Soul mates

I'm going now throw a dreadful period. The person I loved the most died 2 days ago. I don't know what a soul mate can be... while I was with her we connected so deeply in each other's mind and emotions, even without any touch, or physical contact.

When I first met her, I felt immediately attracted to her, first from an intellectual perspective and our bond grew stronger for the following months. And our lives until then were like the mirror of each other's: the same kind of events, the same kind of reactions to them.

I can honestly say she was the person I loved the most, and though we never even kissed, we felt, and we talked about that mutual feeling also, that when we were one near the other we were home.

During these 2 days the questions that keep popping into my mind are:

1. is there such thing as soul mates, or there is just lots and lots of empathy between two people?
2. if we were soul mates, how could we be sure about that?
3. are soul mates destined to spend their lifetime looking for each other, just to loose their selves once more, so they keep searching over, and over again?
4. or (the typical ATS question) am I just being paranoid and sad about feeling death so directly in my life, depriving me from the one person that could bring me light no matter how surrounded by darkness I could find myself?

First, let me say I'm so sorry for your loss.

I am a great believer in soul mates. My wife and I are currently very far apart in separate countries, but she knows almost immediately if I have done something she doesn't like. I can never keep anything from her longer than a day or so. We've been through so much together, but we're still together, and even though things are terrible for us right now, she's willing to hold on and let me try to fix them. If she isn't my soulmate, then I don't know who else it could be.

I am very sorry to hear about your loss, I can empathize with you. I hope to be able to shed some light on your questions and maybe give you some direction to go for some understanding and closure.

is there such thing as soul mates, or there is just lots and lots of empathy between two people

"Soulmate" is such an overused term that even though I understand what is meant by it, something inside involuntarily shakes my head no. What I think a better referece might be is a 'Soul Twin'. As we are all souls, we are all one together, not mated or paired for only two people. We are all connected together, yet once in a great while we happen upon someone who you connect with on many different levels, too many to even attempt to list. It just is. This is who I would refer to as a Soul Twin, you think alike, you have the same tastes and you understand each other to a depth that no one else is able to reach. Your Twin soul.

With that being said I also want to point out something that is brought out when a person close to us dies... we discover things about ourselves and the people and lives around us. We are to learn from this experience, as sad as it is, we need to learn that this person brought something special into our lives, do not let them go without acknowledgement of that special gift that you shared. On the other hand, let them go with love, they too have something to take with them, the love you shared. You see, in my opinion there really is a Life after Life. (If you like I can post some really awesome books for you to read, it really does help with the healing process)

or (the typical ATS question) am I just being paranoid and sad about feeling death so directly in my life, depriving me from the one person that could bring me light no matter how surrounded by darkness I could find myself?

Life after Life... they are still with you not in physical form, but in SOUL form or spirit form AND in your heart.

if we were soul mates, how could we be sure about that

This person came into your life to teach you something, please don't let the grief stand in your way of identifying what it was you shared with each other, the love you felt and the oneness you had, your twin soul was here with you, and you are so very lucky to have met her and for her to have met you!

Does that make sense? That would be a shameful waste of what you shared together. Grieve, yes, but with light and with love knowing that one day you WILL see each other again, when it's time. For now, talk to her out loud, she CAN hear you and you need to be able to listen for her, she will respond.

I hope I helped even a little bit.

Blessing and peace
Fliesatnite

As we are all souls, we are all one together, not mated or paired for only two people. We are all connected together, yet once in a great while we happen upon someone who you connect with on many different levels, too many to even attempt to list. It just is. This is who I would refer to as a Soul Twin, you think alike, you have the same tastes and you understand each other to a depth that no one else is able to reach. Your Twin soul.

I think you're absolutely right. In my country we call it, precisely "twin souls". That was what I was referring to when I wrote "soul mate" ( just that these words are more common in English than "twin soul").

I deeply appreciate your words. Thank you.

I think exactly the same thing about how much we learned together; how much I learned from her. You're also right about grief. It has been grief and denial, also, I think, that have been keeping me from feeling. And you said just the exact words I needed to hear, so I can try to give my mind some rest.

