Police say mom ordered daughters out, drove off

Originally posted by greeneyedleo
Im a mom. And no matter how my child behaves, I will NEVER EVER leave her somewhere like that. Not in this day in age. There are just so many things that can go very wrong that could be avoidable. I, as a responsible parent, would never take that risk.

If others do, so be it. But never will I.

I think all of us moms here are in agreement on this! We teased our kids that we would "ship them to Alaska to live with the mooses" but it was always a joke and never said in anger or frustration.

reply to post by Byrd


I tell mine I'm sending them to Bolivia to work as coffee bean pickers... Usually works

reply to post by LeaderOfProgress


I ask myself the same question. I have a rebellious 12 year old daughter. She has been skipping school and has gotten us in trouble along with herself. We have tried grounding (which is useless) along with all the other "scare tactics" you read about, to no avail.

She has learned through her friends and school. That if I whoop her ass (which is deserved) that she can make a phone call and we are disciplined for disciplining our child. On the other hand we are also disciplined by the courts because we are not making sure she goes to school.

I ask what is the answer? If you have a willful intelligent child who refuses to abide by the rules, what is the answer short of sending her off to foster care? Or having her taken from you because you impose your will on her and it violates said child rearing protical?

They have made it so the child has more rights than the parents. I can fully understand why this woman followed through with her threat. If she didn't then her threats would become hollow and the children would just do as they will anyways.

The article doesn't explain enough detail as to what happen. She could have dropped them off and circled the block in order to scare them. While she rounded the corner the children could have called 911 and started an investigation.

I am totally against the whole "it takes a village to raise a child" concept. I have my own beliefs and values that I want to instilled in my children. Whether they accept them or not is on them. I don't need 100 different views and takes on life thrown at them before the age of accountability. It just undermines my beliefs and authority as a parent. Especially when it comes from people who don't have children or any experience, dictating the laws on parental rights.

I guess its easy to vilify this mother without knowing the circumstances or intent leading up to this coarse of action.

I can simpithize with her and her frustration, having tried numerous other tactics to no avail.

I will be curious to follow up with this story, to find out why she did what she did, and the court findings concerning the matter.

Sorry I rambled on a bit here. I too am frustrated and could have easily found myself in a similar situation even though my intentions could have been interpreted wrongly.

Originally posted by LeaderOfProgress
Please do pray tell why you think that a child should not be allowed to walk home. There is not a thing wrong with a child walking, if anything it is the best thing people can do for their shut in children these days. Too much artificial entertainment, not enough physical activities.

I undestand this may not have been the best area to do it but it was far from neglect or abandoment in any case. The worst thing that should have happened was a stearn talking to by the police to the mother. The situation has gone too far and should not have resulted in protective orders or suspension of parental rights. PERIOD.

I am all for kids walking and excercising, but in today's society, it's sometimes not even safe to let your kids go around the block on their bikes. That would be my only concern.

I think society can not judge her till they know more about her situation, and the kids in question.

Originally posted by HooHaa
reply to post by LeaderOfProgress

 

I ask myself the same question. I have a rebellious 12 year old daughter. She has been skipping school and has gotten us in trouble along with herself. We have tried grounding (which is useless) along with all the other "scare tactics" you read about, to no avail.

Does your child still have tv, nintendo, computer access, Ipod access, extra allowance money? If you don't go to work you don't get paid, so if she is not going to school is she still getting paid? (TV and all those other perks?)

Does she get phone access and time to play with those same friends giving her all that great info?

I have used very similar tactics that some are calling "mean" on my children. Yet I do not have any mean teenagers. My children are very good examples of how teenagers going through the stress of their age should be. They get into tiffs with each other but nothing serious. They are very respectable to others and are very good examples for those around them.

Everyone keeps saying that this is damaging but I see no proof of it. Like I said before, maybe the place she chose wasn't the best location but her actions were not bad. If I felt the location was bad I would turn the radio up and drive to the countryside then let them out and drive around the section to make my point.

As to the 12 year old parent. If it were me I would try to change schools and similar to what was said above I would strip their room down to the walls.

When i was growing up it was the norm for your parents, granparents, aunts, uncles to physically disipline you, it taught us that there were consequences to our actions. It didn't kill us, just let us know that if we got out of line their was a price to be paid. When i had my boys i raised them the same way and they learned the same thing. They're still here and full grown, kept em off the streets and out of prison. And now my grandchildren are being raised the same way, there is nothing wrong with disipline, as long as it doesn't turn into abuse.

