Ok, I'm scared to death, honestly... (mason/family related)

okay. sorry that this is my first thread, but i really need to talk to someone about this, who actually knows about the masons.

ok, im from a family where my father is a high degree master mason.
my father is a very very high tempered, strange man. he has some serious psychological problems which have stemmed since, childhood, or even birth.. his own father was a lunatic and was violent and was treated for psychiatric problems.

my dad has treated me and my mom like # for as long as i can remember.
and my dad joined the lodge in the late 90s and quickly got up in the ladder and pretty much got himself involved in some other lodges as well and it became his life.
he got even worse after joining the masons and turned into an even more controlling nutcase. very emotionally manipulative and abusive. now he, doesnt see this. everyone else around him sees it, but him. he thinks everyone else is wrong and hes right and he strives on drama. he 'needs' drama and pretty much has even admitted that in the past.

when he joined the masons, well before he did, he had originally wanted to get in with the KKK or some other racial group, but then quickly joined the masons instead. odd. for some reason the other groups didnt want him in.

anyways... a year ago, my mother died, and a few months later, i moved to another state to be with my now fiance. my father, however, was furious about this action.
i got a good job, and am happy with my fiance and our life together and everything is great here. its been almost 7 months now.
i keep in touch with my father occasionally on the phone, but some recent dramas came up (back home) that made it hard for me to deal with him and how he was acting towards me about them, which well, were just the typical blames and manipulations hes always done since i was a child... and am not sure whats what. if its manipulation or what.
my stressing and jumpiness about it all has been making me a nervous wreck and his calling and not understanding a darn thing about anything or how hes been acting about certain things. and its taking a toll on my sanity because of the amount of time he bugs the crap out of me, calling. harassing my fiances parents for gods sake (and we are nearly 30 yrs old), and being the typically possessive nutcase. and frankly, i hate the toll its taking on my relationship. my fiance has been nothing but great and supportive, but i hate when i get upset and he has to witness it.

so, my father and i had a bit of a spat 2 weeks ago and ever since, ive not really been talking to him. i didnt return the last 2 phone calls he made to me and he left a nasty voicemail to me today threatening to harass my fiances parents again and get one his "mason connections" to go and check up on me down here.


now, in other situations, id have cut his ass off already... but my fear is.. i dont know what hes capable of, honestly. this whole mason thing.
how much danger can i be in if he wanted revenge or to create some problem? could he? he has never been to the state im in now nor does he know anyone personally here, but he got a list of names of masons and crap from here. i know that for a fact.

im just fearing what these masons are capable of.

i just wanna live my life. and be happy... and not have to deal with this crap anymore.
but it seems if i dont keep in touch with him every single day or i disagree with something or him being a jerk and continuing his mental # with me everytime we talk (as its been all my life), then he gets all weird and freaks out and acts all possessive

this is a man whose threatened to kill people, over bull#.
this is a man who would literally measure and record the exact areas of a parking spot to see if me or my mom had driven anywhere when we didnt have plans to and would check mileage like a maniac and go berzerk if either of us even went around the block to pick up a pizza.

so, should i be worried? whats the worst a mason can do? connections? framing us? what?

i really am scared. he has tried to set people up before, but i dont know how far he'd ever gotten with it. most of those were people at his work or even in his own lodge. (one of which he thought was a closet gay, so he and another lodge guy tried to set him up. nice.)

If you feel you are in danger, then i suggest speaking to a lawyer or maybe the Police.

Failing that, inform some of your closest friends about the situation and try and keep a cool head,

You father has nor right to control your life, sounds like he gets strength from his power trip, avoid giving him your energy.

Remember keep a cool head.

It sounds like your father is a real nut case. (no disrespect) I suggest you separate yourself from him quickly and if he threatens you contact the authorities. But don't let it take over your life or cause you to be a nervous wreck. I know that's probably easier said than done. As far as him getting one of his masonic connections, these actions are prohibited in Masonry. The system of Masonry is not set up for this type of behavior. Unfortunately, some of the men who go through the degrees do not take them seriously, your father seems to be one of them.

