My recollections as a victim

Oh and I have other life experiences which are quite weird from the normal, but they are not totally relevant to this, well even though some occurred during these times, and although much more believable than what I have written here about the conspiracy #e, it's irrelevant for the most part.

Mainly underworld stuff of which I have extremely limited insight.

much of what you have reported does indeed follow a process of programming.

Have you tried keeping a personal journal of your memories as they come to you?

I've found this to be very effective in helping to consolidate past experiences - for only when we understand the foundations that have been laid in our personalities can we begin to take the reigns and walk forward into self actualization.

Also - are you interested in continuing to work with these Underworld figures?

I dropped out of that entire scene about a decade ago myself - though it wasn't the same scenario you are dealing with. I just got tired of being surrounded by people who seemed to have no steadfast and legitimate agenda. For them, it was all about playing trivial games to occupy their time, and I didn't like the "typecast roles" they had made up for me.

I just severed all ties with those types.

But if you find some sort of purpose in the world you're involved in, you need to start developing personal defense and control mechanisms - it never hurts to be able to analyze the personality types of the people who are abusing you, and learn how you are being manipulated.

Having trustworthy friends never hurts either.

Once again - always here to help.

Yeah I would consider hooking up with those figures, except I wouldn't know exactly where to start, or exactly what I was getting involved in.

Like my dads mates weren't in gangs and #, they were like underworld underworld.

And they were all anti government control and stuff like that.

I wouldn't be in to petty crime or even violent crime or even organised crime, I'd be in to trying to help, and if that means breaking the law to help then so be it.

But as it stands I just wouldn't know what I was getting myself in to and so that's why I've stayed away from it.

They don't tell you until you are in and I'm not that big a risk taker.

I have a really good memory and as things come to me I don't forget them. I don't need to write them down but I can.

I got certain people I can trust, who aren't from my dads circle, and they are much older and wiser than I, but I don't know just how deep the rabbit hole is and whether I would like to get involved or not.

But don't worry, I have a good memory and won't forget what comes to me. Like I can block it out and put it out of my mind but when I focus it comes back.

I completely understand where you're coming from.

I have a hard tie writing things down these days for various reasons myself, but I know when the time is right it will all come to fruition.

You mentioned you might be interested in the high level Underground, and golly darn it - I don't know how to take you further. I suppose if it's meant to be, it will come of it's own volition when the time is right as well.

Maybe it's just a matter of "getting to know yourself" first. After all, you can't really be an asset to an organization of that caliber until you know exactly who you are, where your strengths and weaknesses lie, areas of expertise etc.

Whatever the case, continue to hold your head high and pursue your own degree of excellence and strength in your life.

You've got a lot better grip on you situation than most people in similar situations.

I'm out here rooting for you.

Originally posted by aussiejoe
Doesn't anyone think it's strange that my dad says stay away from Freemasons, I get introduced to the boss of Aussie SOCOM, who then becomes the Governor General of Australia and ALSO turns out to be a Freemason?

I think the Freemasons are full of it. All of them. You'll see if you click my name I created a thread calling them out on their own compartmentalization. Many of the lower level masons think they know it alll, that there are no secrets.

Your dad probably knew the truth. That there are degrees of masons unknown to the rest and that they are involved in very dark and ancient rituals... its sick stuff.

Again, most Freemasons are full of it. They get off on the idea of being in a secret society but will argue till they're blue in the face that nothing is going on that they don't know about. They're fools.

You were approached/set up by Freemasons and that's enough proof that they're shady people. Your dad avoiding them, as well... a good indication. I hear so many crazy things about the Masons and the Elite in Australia. They are running things in a big way down there.

Also, I always compare things to fairy tales, mainly Disney ones.

I also remember delivering a message, saying that now I have to kill myself because I spoke too much (under outside control it felt like) and pulling out a knife and saying I had to die. Like this I am 99% sure of it being true, although I feel detached from it in some way.

I was then saved by a girl who brought a pineapple in and said it was my head and now we are going to eat your head, and that I can go on now and be free and that my real head doesn't have to be eaten.

reply to post by aussiejoe


Yay symbolic death rituals!

I'm so glad you opted for the pineapple ritual as opposed to the alternative "honor" sacrifice of your gentle and kind soul.

Please, please, please take care of yourself and ignore those nasty thoughts! You are a special and valued person to one similar soul in a similar position out here, and it would distress me to no end to lose a fellow Brother At Arms!

And I love Disney films as well. I can't tell you how much I love "Atlantis".

Have you seen that one yet? It's really cool and a fantastic adventure!

I'm not interested in Disney films, I just used to watch them when I was younger.

The girl who gave me the pineapple and the people I was with were not cult type people, they were people I just ended up with at the time, and afterwards had people trying to abduct me (not the ones who gave me the pineapple). I don't think they knew or appreciated the extent of what I was doing, I cannot even remember the message I delivered, except for one or two lines of it and at the time they thought I was just having a flip out and were trying to help.

At least that is the conclusion I have come to.

I agree with your conclusion.