The problem today is that the government is too intrusive into the way we raise our children and many parents fear disiplining their children and they soon become out of control, then the parents don't know how to fix it and of course then the courts say you didn't do your job right.

But i have to say that i think she was wrong to leave her children like that, in the blink of an eye a child molester could have snatched up one or both of those girls and we would have been seeing quite a different story. Then everybody would be saying she was wrong and it was her fault. I have never and never would have ever left my boys like that. I'm sorry but you just don't leave your children by the side of the road for anyone to grab like that.

What i really don't understand is why the older sister left the younger one to fend for herself . My boys are two years apart and if anything like that had ever happened to them i can guarantee you that the oldest would have never left the youngest one's side.

reply to post by LeaderOfProgress

As to the 12 year old parent. If it were me I would try to change schools and similar to what was said above I would strip their room down to the walls.

I did the same thing and I went a step further. I removed all the TV's from the house. I had gone sour on TV any way so it was no big lost for me.

They had to earn back every single privilege. It took months for them to do it but needless to say they learned their actions had consequences and came with a price.

Big deal. I woulda rather been dropped off on the side of the road. It sure beat one parent telling the other to hold the wheel while we got slapped upside the head.

Granted, we where acting like idiots. Anyways, from the way the article is worded I would hazard a guess she came back for them.

And the most important moral of the story?

The kids won't act like retards in the back seat anymore, will they?

reply to post by Rockpuck


You must have read the article that was altered. She didn't come back for them, the 12 year old ran after and caught up to her and she let her back in. The 10 year old was found by someone who bought her ice cream and called the police, the mother went home and reported her missing.

What if the person that found the ten year old had been a child molester and that little girl was never seen alive again?


Edit for spelling

[edit on 4/23/2009 by chise61]

reply to post by chise61


Eesh.. someone found her and bought her ice cream .. very lucky it was someone nice and not a creeper. Well I take my defense back of the mother.. shes a moron.. driving all the way home..

I would have pulled around the corner and watched their terrified faces, then reversed back to pick them up.

*please don't take me entirely seriously..*

If she did not go back for them then she is very much in the wrong. I would not have left and not come back unless you live in rural areas and you let them out within a couple of miles from the house. Here where I live you can let the kids ride bikes everywhere and anywhere. It is nothing to let the kids roam around town to go to friends houses or play at the park.

This is what I have found in one of the latest new article apparently from the area.

www.nytimes.com...

The 12-year-old chased the car and got back in. The 10-year-old was left alone and was eventually comforted by a passer-by who bought her an ice cream and contacted the police. When Ms. Primoff came to pick up her daughter, she was arrested on charges of endangering the welfare of a child, a misdemeanor, and held in jail overnight. Ms. Primoff, a partner specializing in international finance with the firm Kaye Scholer, is free on $1,500 bail and due back in court on May 21.

CHERYL KESSNER, a social worker who raised five children, said Ms. Primoff made a mistake, but the girls were left, for however long, in a safe commercial district, not a dangerous neighborhood. She said the reaction was as much about the overly anxious, safety-obsessed standards of suburbia as Ms. Primoff’s flawed judgment.

It sounds like the girls were not put into some foster care, but sent home, which is good, but the mother was put in jail over night. Sorry, this is ridiculous. I think the judge who ordered this should be put in jail for gross abuse of power. It also sounds like the mother is now locked out of her own home.

When did the state get put in charge of judging our every action? I know things have been this way for awhile now, but I have to ask when this became acceptable.

If doctors can be sued for negligence, then why can't judges? People always talk about how the federal government abuses peoples rights, but from everything I have experienced, local court judges are the biggest abusers.

Do you people really think the local courts should have this power over peoples lives?

reply to post by poet1b


I don't think a judge ordered her to be jailed overnight. There are some charges that have a set bond and you are either released on an I-bond or released when someone comes to pay your bond. There are other charges that have no set bond and you have to go in front of a judge to have your bond set. She was probably arrested after the court closed for the day and had to stay in jail overnight to go in front of a judge for a bond hearing the next morning.

Originally posted by LeaderOfProgress

Everyone keeps saying that this is damaging but I see no proof of it. Like I said before, maybe the place she chose wasn't the best location but her actions were not bad. If I felt the location was bad I would turn the radio up and drive to the countryside then let them out and drive around the section to make my point.

That's the difference you would basically drive around the block to prove a point, she didn't. She left a 10 year old child out in the streets by herself, the child probably had no idea how to even get home from where she was.