If you really want me to be your child then you need to respect me,

I know how you are and I know what you do.

You need to be alone and deal with your problems before you do something you'll end up regreting.

Please stop treating me as if I am your property.
I AM NOT AN OBJECT.
I AM A PERSON.
I want to be happy and enjoy what I've worked for.
Don't threaten me. Don't pursue me.
I want to help you but you need to learn how to accept me, my fiancee, and my life as we are.

Not as how you want us to be.



---------------------------

Something like that.

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[edit on 20-1-2009 by dbates]

Actually, Masons may be the best way to deal with him. Contact his lodge. Tell them your concerns about his mental health and stability. If they're closer to him, and see him more regularly, they may have noticed the change as well. (Or maybe they're too close and aren't aware that it's going on.) Tell his Masonic friends that you're concerned for him, and if they're good brethren, they may be the ones in the best position to offer him counseling.

I really wouldn't worry. There is no Masonic hit squad. Any try to intimidate a Brother's family member would be conduct unbecoming a Brother and Mason. This would subject them to contempt of all good Brothers and probably expulsion.

If he ever tried to get one of his "Mason connections" to harass you, it wouldn't work. They would just reject his request, and he would probably get in trouble or call unwanted attention to himself for approaching a brother to take part in such an outrageous action. These sorts of abuses of the brotherhood do not fly in the lodge, despite what many people on this forum believe.

Quantum,

Not to put too fine of an edge on this but cut this man out of your life, father or not. If and/or when things in your life align to the point that you have it within you to deal with his drama, do it then and not a moment before.

Your life is yours and not your father's.

mr-lizard & JoshNorton have already given you the best advice.

Nobody should feel compelled to take that sort of grief.

Keep yer stick on the ice

Fitz

My father is a Mason and he is not a nut case.

He sounds like he just needs some help.

Sounds like he has a narsosistic personality with a need to control.

It is probably a good thing you are away from him. Problem with narcissists is that they will not admit they have a problem.

Ama

thankyou for all of the quick replies. wow.

well, i dont know. i do know every lodge is different. just some of the guys in his lodge dont seem very, together mentally, i guess i could say. ive met some who are super cool and others who are very disrespectful and were very much so at my mom's funeral, especially to me, for some reason. or its just these particular people are. im not saying all masons are like this, just the ones i met that hes connected with seem quite strange and a couple very similar to my dad. thats what im kind of afraid of. him teaming up with one of the like-minded ones. i know my dad doesnt like my fiances family. though, hes never met them, but he bases it on one convo on the phone and the fact that they are very religious and made a few religious references to my dad regarding ways to handle a certain situation regarding me. and my dad kind of twisted things in his mind about that. now, my fiance isnt like that. i guess one thing im worried about is my dad trying to perhaps mess something up for my fiance's parents. he seems more angry about them for some reason than anything, which really makes no sense.

well, maybe the mere fact that my future father in law told my dad he needs to calm down and let me live my life, and how im gonna be 30 and that to try and actually listen to me for once and actually hear what ive been trying to say for years. plus he made a comment to my dad that he wondered "oh why would a nearly 30 year old woman have such a problem communicating with her father like that.. makes one wonder..."
as in, he knew already about how my dad is from me and my fiance, so he kinda threw a shot at my dad and my dad was pissed off about that. i guess thinking i guess i said some stuff. though, my dad, again thinks hes the greatest person in the world.

really sorry to hear about this situation.

Just like to say, im not a mason, but am pretty sure that your fathers behavior does not represent the general consensus of the masonic community. In fact if you speak to the lodge he belongs to, im sure they will help you deal with this, and may speak to him, as it seems these are the only people he will listen to.

You could take legal action, as bad as it may sound, it could be the best option if he really means business. A restraining order for example could work, untill you both reach an agreement and sort your problems out.

