Man Pays $12,000 in Support, Finds Out Child Not His

I've since initially posting my reply asked around on this topic. It is, after all local to me...
The man that fathered the child in question has an identical name as the wrongly punished man. I think the middle initial differs, but most certainly would be differentiated by their SSN. The wrongly accused was declared the father in absentia by Domestic Relations at a paternity hearing.
Did I mention that the only reason Domestic Relations wanted to ascertain the father's identity is that the mother of the child filed for Welfare (cash assistance), and DPW rules state that single mothers who file must establish a support case for each child. Period. This is how the whole mess began.
The mother of the child is absent, and the maternal grandmother assisted in the rearing of the child for a time, but is not a custodial parent (?). Here's where the shadiness comes into play.
The grandmother, and indeed the child's mother could have cleared the innocent man at any time, and pointed Domestic Relations in a more accurate direction. Domestic Relations acted apathetic (to a near criminal degree) towards the poor man. They knew all along what was happening but did little if anything to avert the error.
Heads should roll over this, but like most things here in glorious Harrisburg... I'm sure it will be swept under the rug.

Welcome to the Quaker State!

reply to post by bloodcircle



I would rather be a disgusting person than a subnormal with a reading comprehension problem. Please note that I was referring to what happened to a friend of mine. I really don't think talking about the human condition is something to be repelled by. Your reaction clearly shows that you are immersed in things that you find disgusting causing you to blindly attack others.

Someone in Australia payed $70 000 for the same reason.
It was on the news recently.

I would consider the guy who paid support and was a father to the kid prior to finding out he wasnt the father as a hero and a person who accepted the responsibility.

Where was the real father during that time?

I too would be upset if I found out my kid wasnt mine, but I dont think I would just drop support or stop being a father to the child just because of a DNA test.

The parent-child relationship develops and to break that is like ripping the heart out of the child. It is the worst thing anyone could do to a child, take away the child's only recognized security of having that parent-child link.


I also think that in these cases, some kind of investigation should also be done in regards to the mother. Obviously mom's know more about who is their kid's father than anyone before a DNA test can be done.


I remember seeing an episode of Montel where a mother who kept blaming guy after guy after guy that they were the father. They must have gone through 20 or so DNA tests to find out. Ever time this mother would swear this guy or that guy IS the father, only to be proven wrong when the test results came back. She later admitted that she already knew who the father was, but did not want to reveal that because she felt that person would not be a good father to her child.

I would think that it is the mother who is the bad apple in that case, hiding for so long the real father from the child, and making that poor child's expectations of finding their real dad a sad ending each and every time. Obviously that mother was not putting the child's interest first, only her own deception.

So blame cannot be put just on fathers or those who take up the responsibility of being a father to kids that are not theirs. Mothers too need to step up and do right for the child, and be honest about the whole thing. Most mothers do, but there are those out there that want to hide their "playing the field" for the sake of not being labled as "the neighborhood whore".

"Think about the children..or the children"...Jefferson Starship-Grace Slick




Cheers!!!!

Originally posted by InSpiteOf
reply to post by jsobecky

 

Now that is BS, the guy should be at least entitled to his money back.

Just seems to add insult to injury that he spent time in jail...

Yep... and the Mother should be forced to work it off.

Either that or the Judge which found him to be the Father of the child without so much as a blood test.

JUSTICE! I WANT JUSTICE!

Originally posted by RFBurns
I would consider the guy who paid support and was a father to the kid prior to finding out he wasnt the father as a hero and a person who accepted the responsibility.

Where was the real father during that time?

I too would be upset if I found out my kid wasnt mine, but I dont think I would just drop support or stop being a father to the child just because of a DNA test.

A man doesn't want to HAVE to pay child support for his own child, let alone that of another.

Seriously, a Man wants to support his child because he wants to, not because he has to. If he is MADE to through law, then he is even more reluctant to, well, because he's a male and males don't want to be FORCED to be fathers. Unfortunately, there isn't a law which says you only have to pay child support after it's been proven that you don't financially particiapte in the childs life. It's just a given. In most states, if you are a divorced father, then you are a meal ticket for the mother.

yea, I paid over $40,000 in child support for a child who turned out not to be mine and the mother knew it.

What's more, some states have laws that prevent a man from not continuing to financially support and house a pregnant woman even if she admits the child is not his. Minnesota, I believe, has that law. A guy can be living with a woman, married to her or simply cohabiting, and she can admit to an affair, and so long as she is pregnant, he can legally do nothing whatsoever until after the child is born. Even then, the state has some laws in place that will place that man, even if the child isn't his, on the hook for supporting the child if the real father cannot be found. The law is completely based on cohabitation.

Moral of story, choose your mate very carefully, guys. The times when a man can sow his wild oats indescriminately have passed. I've had friends who's lives have been turned upside down by a phone call a couple months after a one night stand. Thank God I've never recieved such a call. Unfortunately, as long as the law continues to stack the deck against us men, no level of precaution can insure we don't get screwed somehow from the system.

In some states, a child born during marriage is presumed to be the husband's. If the spouses divorce, they are not permitted to bastardize the child. The ex-huband will be ordered to pay support within his means, even if the child turns out not to be his.

Ewww, ouch--burn.

Sounds like the taxpayer and these modern corporations- Somebody with some sort of legitimate authority is telling them their money must be allocated to some bank or car company that isn't theirs.


Let Maury solve this one.

