When did kids get so stupid that we could no longer allow them to be kids?

I'm 32, have been married for almost 7 years, and am about to have our 4th child (the oldest is 9).

Being that, I would like to point out that there are a good many in my generation who are fighting to keep things up to snuff.

I know quite a few young parents who are currently battling the older generations. That buffer generation that had kids that knew technology with parents that didn't is almost over.

We are the first generation to enjoy serious technology and have kids. This is the key.

I laugh when some of my neighbors tell my son he should put on a helmet to try out a pogo stick in my driveway with me there.

Sheesh. I teach my kids and try to have them love books. We are out there too.

Don't despair.

[edit on 15-10-2009 by KrazyJethro]

reply to post by OutlanderHuman24



DrDragonfly
If we don't give our children the space needed to develop them selfs and get in the way of their learning moments, we take away their chances of becoming responsible adults.

dolphinfan
-kids fight. Hell, they are supposed to fight. If someone came home with a bloody lip or black eye, your parents would ask you about it. If it just was a typical school-yard beef, that was the end of it. Now folks call the cops, make a big deal out of it.

hoghead cheese
Since they are sheltered and protected from everyone and everything there parents deem not desirable, can lead to the delusion.

ItIsWhatItIs
Taking risks = maturity

millionairemommy
They not only get healthy doses of outdoor play to encourage their creativity


Sorry about the confusion - My bad. The title of the thread was meant to be sarcastic. I think most people "got it", we don't actually think the kids got too stupid to play outside.

We're concerned about the children for the reasons the above posters mentioned and many more that haven't been touched on yet. The good thing is, rather than just complain about it we've had some excellent opinions on how this occurred, that might help new parents here on ATS.


You said-> "We recognize the many flaws in the education system, which is why lots of kids have trouble graduating."

We recognised the same and had a fairly high drop out rate at the time, but kids were quitting school to work. For example construction that paid great wages at that time. I realise with the economy the way it is, that would not be an option for kids now days. That's why it's more important than ever that you kids finish school.

You said -> "We can think what we want without having the parents shove their beliefs down our throats with what they "think" is right."

We could think these things as well, we had plenty of time as we weren't in the house all day. We were out first hand experiencing the world around us, which the kids can't do from sitting at home in front of a computer.

You said-> "So taking a chance in doing stupid stuff and getting physically hurt= maturity?"

No absolutely not, but from these things we learned to take care of others, basic first aid and so on.

By age ten or 11 we knew how to drink from cactus if we needed water, we as I said, knew basic first aid, we knew how to treat a rattle snake bite, we knew how to tell north from south if we were to get lost. From tree houses we learned how to build basic shelter if need be, we could fish, many of us knew how to shoot. I'm sure many posters can tell you the same types of things they learned (and more) for their geographic area's.

At 13 most of us knew how to not only drive, but to drive a stick shift and to get it started by pushing it, how to change a tire. Just in case something happened.

We learned how to deal with someone making fun of us and we learned how to take a black eye and a couple of scrapes (self defence) we also learned diplomacy. We didn't have to call the police. What we couldn't handle was diplomatically dealt with between the parents.

There are so many important and fun things that the youth is missing out on, that could mean the difference literally between life and death someday.

That's all were saying...

When i was a kid you got your ass tanned for misbehavior and people knew people all over town so most of the things you did your parents heard about even when they were no there. You learned not to be stupid after only a couple tanning's.

Now ass tanning is child abuse and most people don't know there neighbor much less other people around town.

I also know kids in calif are a lot more stupid then kids in texas.

In Texas they still tan kids ass in rural schools and i will bet that they get a second one when they get home.
How many gangs do you see in rural Texas towns. Something works.

i know i will hear from the people that don;t believe in corporal punishment,
but i will bet there kids are part of the problem.

reply to post by Sundancer


The unfortunate part sundancer is that what the PTB want is an entire society of "infantile" People. Childlike in their expectations of security. The PTB in fact are breeding a society who do trade Liberty for security.