The damage comes in in the fact that she has now broken her daughter's trust in her, and taken away her sense of safety. A child that age depends on their parents for almost everything. What you would have done was to show your child that you meant business, but that you would always be there. What she did was to show her child that if she caused her too much frustration she would abandon her. She took away the child's belief that mom would always be there for her and keep her safe, that's a terrible thing to do to a child.

reply to post by chise61


If they arrested her, that means the judge issued a warrant for arrest, which was uncalled for. The judge also apparently put a restraining order against the mother, which makes no sense. There is no evidence what so ever that the mother had any intentions of physically harming the child.

Nobody really knows what happened here, and the statements that the 12 year old ran and caught the car are conflicting with the original statements that the 12 yer old caught up with her mother later. Which story is the real story? If the twelve year old got back in the car, why didn't the 10 year old? The 10 year old girl "was eventually comforted by a passer-by who bought her an ice cream and contacted the police." Does the girl walk to an ice cream store where the stranger buys her ice cream, or does she get into the car of a stranger, who takes her to the ice cream store? There is a Galleria, and a mall about a block away, was that where the girl was when someone bought her some ice cream? If the girl was in the mall, was she in danger? Were any attempts made to call the mother before calling the police?

Why didn't the girl have the stranger call her mother on her cel phone to come and get her? Ah, but the judge decides to step in and take charge of this girls parenting. I would send the 10 year old to a strict private boarding school and send the bill to the judge. The courts should not be putting the children in charge of the parents. At some point in time, children need to be taught that they are responsible for their own actions and decisions.

How does it break the trust. If anything it reinforces the trust. Look at it this way, more than likely they were warned. The warning was then acted upon, that alone cause more respect from the child. This does not cause a child to not trust their parents anymore. The worst case scenario is that it will cause the child to actually fear their parents reaction if they start acting up. My children trust me. How could they, I am the person who issues all punishments in my house. Yet my children love me and trust me. I am the first one they call if they need help or are in trouble. They know I am here to protect them and will do so if they need it. All this did was open a childs eyes and bring fear of consequence back into their life. So once again how can this damage a child?

The lesson seems to be, screw what your parents tell you, if they do anything that allows the child to accuse them of being bad parents, the local authorities will arrest your parents and put them in jail.

I am amazed that people aren't outraged by the judge having the woman jailed. Do you really think the state should be empowered to micromanage how parents raise their children?

reply to post by poet1b


No it does not mean that the judge issued a warrant for her arrest. It means that the police have a set of laws that they must uphold and what she did is considered child endangerment so when she went to pick her daughter up they had to arrest her and charge her with child endangerment, which means she had to stay in jail until she saw a judge to set bail, which is what happened.

I have no idea why the judge issued a restraining order against the mother, perhaps there is a history that we are not made aware of that the judge is privy to.

I have no idea why the 12 year old was able to catch up to the car and the 10 year old wasn't, maybe the 10 year old was so scared by the actions of the mother and then the sister leaving her that she just stood there and cried. The mother is supposed to be the adult here not the child, the mother is responsible to care for the child and keep her safe, not throw her out of a car and leave her to fend for herself (also possibly making her a target for sexual predators) because she is too frustrated to take care of her children. If her two daughters bickering in the back seat caused her to become so frustrated that she would do that then IMO she obviously needs some parenting classes or something.

Yes there is a potential element of danger for any child that is left unattended in a public place. You seem to be implying that she was safe because she was in a mall, Adam walsh was abducted while in a Sears department store with his mother three aisles away from him.

www.amw.com...


According to the DOJ in 1999 there were an estimated 58,200 child victims of non-family child abductions.

www.missingkids.com...


"Most strangers grab their vitims on the street, or try to lure them into their cars"

"About 74% of victims of non-family abductions are girls"


www.yellodyno.com...

So yes by leaving her daughter alone in the street like that she was potentially placing her daughter at risk.

Why would someone attempt to call the mother after she threw her out of the car ? Honestly if i had been the one to find that little girl and she told me that her mother had thrown her out of the car and left like that, damn straight i would've called the police.

You would send a 10 year old to a strict boarding school because she was argueing with her sister

I don't see where (in this case) the courts put the children in charge of the parents. You don't teach children that they are responsible for their own actions and decisions by abandoning them in the street for an arguement between siblings. How is it that you seem to turn this whole thing around and lay the blame at the feet of a 10 year old child

THe biggest turnoff to me is how the media gets into every thing that happens and exploits personal stories for a headline. The woman snapped, ok, it doesn't make her a criminal.

If your curious of how I handled problem teenagers read this:

www.abovetopsecret.com...