You see... sometimes, those things we are able to say to others to make them feel more comfortable are those same things we are unable to tell ourselves, because we can't stand any longer to hear our own inner voice telling what is the right thing to do; what path should we take to pull ourselves together in one piece.
Sometimes it takes strangers to make us internalize things we keep repeating over and over, but which we pay attention no more.

Thank you for doing it. I believe I just recovered some serenity from your thoughts. Peace for you too, Fliesatnite.

I believe this post was a trade off, I helped you come to terms with something so very personal and you gave me the gift of validating my message to you.

Thank you for making my day worthwhile!

Peace is in your heart today and in mine.

Fliesatnite

Dear Falkner
Soulmates, twinsouls just all words. I am online with Zap My husband and I have been apart for almost a year, he lives half way around the world. But we are so close physicaly, emotienly.
Perhaps we can have more than one soulmate, I don't know.
I have no answer just my my empathy, you are NOT paranoid, you are alive. Honor your feelings.
Wis

First, as with the others, I want to extend my condolences for your loss. But I have a question... why haven't you ever kissed her? Just curious.

Here's what I think.

A few months ago, I was travelling on a different continent and met a woman who when I saw for the first time I knew something was different. To make a long story short, she felt the same and we had some of the most memorable times of my life, and I am not talking about sex only. She knows what I am feeling, thinking and going to say. I did some research and I find that she is my twin flame (google that). So, after a few months .. we are getting married. She is in europe and I am in the United States. Crazy, but we both know it'll work. saying I love her does not even describe the feeling.

I believe.

google and msn messenger can solve almost all of one's problems or at least give u some comfort (for me anyway, so far)

by the way my apologies in advance if i sound mechanical.

i got this for ur case

i quote: ' well all u can do for the time being is get out off bed every morning, breathe in and out all day long,

and after a while, u don't have to remind yourself to get out of bed anymore....breathe in and out...

and then soon enough u don't have to think about how u had a great and perfect woman in your life...' from sleepless in seattle.


i guess what it means is u r not alone on this one...take things easy and slow, one day at a time. life goes on pal.

anyway world peace to u and everyone. take care.



and to answer ur question: yes, u r just being very very sad, feeling probably like the loneliest person on earth and paranoid too, if u ask me.

Wis,

I am glad you are with the person you are supposed to be with, and whatever trials come your way I believe you will overcome them. I can see that you are both totally committed to one another. But more than that you will learn quite a bit about yourself and each other in the process. Which IMHO is one of the main reasons we are here. To teach, to learn and above all to love.

As for your comment:

Soulmates, twinsouls just all words

Words are descriptions of feelings and emotions and meanings, not simply text. It is in the belief system and yes, even though we appear to be splitting hairs here on whether the term should be soul mates or soul twins, there really is a difference between the two.

ALTHOUGH... I do understand what you mean in regards to your Husband and He you.

I am a great believer in soul mates. My wife and I are currently very far apart in separate countries, but she knows almost immediately if I have done something she doesn't like. I can never keep anything from her longer than a day or so. We've been through so much together, but we're still together, and even though things are terrible for us right now, she's willing to hold on and let me try to fix them. If she isn't my soulmate, then I don't know who else it could be.

You two are connected very deeply and that is something not everyone has. It is indeed special. I think what you might be referring to is your emotional connection which doesn't necesarrily need words. It's much more than that for the two of you... I applaud You and Zap's tenacity in working through life together.

Falkners post asked about soul mates, if one doesn't need a term to describe what he or she feels that's wonderful but Falkner wanted to know a little more about the concept of Soul mates or Soul Twins. Or at least someone's opinion of the term.

ArcAngel,

That is an awesome story you posted, thanks for sharing! I believe when we do meet our 'Significant Other' we just know. There isn't a shred of doubt when you look into their eyes and there they are! Twin flame... I haven't heard that term for quite some time... don't need to google that one! lol I am happy for you and her... enjoy your life together you deserve it!