In this society they are so screwed up, and void of real emotions that they demand "WARNINGS" everywhere, and on all things; however, they are desensitized at the same time to all things which truly reflect humanity. It is a sad time for the World.

On the bright side, now more than ever People are waking up. I guess in the long run the sheeple will be "outdated" by their Own choices, and the vaccines; while the waking People will rebuild.....as surely a crash is coming.

S&F

The Great Indoors

A vast change has overtaken suburbia in the past two generations. The archetypal suburb was first and foremost because that's where people moved to raise families. Lawns and parks and lots of other families with children defined the suburb as a children's paradise. In the cultural mythos of the American Dream, childhood proceeds along the lines of the Little Rascals or Dennis the Menace or the Berenstain Bears: long days playing outside with other children, building clubhouses and forts, jumping rope and playing hopscotch, catching frogs and turtles, biking all over the place . . . pickup games of baseball and tag . . . tea parties with the other girls . . . sledding and snowball fights. Children were seldom at home. They were at a neighbor's house, or over at the playground, or the vacant lot, or down by the pond. It didn't matter as long as they were back for dinner. Until recently, play was outdoors, public, and free of charge.

Where are the children now? This is the question I asked myself one winter Saturday as I walked through the empty suburban streets and past the deserted playgrounds of my home town. Finally I saw a tiny figure dressed in a pink snowsuit, a little girl standing at the edge of her yard, waist deep in the snow. She dipped her mitten into the snow for a taste. Four hundred families in this neighborhood, most of them with children, and only a single five-year-old outdoors on a Saturday afternoon. And I cannot imagine her staying there very long, alone in the snow, the stillness broken only by the passing cars and that odd-looking lone pedestrian. Her life happens indoors.

Life in a Playpen

When my son Matthew was four or five, he wanted a pocket knife just like his big brother. I decided to give him one, explaining carefully, "This knife is sharp, Matthew, and if you are not careful you will cut yourself." What happened? He was not careful, of course, and he cut himself. Not too seriously, but it hurt and there was blood. What did he learn from this? For one thing, he learned that knives are indeed dangerous—on their own merits, and not because one might get caught using one without permission. The second thing Matthew learned is that Dad is one smart dude. Dad was right about the knife. When Dad says something might happen, it's a good idea to listen.

No matter how deeply and thoroughly we frighten children with our power to invoke their survival anxiety, their natural curiosity and compulsion to test limits will eventually provoke them to "try it anyway," often in secret. When they find, as is often the case, that the consequences aren't as bad as their parents said they were, then parental authority loses all credibility. They find that no one loses an eye when they throw a paper airplane indoors, that they can smoke marijuana and not wake up in a crack house, that reading Harry Potter does not lead to Satanic ritual sacrifice. Now the stage is set for tragedy. On the one hand, they have always been insulated from the real consequences of their actions. On the other hand, the imposed substitute consequences (punishments) are no longer effective, because the wily teenager easily evades them by deceiving authority, not by abstaining from the behavior. The result is that the teenager acts as if he were immortal or invulnerable, and lies to his parents about everything he does.

[edit on 16-10-2009 by pai mei]