Do you still have his voicemail saved on your phone? That could be really usefull in your aid for help, from law, to his mason friends. Maybe contact your local lodge and explain to them what your father has said as they may also be able to help you, im pretty sure these are not going to be super ninjas waiting on his command.

Also different techniques to protect your energy and aura would help, as Mr. Lizard suggested.

Hope everything works out for you, Peace

[edit on 19-1-2009 by The 5th]

Originally posted by mr-lizard
If you feel you are in danger, then i suggest speaking to a lawyer or maybe the Police.

No he can't turn there many lawyers, judges and police are masons. Don't trust those people.

reply to post by QuantumSquid

Document his threats and call the police. Depending on what state you are in if you may be able to get him Baker acted for up to 72 hours which would at least provide a diagnosis. There are no Masonic hit squads, he'll be lucky if they don't pitch him out. They really hate bad pr! Most of them are just bored businessmen and retirees anyway, maybe they just keep him around for a laugh, I've worked with a few people like your dad in the past couple of years and that's how they kept their jobs. Having witnessed how dangerous they can be, I back you up, threats are not funny.

Not to pry but have you checked into counseling? Your local mental health association probably has groups for adult survivors of child abuse or the relatives of mentally ill people. It may do you a lot of good to talk to people who have been through a similar problem, social networks are a very important way to deal with trauma. Good luck and let us know how it goes!

Originally posted by In nothing we trust

Originally posted by mr-lizard
If you feel you are in danger, then i suggest speaking to a lawyer or maybe the Police.

No he can't turn there many lawyers, judges and police are masons. Don't trust those people.

Based on the following, I would agree here.

Remember there are groups withing groups, some good, some not.

I have a friend who was adopted to a man, by the Catholic Church, who was not only a mason but also a past mayor of our town.
The abuse he has suffered during his childhood life is heart breaking.

He is now about 45 yrs old and he's trying to get the cops to bring charges aginst this guy.
Problem is most of our local cops are also masons and have been doing everything they can to not only warn and protect, but inhibit the legal process.

Most of the time these things are better faced alone, but if you must call on others, be carefull who you do call on.

If a legal approach was not possible, there are many other groups, other than masons, who may be willing to help you in your situation.

reply to post by QuantumSquid



Go to the police and tell them what's happening. ALL religions are full of nutcases. ALL OF THEM. If you are afraid go to the police or child protective services. NOW.

Of you can stay and live a very horrible and threatened life. That is NO way to live.

I am suprised that someone with your fathers blatant personality problems has risen to a high degree in his lodge. I for one would cut him from my life and tell your fiance`s parents to do the same. I do not think you would be in any danger from his connections as most of the brothers would see that what he is asking is both unreasonable and a bit mad. I would report this to the police though so that if anything does happen then you have some come back. If I where you I would do what I normally do to my ex girlfriends, change the email, phone, mobile, and maybe even the address then there is no way he could screw with you. Good luck you seem like you have had a terrible time of it and I wish you all the happiness in the world with your new partner

Originally posted by On the level
I am suprised that someone with your fathers blatant personality problems has risen to a high degree in his lodge. I for one would cut him from my life and tell your fiance`s parents to do the same. I do not think you would be in any danger from his connections as most of the brothers would see that what he is asking is both unreasonable and a bit mad. I would report this to the police though so that if anything does happen then you have some come back. If I where you I would do what I normally do to my ex girlfriends, change the email, phone, mobile, and maybe even the address then there is no way he could screw with you. Good luck you seem like you have had a terrible time of it and I wish you all the happiness in the world with your new partner

well, thing is.. if i changed my email, phone, etc.. he'd be calling the police saying ive been brainwashed or kidnapped or some crap. and start all kinds of crap with that.

You can always turn to God for support and heavily arm yourself.

[edit on 19-1-2009 by In nothing we trust]