are psychopaths, they have no remorse, no feeling, no empathy for anyone but themself.
And to stand by and allow another human to be bullied is wrong wrong wrong.
This is one of the major reasons our planet is so mucked up.
May Phoebe rest in peace and my her essence go to a more hospitable place.
[edit on 15-8-2010 by ofhumandescent]