Excellent post topic! Its one that for a number of years now has been severely angering to me.. i call it the 'pussification of our youth' kids arent allowed to be kids anymore, they are wrapped in cotton and sheltered far more than any living thing should be.. the dangers in sheltering children to the extent many do today are many and not on topic here..but its got to be a mixture of both governmental influence, media conditioning and the parents themselves..
But i do believe kids are growing up in these days with a total, scary lack of common sense, something previous generations youth had not too long ago..logic thought also seems to escape many..being plugged into television and games on a near constant basis (as many are brought up with) food additives, usually affecting brain chemicals and body hormones causing mass problems (think the over used false label 'ADHD' for example) within the children, in general parents dont understand any of this, and it continues to make the situation even worse.. its scary, these are the generations that will one day be adults, hell knows how they will handle that when the time comes!! Because of these problems, kids cant be trusted to go off on their own and not do something stupid or damaging to others.. there used to be something called 'natural selection' long before technological advances and the kids that used to get killed by self induced accidents in past generations were taken out of the equation so to say..youth today also seem to drastically lack the psychological term 'one trial learning' ..as though these chemicals, television programming and terrible upbringings have closed off certain parts of the brain..the extremeness of things like political correctness madness and over the top health and safety regulations help nothing either.
I am not saying all parents are crap and that all kids today are moronic, but sadly it seems to be more so than not.. luckily our child escaped all of this, with a strong mind of his own..a proper boy.. and i know many others with 'real' kids i call them.. there is hope, but the numbers are becomin more and more overwhelming..

Originally posted by Doomsday 2029
reply to post by Sundancer

 

X-BOX, and internet is yet another...

This right here. I totally agree with you 100%. When i was a kid we was always out riding our bikes and yes there were at least 100+ kids throughout or neighborhood. We would all meet up at the play grounds or playing some kinda sports. Back then there were always a group of kids doing something and you always had something to do. But now and days... its kinda changed.

Simple answers.

Materialism, Yuppies, two parents working for more material goods, large houses, new cars, and more stuff they can't afford.

What's left?

Kids raising themselves while parents work, someone needs to be home. Playing the video games and on the computer, chat forums, cell phones with little supervision.

People need to stop blaming everything else but themselves.

Excuses always follow to cover a huge or maybe tender ego, but the fact remains if people have children, they and I mean they need to raise them.

Children are a full time job, not part time.

Originally posted by Sundancer

When did kids get so stupid that we could no longer allow them to be kids?
Why don't kids play outside in the states anymore?

There were pervs and killers when I was growing up too. What happened?
Was it because of the government, did our kids get dumber, or is it the parents?


[edit on 15-10-2009 by Sundancer]

[edit on 16-10-2009 by Realtruth]

When i was a kid we spent most of our summers "conkering" (Collecting conkers from these tree's from a nearby graveyard) But by the late 90's (Being 10-12 at this point) It all changed and all we seemed to do was stay in and play nintendo and ps.

Its a shame because i can honestly say i enjoyed being outside more then i did clocking zelda and playing GTA with a Birdseye view!
The problem is not only down to invention of computers and games but also a break down in society. Teenagers used to have places to go after school such as youth clubs. Now all they do is walk around in packs with nothing to and subsequently cause trouble without the consequence coming from parents. Getting into trouble for them goes from being a game to being the norm and then becomes widely accepted by the community which in turn has a break down in trust and communication.

It doesn’t help with the problem of kids raising kids. Half the reason 14 year olds dont have abortions is because they want to raise their kid to be little "mini me's" of them. I know people who teach their kids to be little buggers!
It would seem that the problem can be corrected with a change in attitude and an input of trust. Bringing back actual punishment will help, but it will take alot more then discipline. Obviously many people need parenting lessons and teenage pregnancy needs to be challenged openly and with truthful conviction.

I'm sorry for the rant XD

I would like to point out this:

My wife being Mexican, once had many family members living here in the States... and I can assure you that when we would let my oldest son stay over at her sister's apartment, he would go outside and play with many of the neighborhood kids.

The community was predominately Mexican, and obviously it was a low-income community... But that vibe that once existed for children in the 70's & 80's still exists in some of these low income communities that are somewhat dominated by one particular race.

I would like to also point out that the gang culture in the early 90's and the rise of gangsta rap probably added to that culture of fear for a lot of parents. There were a lot of so called crips and bloods, even in suburban neighborhoods.

