When did kids get so stupid that we could no longer allow them to be kids?

When I was a kid there were around 100 other kids in an upper middle class neighborhood.

We jumped off the roof into the pool, had BB guns, and tree houses. We rode in the back of pick up trucks, rode our bikes up and down the streets, gone for an easy 8 hours at a time without parental supervision.

The older kids looked out for the younger ones, the middle kids fed the younger ones mud pies made from suzi bake ovens and we all had our butts back home in time for dinner when the street lights came on.
We all lived.

There weren't many girls having abortions at 14 because we weren't having intercourse. It wasn't because we were on the pill, and believe me, it wasn't because we didn't have the opportunity. Virgins at 17 and 18 were still common.

When did kids get so stupid that we could no longer allow them to be kids?
Why don't kids play outside in the states anymore?

There were pervs and killers when I was growing up too. What happened?
Was it because of the government, did our kids get dumber, or is it the parents?


[edit on 15-10-2009 by Sundancer]

enter video games, food additives, and laws preventing you from disciplining your children or it's abuse.
you get the next generation of slack wit parents, and their holy terror offspring.

reply to post by Sundancer



The culture of fear is one thing...

The CPS is another...

X-BOX, and internet is yet another...



Top 3 right there.

reply to post by Sundancer


I believe it is for two reasons.
1. We live in a nanny state where those in power think we need to have our hands held and our asses wiped in order to make it through life.
2. There is a conspiracy afoot to turn boys into girls, and so they can't take risks, they can't fight, they can't play war, and they have to protect their little heads when they ride a bike, so they can look like retards.

At my house we live by Natural Selection. If you can'tride a bike without dying then your genes shouldn't pass to the next generation. At least, we are doing our part for the betterment of the species.

S&F for this thread....

I guess the answer is fear... Fear that our children get hurt. So than the question is, why are we more afraid our children get hurt than our parents were before us? I think the answer to this lies within what we are thought by the media/government/health care etc.

Every day we get bombarded with info on what could hurt our children. Talkshows talk about it, magazines write about it, doctors speak about it.

Not only have we become fearful of things that could hurt our children, but many of us have also become afraid of things that could hurt our selfs or our family and friends.

Now it is a good thing to be alert (which is often a necessity, especially when crossing the street...lol). But there's also a tendency to overreact. I guess it's important we realize that one day our children will be grown ups and have to take care of them self. In order to learn to take care of yourself you have to make mistakes. Learn how to fall before you learn how to walk...

If we don't give our children the space needed to develop them selfs and get in the way of their learning moments, we take away their chances of becoming responsible adults. I am sometimes under the impression that a lot of governments worldwide would like to see this happening (may or may not be a conscious decision of those governments, I honestly wouldn't know). A lot of our opinions get served for us, we don't need to think about it, just repeat what we hear. Right or wrong...we don't need to make that decision any more... The television will tell us. So who needs self thinking, responsible adults...right?

reply to post by Sundancer


I have two kids and I would never willingly allow them to jump off a roof into a pool. Not only is that dangerous, and a stupid thing to 'let' your kid do. The first time I found out it happened, I'd put an end to it asap. When the kid broke his neck from a high dive into a 3 ft pool, who do you think would get the blame?Not only that, but can you imagine the guilt the parent would have to live with? My mother wouldn't have allowed that either.

I agree that kids need to get out more and be kids, riding bikes, playing outside, etc, but they don't need to do dangerous things to be a kid. I get your point, but using jumping off a roof into a pool is a bad example.


Kids can be kids, but parents still need to watch out for them and ensure their safety.

reply to post by Sundancer


I agree with the points here and I too had a very similiar experience as a kid and grew up in an industrial city on the East Coast (not a garden spot). I think there a few other reasons:

-not only did older kids look out for the younger ones, parents looked out for kids as well. If someone was doing something to a kid or kids were destroying property there would be some curb-side justice. An adult fooling with kids would get a savage beating, right there. If the cops came they ignored it, today you would be arrested.