"Cult like" activity and SRA abuses usually center around taking a victim and using the ceremony to instill trauma instead of therapy.

Your friend and her technique sounded more to me like constructive therapy techniques.



(And yeah, off topic, but I'm not embarassed to admit that I'm over the age of 30 and still indulge my "inner child" and artistic appreciation through the occassional foray into animations. Not a compulsive Disney buff here, just an artistic spirit who appreciates a well played out piece of animation and storyline. )

She was someone I had only met once, I do not believe she had any knowledge of such things prior and was just trying to keep an apparant loon alive.

You're not a loon.

You're an exceptional person in rare circumstances.

And you aren't alone. Sounds like you have a pretty awesome friend there.

I've met her the once, when I had the opportunity to meet her again and become good friends, I declined as I did not have perfect recollection of our first meeting and was cagey.

If I could meet her again I would, but I don't see how this is possible at the present.

I am thinking of ways to do this but I am unsure how to find her again. I'm sure she could help me.

I don't even have a name.

reply to post by aussiejoe



You might find some techniques on this thread here at ATS.

It's a valid technique, used throughout various cultures in different forms.

I'm trying to consciously focus my energies myself, but as an awakened multiple, it's a bit tough to hold the focus sometimes. I'm still fighting off the indecretions of a previous abuser on some issues.

While I respect his right to his methodology and practice, it still hurts that the effects of his work has rendered me useless. His lessons on duality were more extensive than appropriate for a young child, and his penalties were somewhat harsh.

I will him no ill will, but he doesn't own me. He never did, and neither do his associates in that realm.

I still think it's funny it takes so many of them to stand up to one little me.

You'd think they'd realize the folly of their wasted efforts, but some people are pathological in their ego driven tirades and witchcraft. And for that, I feel for them pity. Slaves to what they beleive is their destiny or right, and the effects it has on others.

I can't wait to put all this behind me and just get back to good ol' standard operations of serving my country and my God through art and music.

War is Hell.

aussiejoe, very interesting and it does tie in with some things I have heard. Suggest over the next few months you search for the story of "Andy Pero" on Google.

I do admire the way that you make it clear you believe that perhaps some of what you say may be your imagination. This is the strange, scary dangerous thing about what you have been through. Because of the ritual abuse, one thing that occurs is that it becomes harder for the mind to separate fantasy from reality.

Please note, I am NOT saying you are lying, or crazy/insane, but that because of your real experiences, you are in a state where the borderline between reality and imagination/dreams becomes more blurred with some detailed recollections. Your mind tries to protect itself, or join unusual events that do not make sense and in some cases your mind overlays the dream state with the conscious state. This is not uncommon. I have no doubt that the basics of what you saying is not only what you believe, but 100% real. But some details may be 'overlaid' - please be aware of that.

Please note, most Masons are quite good people, who do much charitable work. However, there is an organized elite, a hierarchy of people, who perpetuate their power by indoctrinating people of exceptional abilities, mental or physical. They are truly evil: they use, abuse, torment and torture to unlock the amazing abilities of some people, then enslave them with a type of hypnosis that limits your ability to exercise complete free will over your actions. Their real fear is people like you - decent individuals with some amazing gifts - not following their orders and desire for control, power, wealth and annihilation of those who oppose them.

They manipulate much and succeed in fooling 99.9% of the public. People do not want to know this goes on - they do not want to believe those in power can be so bad, that they can be so easily fooled.

For those with great abilities, there is often a horrendous price that had to be paid to gain it. The abuse is often generational, families locked into brutal, Satanic enslavement of grandfather to father, father to son and so on. You are not alone. There are many others. Some have abilities like you, others are very different.

Glad you broke out of it. May God be with you.

Thank you.

I'm not sure if I do have any exceptional abilities!

And I am also not sure if I am free of post hypnotic suggestion.

I'll look those things up.

But I am pretty damn sure of these things that have happened. There are others of a seemingly more minor role which I do not have perfect recollection of which I have excluded.

If something is over 60%, then you can be pretty sure it's true, just that with time my memory gets foggy.

If you were part of some program, you do likely have some incredible abilities, even if you are unaware of them or perhaps they are yet to have been fully developed. They could be incredible strength/speed or general combat ability, or very high IQ (perhaps focused in certain areas of endeavour), or psychic abilities or some combination of all of them.

Be very careful of what you believe to be real. What happens is this: you may make 15 statements of amazing/scary things that have happened to you and that you fully believe to be true. Let's say around 8 are absolutely true, 3 are partly true but your mind has done some 'overlay' and 4 are just did not happen. What will happen is this. If you go public, those trying to discredit you will highlight the 4 points that are not true as proof that "you are crazy or a liar", and the 3 partly true ones will have the untrue aspects of them highlighted to discredit you further.

It is possible that deliberate post hypnotic suggestion could be part of the programming that is designed to discredit you should the need arise, but it is equally possible it could be a defense mechanism to prevent confusion of your conscious mind of some of the things that have happened to you. Few people realise how powerful hypnosis can be or how long lasting. It can make you believe 100% what you are seeing is real, even if it is not. The ‘firewalls’ between reality and the mind are weakened, with people having some remarkable skills as a result. However, for many it becomes harder to discern what is real and what is make believe, even when they are fully awake. This is what those who are working against you will use.

