Adopt a New Member!

I am new here and would really like some guidance. thanks in advance.

originally posted by: Aknonda
snip

I can't wait to adopt a bot....

Anyone out here who will 'adopt' me? Who 's Willing to read my post before I put them out here. To make sure I make myself understandeble
maybe also someone who is thinking about kwantumgrafication...

Thanks someone

Thanks.

Been reading some of the website.

Beyond the expressions of gratitude to founders, owners, and appreciated contributors of ATS, I have written a short piece which I think may be of interest to some.
Being one to enjoy finer pleasures than both going through hoops and spamming with several posts to attain threading privilege, may I simply send the text to someone who if piqued will post it? One of any number of ghost writers if you will.

Cheerio

a reply to: Ghost147

In fact, I'm sure laying my greetings down right hear couldn't be much graver than a youthful overflow of zeal.

I'm a volunteer from Wisconsin, and have left the USA by self preservation instinct.
Some of what we're about to read is area fifty one grade in the sense that I recommend taking it for fictious if more comfortable.
I however like to flatter my self whom I boast to know well through solemn promise that it is my purest attempt at barebone perception of actual events. Hence I will to the limits of my ability and to the risk of tarnishing the ever so whimsical flow of this first post sprinkle with the references most accepted by those who'd ask for references when seeing the improbable.
Here is some of my "personal" names, numbers and deeds for context, since privacy has been sold -even if we didn't sell- I have only cyber cred to gain by it, and G (or chance, Dawkins, the cubicle manager, what ever you're into) knows how much I crave cyber cred.
Birth name is Yonatan Moshe Baum, googling it will show when where and why I was raided out of my California home by SWAT foxes. Charged comically with lies that Tefloned their self out.
Still, thanks to really cool laws I had to pull every string in the store and then some (I tried to contact the zionist shadow govt through my foreskin but they said nothing) to get out of a cage I was forced into, charged with "resisting" and now called a fugitive, as per documents titled FBI/462383TD8, SBSD 071205233 & SBSD 07125422. I have not ever registered for identification including driver's yet those files call me CA ID X3676241. Bland background data, it gets crunchier.

The google thing said I committed marijuana crime, yet I went through medical school, have been vetted and licensed in CA, # 315258113 and raised my garden out of public sight on property I own(ed?), without any kind of pseudo-own-borrowed bull#. I don't have a bank account, and neither should anybody who doesn't own a bank.

So for the marijuana-is-a-crime people out there, I am a marijuana criminal. For people who believe in the law, I did abide by the laws of the state of CA and even moved there because I could finally not worry about police. For people who are free, I enjoy marijuana. Never bought or sold it.

Point being the word of the expensive lawyer is I'll be incarcerated if I get to an American airport or embassy.
Sounds like bull#, isn't bull#.

I did piss off the odd fancy dresser. Google "Yon Baum" for some free music. Lyrics got the blame, especially at Pagan Pride fest in Riverside CA, the summer before Christopher J. Dorner -may he rest in peace- was sacrificed at Big Bear. None of that stuff is on google now. Short version is I sang

I love public servants too
they say *mandatory* like it's true
I have a badge, blue light, a hat
my opinion is just that

and other songs, like I promised the chick a forty minute gig, but that was the vibe.

I am known by more than seventeen dozen locals by my chosen name of Liberty Wright, and the band was called Hermès for what that's worth, but there's a chance since the site is hosted near Phoenix, which was already such a ghosttown at that point.

With that said, "they", and let me assert my lack of interest for "their" names, faces, & c.
They as in the folk who'd either take offence at a song, read others' email without asking, or say defence when talking about offence.
You all know what I'm saying, right? This is a conspiracy-themed web bit, so for the sake of argument I'll use the convenient aliens. Yea that's it: little green creatures from Pluto who wish they were from Mars.
So they appeared to me several times saying -basically- that I should get a real job or they'd probe my butt, mutilate my cattle, paperclip the bad guys from indiana jones and seal off previously public areas.

Problem is I liked my hippy job just fine, owed my life and education to my parents, and nothing else to anyone. So I said no and that makes the aliens' power trip worse.

Subsequently I fled to the beautiful Balkans where I met like-minded people who had alien reservations of their own, then to the middle east in a bid to hear from G.
Before the classic there is no god bit gets too intense, which I believe is wise if somewhat incomplete: it's part one of commandment one. In ten! I've always been seduced by a legal system I could memorize through counting fingers.
Of course, it is perhaps equally reasonable to say bacteria grow tits at some point when they become elephants, truffles and redwoods through unobserved periods of time, because an unobserved period of time before that, something/nothing exploded into everything.