-people sue other people for stuff that just happens. Fall off another kid's swingset? Sue the kid's family. That kind of thing did not happen when I was a kid. It was assumed that kids were going to get hurt in the course of being kids. Nobody would ever dream of suing somebody for a typical accident, broken bones, etc.

-kids fight. Hell, they are supposed to fight. If someone came home with a bloody lip or black eye, your parents would ask you about it. If it just was a typical school-yard beef, that was the end of it. Now folks call the cops, make a big deal out of it.

-kids are spoiled far too much. there was no inside play when I was a kid. Outside all day unless the weather was savage.

-the biggest issue though is that kids are far to organized by adults. league play starts at 5 and kids are constantly engaged in adult organized activities. The kind of thing you're talking requires an active imagination and IMO that is being stripped out of kids and it is not a good thing.

The really sick thing is that many of these kids are growing up and have a deluded image of what the world should be like. Since they are sheltered and protected from everyone and everything there parents deem not desirable, can lead to the delusion. Heck, it's turning out that many of the parents are functionally crazy. People say it's okay its just steve or alice whatever, but it's dangerous because this person is a landmine and they may be raising another landmine of a person to adulthood that could damage another family.

Lack of time spent...
Two working parents...
Left to their own devices...

I'm wondering if the question might be worth re-phrasing.

If we assume kids are basically blank slates that are kind of molded by their environment.

Then we must ask ourselves. Who made the current environment they grow up in?

I think as parents and adults we did to a good degree.

So did the kids get stupid - or were we the ones who got stupid?

I'm thinking it was we adults that got stupid.

[edit on 15-10-2009 by Frogs]

I think another factor is all the technology.
How is there quality family time when they are always on the net or listening to an ipod or playing videogames.
Waaaaay too many distractions.
We used to go play outside as a kid and do dumb things like tree forts 30 feet up with a swinging rope to try to get down.
Are kids dumber or more distracted?

Originally posted by virraszto
reply to post by Sundancer

 

I have two kids and I would never willingly allow them to jump off a roof into a pool. Not only is that dangerous, and a stupid thing to 'let' your kid do. The first time I found out it happened, I'd put an end to it asap. When the kid broke his neck from a high dive into a 3 ft pool, who do you think would get the blame?Not only that, but can you imagine the guilt the parent would have to live with? My mother wouldn't have allowed that either.

I agree that kids need to get out more and be kids, riding bikes, playing outside, etc, but they don't need to do dangerous things to be a kid. I get your point, but using jumping off a roof into a pool is a bad example.


Kids can be kids, but parents still need to watch out for them and ensure their safety.

Taking risks = maturity

Did you ever take risks? if not, you must still be a child deep down inside

No offense, just truth. take it or leave it.

I was not aware things have really changed, I grew up in the states, in Philadelphia, im 21 so im not old enough that things are drastically different. Kids are not stupid things have just changed, you cannot just look at something happening within society at surface level without looking at many social influences and advents surrounding it.

I think the only kids who are not allowed to come outside are the ones with parents afraid of their own shadows. Thats how it always was, there were always some kids who werent allowed to play with us or come outside. Im sure all throughout history this has been going on. This is not new, people are just blowing this out of proportion. I mean as many have said above there are video games now so all of the games that tied kids together (mother may I, hide n go seek, red light green light, manhunt, etc) probably dont get played as much anymore. There are also computers, x-box live, youtube, and the list goes on. Plus homework and all the other demands placed on the kids of today that probably were not when you were a child These things also depend on the kids and what type of extra curricular activities are going on.

So essentially, if anyone has been become more stupid it has been parents.