Lot's of peace to all who commented and lot's of love for those who have it or are still searching.



[edit on 12-1-2006 by Fliesatnite]

First, I must thank you all for your support and your kind words.

Second, I must say I didn't write or come here for a long time and I am not sure why I turned back again to ATS board, precisely during such a hard time. But, somehow I'm glad I did.

Fliesatnite is right when he/she says I was looking for some light upon this topic of "soul mates", or "twin souls". It is true. Though I think my doubts and questions are much more connected to the "what for?" question. We, somehow, always try to figure out a reason to everything.
The "soul mate" doubt was the first step to find out the question I was truly after: "What was the purpose?" Not the purpose of death, but the purpose of life. And I reached the conclusion the purpose of life is inside all the things death, as a physical consequence, cannot reach.

And, under my perspective, all of you are right.

Fliesatnite is absolutely right about how much we learn from each other.

rottonralph101 is also 100% correct when he says we are not alone - and every single one of you is a living proof of that, when you give me your support.

ArcAngel's testimonial is a source of hope, inspiration and faith we should hold on to, trying to make it happen in our own lives (ArcAngel, btw, we didn't kiss, probably because it was not meant to be, and also because when we were together we didn't feel it was "necessary".... - this is not the right word - ... we fulfilled our deepest needs in such ways that physical became minor... but it was not only that... I'm really finding it very hard to express the wholeness we felt.).

WalkInSilence, you gave a precious thought: to honor our feelings. The funeral took place today, and I kept that thought of yours in mind the all day. It helped me keeping a sense of responsibility... it is my responsibility to preserve and multiply every goodness I received from her. Thank you.

Thank you all.

(My apologies if this thread got a bit off the topic, but I think it was extremely helpful and filled with extraordinary good feelings and thoughts.)


[edit on 12-1-2006 by Falkner]

Falkner,

I must say I didn't write or come here for a long time and I am not sure why I turned back again to ATS board, precisely during such a hard time. But, somehow I'm glad I did.

You came here for this exact reason... you learned many things, not only about your loss, but you learned more about yourself and it verified your own beliefs. You are on the right path, and these heartfelts posts from all of us here are to gather around you and comfort you and keep you going.

Keep up the good work, and thank you again for your kinds words.

Fliesatnite is right when he/she says I was looking for some light upon this topic of "soul mates", or "twin souls"

BTW: I'm a She who knew the first minute I layed eyes on my husband (at 18 years old) he was the one I was going to marry. 7 years later we were married and with all of our own ups and downs and trials we just celebrated our 18th anniversary. (that's just a side note for those of you who wonder where I 'get off' ... I really do understand "THAT" connection thing.

Love and Light
Fliesatnite

To All I must say it is touching to read the posts here, compassionate, heart warming, present.
After a hard day at work it is good to see people be kind and gentle.
Dear Falkner I don't know if you want advice forgive me if I am intrudeing your terratory.
The days and months to come is a trial. Every moment is unbearable, let it be so, go through your darkness, dwell in that place of pain, doubt,utter disbelief and you will transform. It is a time of contemplation of silence.
I have seen people ignore thier grief, they become shallow, empty or die.
But don't relieve yourself to every one, but to those you trust, who will respect you.
Our purpose. I don't know. I can read in many books and not find it, but when I gaze into the sunset thanking all my loved ones I know we had a purpose.
Be brave, be weak.
WIs
Bad spelling, sorry


[edit on 12-1-2006 by WalkInSilence]

Hi all,
I want to say that this has been one of the most special threads I have experienced in my life. To me, this post gives hope for humanity amongst the strife and pain around us. If for nothing more, to remind us that we are human and that we can love. That being human is not being American, European, Russian or Middle Eastern. Being human allows us to feel, seperating us from other species, allowing us to love. Being human joins all of us.

Thanks for the inciteful responses, and to the host of this thread, I wish you happiness.. after the sorrow. May it find you, may you find her again.