I'm 17 and the youngest of three, and I'm here to state my childhood was full of fun adventures; overseas. I grew up spending 4 years in Germany and 8 in Hawaii, and man were those amazingly fun times. Hardly any rules, getting into trouble and running from authorities. I had many great friends. I would get home from school, do my work/chores, then be outside till dinner time, or whenever the fun stopped. We traveled on foot almost everywhere, explored non-inhabited areas, tried new things. We all found our true selves and lived it. We didn't fake our personalities, change the type of clothes we where, or talk and listen to the music the conformists were. But all the fun stopped coming back to the mainland USA.

My family moved back to the states last year, and more specifically Northern Virgina, and holy cow what a difference people are. Hardly any kids play outside, and if they do they have parents right behind them pretty much telling them what to do. Teens are all about the latest fad, having the best hair, and just overall trying to best the best conformist. They're life's consist of guys trying to score girls, and girls trying to score guys; it's all about sex now. When I was growing up in Hawaii from 2000-08, sex was the last thing on anyone's mind, and the only teens that did it were those who were in serious relationships. It was all about having fun with friends and going out and doing crazy things, even if it meant running from some cops occasionally.

"Gangs" are another thing killing our youth, especially the lower-income ones here in Northern Virgina, they think it's cool to mob defenseless kids and use weapons instead of fists. They take what they here in rap and hip-hop and translate it into their life's. Many don't care about school and ruining others education by being a distraction in class. In DC there is literally a shooting every weekend involving people less than 18 years old. Hell just the other day five kids got shot in a drive by, two died. They're ages were from 16-18.

I'm not trying to be racist at all, but the majority of African Americans and non-working Hispanics are eating this country inside out. Sure there's the few oddballs that do great in school and don't get themselves into trouble, but you can't disagree that the majority are doing no good for this country. And notice I said African Americans, because the blacks that actually come from Africa are really really nice people and work hard. Again, I am not trying to be racist. It's just what I've observed living in Northern Virginia. It's probably different in other ares, but not here.

I am really disappointed at today's youth, even though I'm still considering par of it. The things I think that are rotting our brains the most are TV(excluding movies), many types of music, the image many celebrities present, parents that have been influenced by MSM, social networking sites, and the need to look the best and fake yourself to fit into conformism.

(I'm not, what you'd call, a perfect composer of my words. I simply type what's on my mind disregarding grammar and fragments.)

/teenage rant

[edit on 16-10-2009 by grrrrt]

[edit on 16-10-2009 by grrrrt]

[edit on 16-10-2009 by grrrrt]

Originally posted by dolphinfan
reply to post by Sundancer

 

I agree with the points here and I too had a very similiar experience as a kid and grew up in an industrial city on the East Coast (not a garden spot). I think there a few other reasons:

-not only did older kids look out for the younger ones, parents looked out for kids as well. If someone was doing something to a kid or kids were destroying property there would be some curb-side justice. An adult fooling with kids would get a savage beating, right there. If the cops came they ignored it, today you would be arrested.

-people sue other people for stuff that just happens. Fall off another kid's swingset? Sue the kid's family. That kind of thing did not happen when I was a kid. It was assumed that kids were going to get hurt in the course of being kids. Nobody would ever dream of suing somebody for a typical accident, broken bones, etc.

-kids fight. Hell, they are supposed to fight. If someone came home with a bloody lip or black eye, your parents would ask you about it. If it just was a typical school-yard beef, that was the end of it. Now folks call the cops, make a big deal out of it.

-kids are spoiled far too much. there was no inside play when I was a kid. Outside all day unless the weather was savage.

-the biggest issue though is that kids are far to organized by adults. league play starts at 5 and kids are constantly engaged in adult organized activities. The kind of thing you're talking requires an active imagination and IMO that is being stripped out of kids and it is not a good thing.

www.childhelp.org...