I'm a kid, if you deem 17 yrs old as still being a kid, and I'm just fine. The children of society have absolutely not gon dumber, actually from my experience I see it as another way around. See, kids these days are less disciplined, from my experience, which I see as a two edged sword. We can think what we want without having the parents shove their beliefs down our throats with what they "think" is right. We recognize the many flaws in the education system, which is why lots of kids have trouble graduating. More kids are waking up and being open to new things. The kids before who are now adults were smarter? I don't think so, considering all of the stuff that has happened in the past and the fact that there are still adults who are stuck in the past and teach their kids wrong/negative things, such as racism and etc. Kids today arent dumber, we just don't see the need to go outside as much. And if things like the internet were so bad all of you who think it a distraction wouldnt be on it in the first place. Judgin the brains of todays kids simply by whether they take risks or not is not a good example of whos smerter or not.

reply to post by ItIsWhatItIs


So taking a chance in doing stupid stuff and getting physically hurt= maturity? I wonder what world you live in? no offense.

Just speaking from my own experience I would have to say that my kids (all 6) are probably smarter in every way. They not only get healthy doses of outdoor play to encourage their creativity but also have the other hi-tech input with computers, some video games, discovery channel etc. and definitely 2 parents who do not talk down to them. They are all gifted with high grades with my oldest now married and on a full scholarship to a private university.

We've lived in neighborhoods where the children still get outside and play and we have also lived in neighborhoods where it seems kids are either little hermits always inside or at some after school program, sport, or dance etc and never have time to play. As long as it is not raining or too cold/hot they play outside almost daily.

They are given age appropriate independence and responsibility and allowed to grow into adulthood.

My husband and I have a saying in our house "every child is home schooled and it is evident when the get to school what they have learned at home'. Our children thrive based on what we teach and expose them to regardless of whether the school has been "dumbed down" or not.

It is about taking personal responsibility for our children and not living in a fear state that tells us that everything is dangerous. Setting appropriate boundaries dispels fear and allows for the utmost in creativity.

Just the ramblings of a mom of 6 (3 boys and 3 girls).

Jumping off a roof into a pool can quickly make you a paraplegic. It's called good parenting if you stop them from doing so.

You're lucky you are not dead.

Originally posted by ItIsWhatItIs

Taking risks = maturity

Did you ever take risks? if not, you must still be a child deep down inside

No offense, just truth. take it or leave it.

Oh, come on. I agreed with the OP that kids need to get outside more and be kids. I just didn't agree with one of her examples. A lot of us played with matches as kids, but how many of us would give our 6 yr old a pack of matches and say, " Go have fun!"?

You can let your kids be kids but still keep an eye out for their safety.

reply to post by Sundancer


There was some talk of this in my development psych classes a few years ago. It comes from the 1960s. The parents of the kids growing up in the 60s were authoritarian parental figures, beating kids was typical discipline and not really considered abuse. Those children rebelled, the children of the 60s, that supreme rebel generation told themselves if they ever had kids they wouldn't be like their authoritarian parents.

Thus the modern "soft" parenting style came to be. Spankings were replaced by time outs originally by parents and eventually the government said so too. The self-esteem movement started and kids became the spoiled brats we see today, everyone was worried their kid would grow up to resent them the way they resented their own parents and worried their kid, if not raised just right and fawned over all the time, would become one of the statistics the TV warned them about.

The other main factor is the fear factor. The news is constantly pounding it into your head that you need to be afraid of just about everything and everyone you come in contact with. People used to know and befriend their neighbors, nowadays most of us are surrounded by strangers and the media tells us those neighbors are likely child molesters, serial killers, or meth addicts.

So parents became spineless worry-warts, the government and media became more and more responsible for caring for your kids (and telling you how to take care of them) and most Mothers joined the work force meaning they weren't home to build strong family bonds. Television became the babysitter, and after TV came video games, cell phones and the internet.

i wouldnt blame the children, i would blame the parents! yes the parents. this day and age mom and pop both have to work. then if pop loses his job, mom kicks pop out and gets herself another man that has a job. the child sees this and thinks hmm. i wont stick it out either as the grass is always greener on the other side. then after said, failed relationships. the child doesnt have a clue which end is right side up! if you dont beleive me just look at the divorce rates from lets say the 40's-50's to now.


owe forgot one last thing. pop is so broke from child support that he eats hot dogs and cannot see his kids as he is broke 24-7.

recap: bad decisions on parents- the system working against the dad!