posted on May, 26 2009 @ 09:07 PM
Honestly, I can say I'm not really all that scared of death itself.
I'm far more terrifeid of pain, whether in life or in some sort of afterlife. In fact, the idea of an afterlife is more loathesome to me than
the idea of inky black nothingness. Eighty or ninety years of this "consciousness" stuff is far more than any sane being should have to put up with.
Some may retort, "you say that now, but when you are actually faced with death you will change your mind." This argument would have stopped me in my
tracks at one point in my life, but now I can honestly answer that I know what I fear and don't fear because I have, in fact, faced death. Several
times. Once in a horrible plane crash in indonesia, and once when on my near-deathbead from a very nasty liver disease. In both cases death was
looking me in the eyeballs and I can honestly say I was ready to go, calm and collected.
I remember this strange calm during the plane crash, the engine exploded and I coud see the flames on the wing as the plane dropped sickeningly like a
brick. I even remember thinking, "well, here I am about to die and I'm surprised I don't feel more anxiety about it." I lived through it, even
though the crashing plane destroyed twelve houses in Jakarta. It even made the US news at the time (many years ago now).
So I can, with complete confidence say I don't fear death per se. That does not mean I am a fearless being...far from it. I'm often eaten up with
anxiety about details big and small. But death is not among my fears. Its a calm and well-deserved rest to be looked forward to.
[edit on 5/26/09 by silent thunder]