In 1982, Childhelp began operation of the Childhelp® National Child Abuse Hotline, 1-800-4-A-CHILD®, which operates 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and has received as many as 300,000 calls annually from throughout the United States, Canada, the U.S. Virgin Islands, Puerto Rico and Guam

The above is what I think really started it all. Don't get me wrong, child abuse is criminal but this really was pushed hard during 'Reaganomics' when First Lady Nancy Reagan was pushing this along with her 'Just say No' campain. Every kid had that number memorized. With big billboards with 'Just Say No!' alongside another billboard saying 'Report Child Abuse- 1-800-4-A-CHILD' what would you expect? We are all a little rebellious in our youth but when you couldn't even spank your child on their behind in public because of the fear of being turned in for abuse and going to jail, disiplining and trying to show a child the difference between right and wrong and to respect others went right out the window.

This is when I feel the government started raising our children instead of the parents.

We should go back to a one income household. I'm not saying women shouldn't work and stay home. The man could stay at home, but why mess with thousands of years of a proven system?

Almost 20 years old, living in France.
I grew up in a flat, in a medium sized city (like 300 000 inhabitants).
I spent my whole childhood in the city, almost never been in nature.

I think the main problem now is that kids have no time to be kids anymore. I mean, here in France, we had to go to school from half past eight to half past four (and some kids, whose parents worked, even stayed there as late as 6 PM). Then, back home, time for homework. I finished around 6 PM, often later. So, I barely had the time to play video games for 20 to 40 minutes before lunch time then bed time.
On wednesdays, I had to go to various activities, then time for more homework. Sometimes on saturdays, I went to some friend's home, but well... Playing with your friends one afternoon every seven days is far from being enough.

Also, I just forbid everyone to blame video games and internet for what's happening !
Come on, video games built me. They were my only way to evade the everyday sad routine, to think of what could happen if this or that was different. They learnt me to think out of the box. And among all the people I know, geeks are the ones that seem the most intelligent, the ones that think by themselves, the ones that dare not being a sheep like the rest.

reply to post by Longtimegone


Me and my wife are struggling financially, but we've made our sacrifices and we are rolling with system right now.

It sucks not having the extra cash, but at least my kids get to see their mom during the day.

But on a positive note (for me personally), it's good to see her have the extra time to keep the house clean, do the laundry, and basically all the household duties. Raising the kids, working a 9-5, and keeping up with the household chores was a bit too much for her.

There were times when I would work during the day and she would work at night,... And the last thing I wanted to do after working a 9-5 was to take care of a 6 month old baby all by myself. It was like working two jobs.

I don't know how much longer we can keep this way of life going financially, but I guess it's up to me if I want to get a better job in this rough economy.

And when our kids do go out and do some of the same things we did, like skateboarding, this is what they encounter

You never had xbox or playstation when you were a kid.

Now kids think killing things is fun.

back in the day when the kids roamed till the street lights came on - 10 dollars an hour was enough to run a house hold too. now adays thats not enough to pay your housing costs let alone get you food.

Video games are not to blame - we had those too, and they kept us inside but out of trouble.

You're making huge generalizations!

Some kids still do those exact things that you mentioned that you once did.

Others don't.

There is no conspiracy here.

Just saying...

the media is forcing children to grow up quicker. They have role models like Hannah Montana and Paris Hilton and we wonder why kids act so obnoxious.
Heres some lyrics by the Pussy Cat Dolls which many young girls listen to and look up to:
Boys call you sexy
And you don?t care what they say
See every time you turn around
They screaming your name
Boys call you sexy
And you don?t care what they say
See every time you turn around
They screaming your name
Now I've got a confession
When I was young I wanted attention
And I promised myself that I?d do anything
Anything at all for them to notice me
But I ain't complaining
We all wanna be famous
So go ahead and say what you wanna say
You don?t know what its like to be nameless
Want them to know what your name is
Cuz see when I was younger I would say
When I grow up
I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star
I wanna be in movies
When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have groupies
When I grow up
Be on TV
People know me
Be on magazines
When I grow up
Fresh and clean
Number one chick
When I step out on the scene
And lets not forget the song Dont Cha:
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Dont cha, dont cha
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me
Dont cha, dont cha
And we wonder why teenage pregnancies are through the roof?!