My deepest sympathy on such a devestating loss, I know words are unable to convey such deep feelings. May you be given all the strength you will need to make it through this. In March of 2004, I nearly lost my fiance, who is at the very least a soulmate, and if the online sites are right, we fit the description of what are called twin flames better. These are just labels. The experience is something that I have been unable to describe to people who haven't been there. It is my belief that you know if you are soulmates, no one needs to confirm it, and even if they denied it, that doesn't matter, you know.
My fiance was on lifesupport 8 days, and still has a long way to go. The experience has been unreal. It is not something I would wish on anyone, but if it was something that I could have avoided by not connecting and experiencing that bond, I'd still do the same. Tough sledding though. Nothing has been more difficult, and maybe that will be the same for you. I know how doubtful I am that anything to come can top mine.
My heart goes out to you.

My condolences for your grief. I hope you have healed this past year and a half. The loss always lingers but it will get better as the years pass. Keep believing in a higher power.

Please if the OP reads this I hope I am not offending you with the rest of my post.

Originally posted by WalkInSilence
posted on 11-1-2006 @ 10:22 PM
Soulmates, twinsouls just all words. I am online with Zap My husband and I have been apart for almost a year, he lives half way around the world.

This makes no sense.

Something does not add up you said you have been apart for almost a year November 1st 2006? I thought he had been with you in the states at that time.





[edit on 9-4-2008 by LoneGunMan]

Sorry for you loss Falkner. I am reminded of the two successful NY'rs who met each other and immediately fell in love. She developed the flu and while flying out to a job died in transit on the plane. He flies now just to feel closer to her. Lisa F. you waited for me 3 yrs. Sorry I couldn't pull my threads together. I am deeply sorry. You have no idea how much. Heard on npr two years ago.

reply to post by Falkner


I am so sorry for your loss, and I cant imagine your pain because I have never found my soul mate. I can imagine, though, that this is a terrible time for you.
I do believe in soul mates, karma, and reincarnation. I believe you will find each other again, in another life, and only when it its time for you to find each other. That doesnt mean that it is over for you, though. You can still find comfort in close friends, family, and maybe one day another love. Hang in there- my prayers are wth you. I hope you know how lucky you are to have found your soul mate. I hope that can be some comfort for you.

edited for sp and punct

[edit on 12-4-2008 by raven bombshell]

reply to post by Falkner


My dear falkner,
Yes there are soul mates, and I also understand that there are original souls who did not split at our 'cosmic birth'... My soul split for sure and we have met up in this life to live the rest of our days together. I dreamt of her 2 times prior to meeting here. The first time was 10 years prior, the second one was 7 years.. and I understand the dreams and why they came durring this time frame...Another thing is that her daughter (we met when I was 31) who was 9 at the time gave me a big "where have you been all this time" type hug (long story with my wife's first marriage)... It was a spiritual awakening and rememberance off who I am from and that we are all from the same. I can also see soul mates not marrying in a life spent together. The main purpose is to learn and you can do that with or with out your soul mate or there are things that your soul mate must learn and your side must not.. the complexity of all the possibilities are endless.
I hope that you are doing well and recovering from a 'harder' time that is experienced every incarnation (death of a loved one) My Peace be with you through Unconditional LOVE!

raven,
You may have met your soul mate and because of the nature of the 'contract' you two were not to be in LOVE, but that is pretty good acting cause you can tell your soul mate regardless I believe. (The only person who is exactly like you)... Can I throw something even crazy in the mix? Yes soul mates are here in 'same sex' senarios :shock:
Peace and Harmony through Unconditional LOVE..

edit: I wonder if the original souls who did not split could split at any time, a given time or no time at all... hrmm..... (I do not see these personalities longing for 'another', meh who knows)

reply to post by constantine70


Constantine-
I agree that soul mates are not always romantic partners. I think you can find a friend of same or opposite sex who "completes" you. I have not really found that, so I walk around feeling incomplete. I have always felt I had a twin brother somewhere from whom I was separated. My Mom promises me she did not give birth to twins, lol. I just feel like maybe I am not meant to find him/her this lifetime or it just hasn't happened yet. I am not despairing about it at all.