Be very, very careful here.

There are things which I am not sure of happening, like really quick flashbacks, which I didn't bother to include.

Things like getting full X-Rays as a kid when I was very young for no reason at all. That I would say is only likely at around 25-40%, as I do not have an actual recollection of it just a flashback.

But what I have written here I believe to be true.

The black car running me over, that's true. I am certain. It was recently

The black van outside my house when I first started writing my story up, that's true.

The cigarette (I may not have written this story here) that was laced with speed and the motorbike girl, that's true.

Weird things happening at the army recruiting centre, that's true.

Attempted abduction at the centre, 60-80% sure it's true.

The bitter tasting drink (amphetamines), 90% sure it's true.

The hospital thing, 99% sure it's true.

These could be new percentage estimates though, but you get the point. Like how when you first started high school, the memories are as sharp if not sharper than that, and I usually have a very good memory.

How do I know if I have broken out of it? How do you break out of post hypnotic suggestion? Should I see a hypnotist? After reading about Andy Pero I am not sure if this is a good idea.

Also at the moment I am on medication to control psychosis, as when I told a doctor about this I got told I was delusional, even though I know I am not. Could this medication be interfering with me in some way making it harder for me to break free, as it is interfering with my brain chemistry?

Well actually you wouldn't know, but people and places I remember, and I have always had an excellent memory.

For example, if I was delusional/paranoid/psychotic about the car trying to run me over, I would have seen it as a threat immediately and been scared of it, where as I was not until it directly started driving straight at me.

That's what I mean about it being real, the threat doesn't become apparant beforehand, where it would if it was someone having a chemical imbalance who would just be paranoid all the time.

The flashbacks may well be real: you simply do not know. X-rays are very common for children like you. Mostly, they were designed to ensure that any implants placed are maintaining their correct position in your body.

With regards to what is real and not, let me give you something to ponder. The girl with the pineapple may have been a construct of your subconscious. It is logical: you delivered a message in the wrong setting (for whatever reason) and your programming would then recognize the error and commence the pre-programmed action, which is suicide. However, your higher self would have recognized this as 'wrong' (please interpret this word flexibly) and would have then created the girl and pineapple as a logical - if somewhat strange - alternative action that does not directly contradict the pre-programmed response (always very dangerous), but prevents the suicide programming from being performed. Of course, the girl may well be real, but just be aware of how your higher self interacts with your conscious self and the programming that you have undergone.

Under no circumstances should you accept drinks/food from ANYONE. Don't leave your food/drinks unseen for even a few seconds when people are around. If something tastes 'wrong', spit it back out. Vary your eating routine.

As for hypnosis, it is extremely difficult to determine if you have broken out of all post hypnotic suggestive states. Hypnosis as it would have been applied in your situation works at multiple levels and in compartmentalized ways. Accessing certain parts of post hypnotic suggestion is no guarantee that all parts have been accessed. Certain code words, images or other triggers can be used to make you do certain things, act in a certain way or believe certain things have happened. The only real way to be sure is to have the file(s) of EVERYTHING that has been done to you (and such a file(s) almost do certainly exist), then work with a psychologist who has been trained in this field to go over everything and neutralize each individual hypnotic suggestion. It can be a long and laborious process, depending on what was done to you, and it won't be easy if certain safeguards have been programmed into you - such as the suicide programming mentioned above.

One good way to try it is self hypnosis, but you must do so alone. You should go into a light hypnotic state and start exploring your own mind. This is certainly not a perfect method, but it will give you some hints as to what may have been done to you.

The so called psychosis you suffer from probably has more to do with what has been done to you than any innate pre-disposition. Anti-psychotic drugs can be extremely dangerous: by definition, yes, they do interfere with your brain chemistry. Whether they do so in a beneficial or harmful way is far beyond my scope of expertise. But for someone in your situation, maybe you should slowly try and wean yourself off it, unless you feel doing so may be of harm to others or yourself.

Most people on anti-psychotic medication need it for their benefit. In many cases - possibly yours - it is used as a method of control: making you question your own sanity, slowing down your reactions and - of course - being used in the future to discredit you and what your say.

Be careful - paranoia may actually be a good defense for you now.

I don't have a choice about the medication.

Although I haven't been violent or threatening towards anyone, I have been put under a contract thingo where I have to take medication via injection every few weeks or I can get arrested.

That's for 12 months.

I am fairly certain the pineapple thing is true.

One thing my dad always said was he was terrified of hypnotists and would never go and see one and would have a real look of fear in his eyes when he said it.

I sent you a U2U (PM).

[edit on 16/1/2008 by aussiejoe]

Your father's experience with hypnotists may well make him edgy, as it shoudl you.

In truth, hypnosis as it is applied in most cases to the general public is very beneficial to the subjects. But in your situation, it was taken to extremes in a very bad way.