Kinda of a reverse situation for me. My wife and I married 17 yrs ago, she came to the marriage with 4 children (by 3 fathers) I came into it with 3 from my first wife...we both had custody of our respective children.

In the 17yrs that followed I have never once been paid child support by any of the fathers, 1 has dissappeared, 1 is in a Florida prison, and one has been ordred to pay my wife 32k back child support, but he does not work and when he does its under the table pay..so I will never see any of that $$

Heres what I take pride in though,ALL of the children call me Dad...I have been there for all of them, I have paid for weddings, college, bail money, bday and christmas presents, braces, cars you name it.

They call me Dad, not some jackass who managed a sperm donation and split as soon as things got tough.

p.s. I'm a granpa as well, and once again these men have sold themselves very short.

Has it ever come to anyones attention that blood test should be done at the birth of the child, I'm a guy and seriously, this is becoming common placed, it's something that is unfair in general.

If you are found to be the father, then pay your dues, its understandable, you did the deed, say pay up.

If not, then don't.

The court shouldn't go through this in general, bottom line. it is only a couple hundread bucks to take a test., but I do think it should provided by gov't, if they are willing to invest thousands into court hearings regarding Child support payments, the least they can do is get a test done.

It also does bear mentioning that fathers really have no say and no choice in any matter concerning actually being fathers aside from the abillity to say "no" before sex or else wear a rubber. While I am opposed to abortion and believe it shouldn't be an on-demand so-called "right," I also recognize that prospective fathers have no such bail out. Apparently a woman has the right to make a choice because "it's her body" but a man has no right to make any choice because "It's his wallet, paycheck, and livelihood." The entire process totally revolves around the woman, with her having the abillity to either snuff out a life (even one the father may want to care for and raise) or birth the child and then make the man pay for it for the next 18 years (even if said man doesn't want that responsibillity.)

...and women dare have the audacity to say that they are discriminated against in the American system.

reply to post by deadbang


Gave you a star bud,

But its still a matter of choice... the dad seems to be the losser in most aspects of child support. Even if he wants to be a good dad and be there, everything is left up to the mom. Child support sucks because we don't know exactly where that money goes and in some aspects, like the situation posted, we don't know if thats our kid. I went through that myself, its scary as hell.

I guess you can say my bottom line is, if I'm going to pay up for the next 18 years, then the law should merit equal rights in the decision, and not let it be so one sided. A test should be done to determine that you are the father, whether you want costody, visitation rights ect.

just my 2 cents.

[edit on 12/8/2008 by FoxStriker]

reply to post by FoxStriker

Fox, Thanks and I agree 100%, in most if not all cases of custody and praternity...the cards are heavily stacked against the father or suspected father.
That is the main reason I went hard for custody of my 3 from my first marriage, figured if I am going to have to pay one way or another, then I want the benefits of the children in my life...it was the right thing to do IMO...my first has had nothing but a string of men in her life that hardly stuck around long enough to actually be called "husband".

Advice I have given to everyone of my sons (5)...wear a sock on it man, 30mins of pleasure can cost you a lifetime of headache if your not ready to be a father.

Here's the thing we're all overlooking in this case gentlemen. (admittedly, I use this term with much assumption)...

The accused never formed an emotional or physical bond with the child. If you read the Pa state law... that plays a major factor in case precedent. The accused had no, or limited contact with the child.

Another point to think about... Too many times a custody order is not filed in the court system, leaving the question of custody in legal limbo. The child, or children are often used as pawns in an emotional battle between estranged parents. Parents without custody orders often "disappear" to deprive the former mate of the joy of raising the child merely out of spite.

I've seen some messed up stuff happen to folks around here from Dauphin County Domestic Relations, and they're the agency tasked with overseeing the welfare of children. Come to think of it, that last sentance almost sounds creepy when you read it out loud, doesn't it?

A friend of mine can not leave Calif because of arrest warrants for failure to pay child support.
The strange part is the cailf courts have ruled based on a DNA test that the child is not his.

What happened was that his GF claimed the kid was his and he got a DNA test and was cleared by the calif court when she lived in Calif

The girlfriend then moved to Arkansas and applied for welfare naming him as the father again. Even though the DNA test showed he is not.

The state of arkansas then sent him a letter telling him to pay child support.
he sent the court paperwork from Calif to Arkansas and they told him if he did not pay they would have him arrested. that the Calif court paperwork did not mean anything in Arkansas.

The only thing he has been able to do is the Calif judge put out a arrest warrant on the girlfriend for fraud and contempt of court for naming him as the father after the Calif court had ruled he was not. So now she can not leave Arkansas or she will get arrested.

In this case the state of Calif knows who the father is. And he is doing time in state prison. The state did a state DNA records search after my friend was cleared and found the real father. but Arkansas knows they can get no money from someone in a calif prison.

Its all about the state not wanting to pay money for welfare.
they want someone else to pay even if they have to commit a illegal act to get the money.



[edit on 8-12-2008 by ANNED]

reply to post by burdman30ott6


yea, the whole thing is just so screwed up. When the kid turned 18 I thought the child support garnishment would automatically stop, but it doesn't. I had to get her to sign a paper to get it to stop. I kept having to pay until the kid was almost 20.

I wish there was a law where the hospital automatically did a paternity test when a child is born to avoid these horrible situations.

What amazes me is how the women in these cases are just so cold that they would make a guy who is not even the father pay #ploads of money for years while all the time knowing the truth.