I like the poetry of that, and I'm pretty sure my Moses won't butt probe your Moses if you think dogs become cats through unobserved periods of time. It's just the smug dismissal of mysticism as incompatible with knowledge (yea in Latin knowledge was called science bro -well the verb scire means to know-) and that is funny because borrowed remnants of this noble language were fused into the English language through the Roman Catholic Church. The genesis of your appellation of your irreligious cosmogony which you have to Greek out to even define comes from that other not irreligious cosmogony which brings you words such as genesis, cosmogony, and science. Also, "not giving pearls to swine" means the tree of science of good and evil story of a girl and a serpent isn't about apples. The point of G is to be able to say yes I have a boss, he's just not in the office so you're not my manager. This is why I trust Muslims over the previous Philistines who just worshipped the fool who smooth talks offence into defence. Wink.

Oy vey how I want to digress into the alphabet just a teeny tiny bit, but hey US scientists didn't translate "science" as the Romans didn't translate words like "cosmogony" and adapted the alpha beta into their own version for a reason, too. Okay just for the cool people: there's a slightly shorter alphabet you read from the right side where you don't get numbed by arabic/indian digits cause letters are numbers and then when you say one thing it's like stairway to heaven where sometimes words have two meanings.
These things are clear to all from time to time.

Of course, a good mistake, as a good lie, must be almost all the way true. Sometimes up to the conclusion.
Like that Chuck D. Lamarck fellow who realises that everything is one, and birds are almost the same as other birds. Yea! they are! and their kids are not exactly the same birds! toucans don't make eagles though.
I mean still, kudos. We've been proven that time equals space generations ago though so why is it that many contemporaries have trouble with the notion that "a long long time ago" is like "in a galaxy far away"?
I'll take it schools are just terrible learning environments for the most part. I've been lied to with such brazen grit in there, maybe some of you also.

Back to the topic of relative interest, which was probably my se*ual prowess. Terms and conditions. All right.

Yes, now I understand:

I mean this lengthy introduction as a way to express my gratitude mostly to our very own sceptic overlord and a way to tell Americans, especially that girl from Hesperia with the drums and the face that I'm still working on finding a way home.

And thanks for the good reads. I missed English.

















reply to: wisvol

I guess I could be "adopted". I'm new here, very new. I never heard of this site until I read Annie Jacobsen's book about Area 51. A little help here. Thanks!

a reply to: lazyfortress

Welcome lazy

We could always use more God's bunnies

This should help

www.abovetopsecret.com...

Don't choke on a carrot
Breath 1..2..3..4.. 8

Greetings. I am a newbie and, so far, enjoy this site! Feel free to 'adopt' me, if you so choose.

Is it too late for me to be adopted?

I'd say I'm still new (ish) lol.

originally posted by: refined
a reply to: lazyfortress

Welcome lazy

We could always use more God's bunnies

This should help

www.abovetopsecret.com...

Don't choke on a carrot
Breath 1..2..3..4.. 8

YOU are a new member. Where did this thread go?

I want to be adopted
Feel Lost

a reply to: Banshee

I am a NOOB! Someone adpot me please

Super n00b here. Adopt me pls [email protected]

I've been looking at this site for about 3 years and have been on other websites. I can be "adopted" sounds weird me typing that haha.

a reply to: Ghost147

Ghost... I am not a bot! But I am new and I could use some guidance from an experienced member. I won't bug the hell out of you but I really don't know #. I've been reading ATS posts for years, but now I have some things to discuss.

I want to be ADOPTED!!! Really I need some guidance on the site! Thanks

Yeah, I am a jaded sob with a snarky sense of humor at times. If you guys still want some help message me. Or reply here.

I am down to point you to your intended path.

I charge m&ms for evey instance of assistance.

A red bull or java goes very far with me BTW. 100% arabica or the jumbo size cans. Unlimited help.


EDIT TO ADD:
I just realized this. If you dont know how to message people, click the little green man icon under peoples avatar and stats and a drop down menu comes up. One of those options says "message". This is also where you report jerks for tomfoolery and where you can jump to peoples profiles and where you can see a persons total comments in a thread.

Here is more. If you go to peoples wall once in their profile, (Wall tab HEART shape) there is a little heart in that section up on the top right that can make them your friend.

originally posted by: SuicideGirl2217
a reply to: Ghost147

Ghost... I am not a bot! But I am new and I could use some guidance from an experienced member. I won't bug the hell out of you but I really don't know #. I've been reading ATS posts for years, but now I have some things to discuss.

Absolutely! Feel free to send me a U2U (private message) whenever you'd like to.

You can do that by clicking on the little green figure at the bottom left of my profile information right here in this post (it's the one under my avatar). just click "send message" and you're good to go.

Or, you can also click the button at the top-right of this page that looks like a little envelope.

It will bring you to a new page where on the right hand side will be a few blank boxes.

Place my username (Ghost147) exactly how it's spelled into the "send to:" box, and send away