Bellevue man facing charges for having sex with a table

Bellevue man facing charges for having sex with a table

www.wtol.com

Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table.

The neighbor -- who wishes to remain anonymous -- saw Price walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole for the umbrella to have sex.

(visit the link for the full news article)

What is this world coming to? Should this man be viewed as a sicko? Is desperation reason enough to do something like this? Should these stories even be news worthy? You tell me.

www.wtol.com
(visit the link for the full news article)

What in the world?! Whatever floats his boat I suppose.. I'm wondering why the neighbors stood there and watched long enough to tape it. Wouldn't that make them peeping tom's?

Hey no sexual threads around here mang!

Hey

I see a movie deal here....

**Insert Dramatic Music**

From the guys that bought you

American Pie

American Pie 2

American Pie The Wedding

And

Jeesus Christ That Thing Should Be Passed Its Used By Date Now

A Where Running Out Of Ideas Production ....


American Picnic Table

The story of a mans love for the great outdoors and its furniture.



PS. I find it amusing that he wasn't happy with the missionary way of doing things so he got experimental lol .

Seriously now, The guy was just across from a playground aswell, That being said i think that that is the main issue here . Like dont get me wrong i mean this guy is obviously tapped but that sort of thing around areas where children are is especially bad and the law should do more then simply kick him in the rear for it .I know if that guy was across from where my children played, i would go over there and give him more then a kick thats for sure.


Omega


[edit on 31/3/2008 by Omega85]

reply to post by Omega85

I agree. Why couldn't he simply take it inside. There is obviously a screw loose in this mans head. He shouldn't have been outside, the next door neighboor did the right thing except that he let this man do it 4 times before something was done about. I hope his neighbors keep an eye on him.

Something like this happened over in Brittain not too long ago, only the guy was arrested for "Simulating sex with a bicycle" while in his own private room. some thngs you just need to leave lone. not like the guy is dangerous or anything.

or maybe he was, how old was the picnic table?

And yet, who here among us, especially during the teen age years, has not tried to have sex with inanimate objects, including but not limited to:

1. The linoleum (*)
2. Couch
3. Lamp
4. The couch, again
5. Stuffed animals

(*)XANDER: I'm seventeen. Looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex...

Fortunately the neighbors never caught on to it...uh, not that I would know anything about that, and/or am too old to remember any of it.

I dont blame him, picnic tables are great!
It was probably the feeling he got when he knew that people could have been watching, kinda like a sex in public thing!
Wow linoleum and lamps...odd!

reply to post by Givenmay


Yeah, picnic tables get a lot of action...though usually not by themselves.

The linoleum was, of course, a joke to allow the Buffy ref.


And lamps? Let's just say 'electrifying'! and leave it at that. :bash:

I was gonna say it was the only way he could get wood but I don't know if I should..
What's next? a 'treesome'?

Seriously,you've got to get pretty hammered to try this .

edit..
Aww boo.. I just read that the table was metal.. That kinda spoils the jokes.. Blummin cheap Yanky furniture :bash:.

[edit on 31-3-2008 by AGENT_T]

Hey all.


I think its important to state that the point here is not the fact that this guy did some strange things with his outdoor setting or that its not an uncommon thing to seek stimulation from inanimate objects (LOL ) But i would agree with Agent T that you would have to be in a near death like state of intoxication before even thinking that your bike or something needs some loving.

The point here is that The man did this stuff across from and in full view of a children's playground , on more then one occasion. That is wrong and he should be made to suffer more then a slap on the wrist for it

He obviously knew what he was doing , now thats sick and disturbed to me.

Omega

He needs to build a privacy fence.

I have to ask, what kind of table was it? Was it a wooden picnic table? I mean, wasn't he afraid of getting any splinters? OUCH!

Originally posted by schism85
... Should these stories even be news worthy? You tell me...

Sounds like your opinion is No.


Which makes me wonder why you would bring this to a Family-friendly site??

Especially BTS.

And Breaking News ? :shk:

"But officer, it she reminds me of an Irish woman I once loved....Patty 'O Furniture"

reply to post by Jbird


I did'nt post it on here originally, I posted it in the wrong forum on ATS so they put it here. I thought the story was funny, but not news worthy. I thought people would get a kick out of this story and lighten things up a little bit. I apologize if it offended you but, that was not my intention. Why can't you just delete it?

[edit on 3-4-2008 by schism85]

reply to post by schism85

I thought the story was funny, but not news worthy.

It appears your thread was moved from the 'Breaking Alternative News' forum.(BAN)

Are you saying you posted it originally somewhere other than BAN ?

Either way, I guess I'm just missing how yet another story of abhorrent human sexual behavior, is newsworthy.
These stories are a dime a dozen, these days and not hard to find.


It doesn't necessarily offend me personally, but I do tend to look out for
the younger members who seem to gravitate toward BTS.

I'll just end with a reminder to keep in mind there be youngin's roamin' round these parts.

Bellevue man facing charges for having sex with a table!

I for one am grateful my lamps and ashtrays can keep their mouths shut!:w:

Oh geez, that's is really sick.

Was there anyone else on the table at the time?

Was it a four-legged table?

I guess it could have been worse if he had decided to flip the table over instead.

Don't be surprised if the table ends up on eBay at some point.