Manipulated Grief to Foment Anger

Manipulated Grief to Foment Anger (or just some ramblings of a troubled mind)

Hi friends,
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been pretty mad lately. Although I’d be the first to admit to a hot temper, anger is not a natural state of being for me. In addition to my own emotions, anger seems to be underlying much of what I’m reading posted online. I didn’t think much of it until today when the question crossed my mind:

*Could the media, along with powerful authorities/outside agitators, be forcing grief on us in order to trigger certain known responses (of which anger is elemental)?
*By recognizing our anger as a common stage/phase of grief, is it possible to better deal with the accompanying emotions, and rather than lashing out at others, find better ways to cope?
*By changing our perspective of this situation from an individual victimhood to one in which we, as a collective family, are mourning together, might we find more sympathy for and in one another? In other words, would I blame my cousin (whose brother took his own life in May) for being angry, or would I want to help her despite feeling grief of my own?


Stock image of me angry and being manipulated


While I truly don’t know the answer to my first and second questions, I do know how I’d answer the third:
I’m willing to give it a try.

In order to argue my point, I’d first have to prove that the majority of us are grieving.
Here is a list of things I believe are causing us grief (regardless of our individual perspective on COVID-19, you’re likely to be suffering from at least some of the following) :
*Life is suddenly vastly different.
Many of us are grieving a time when:
-a trip to the grocery store (for example) wasn’t a hassle
-masks were reserved for heroes, villains, Halloween
-we were eagerly planning vacations or maybe just a trip to a bookstore
-those of us who were touchy-feely were still forcing hugs or handshakes or shoulder pats on others

-people exchanged smiles
-we had a stable career/business
-weren’t thinking of each other as disease ridden vectors
-we could enjoy watching our elders being reinvigorated by and teaching the youth
-our kids were being educated as usual
-we could see our friends, attend our churches or clubs or meetings
-we weren't being shamed by newscasters or shaming each other as either cowards or heartless monsters
-we considered old age and/or having beat illness such as cancer as worthy of respect
-athletes were still entertaining us with spectacular physical feats (reminding us of physical human excellence)
-the simplest of interactions didn’t hint at horrific moral dilemmas
-hundreds of thousands of people weren’t dying alone gasping for air
-we could breathe, enter, and leave wherever we wanted at will
-we weren’t threatened with getting or giving others a fatal disease, with rumors of wars, digital IDs, and permanent changes to our way of life.
-it was 2019. Lol (but not really).

Now that I’ve identified that the likely cause of the anger I'm feeling is grief, any suggestions about where to go from here?

I know that these days, a daily dose of listening to this really wonderful woman helps. I found my new hero in her and have some goals to follow in her footsteps where I can.



The people I admire most are those who are willing to question their own beliefs/behaviors (or the beliefs/behaviors of their in groups) rather than that of others. This takes a lot of courage and honor. Silas Soule and Daryl Davis come to mind:
www.theatlantic.com...
(Thread about Silas Soule, a true hero
www.abovetopsecret.com...
In my opinion, this is where the real change for the better can happen.

I’d also like to move more towards acceptance (not of the life towards which we are being led but acceptance of this period of chaos) and away from the more destructive stages of grief. The control freak in me is NOT okay, lol.

Thanks for reading. I hope you're having a good night and look forward to hearing any thoughts on the matter (and especially on the video!).

This does make sense though I need to think about it more to comment in better detail.

I definitely went through a period of grief and anger at the beginning. I thought I was losing my mind and was the only one but over time, I've spoken to people who were normally mentally stable and they experienced it too. One friend even went to her brother's rescue as he was feeling suicidal and she had to shut down her own similar feelings to help him. She admitted to me it was the first time she had ever felt such grief and sadness and attributed it to the mass amount of death our sub-conscious was experiencing. I kept quiet about her take on it after understanding that a lot of the statistics have been manipulated but instead feel that the grief is as much about being so deeply manipulated by governments and that it is global is even worse.

a reply to: zosimov

*Could the media, along with powerful authorities/outside agitators, be forcing grief on us in order to trigger certain known responses (of which anger is elemental)?

Yes, and they are using any other resource or methods they can think of, to manipulate us as well.

We have been conditioned to believe, trust, fear, love, hate, desire, on command. We could use the excuse that it is not our fault. We aren't bad, we were just drawn that way, but if we are brave enough to willingly question our own beliefs/behaviors, and if we willingly question those that we trust, believe and follow, we may find the answers we seek are not necessarily the answers we want to accept, or are willing to do anything about.

We know the truth, we just can't face it or deal with it. So the internet and social media become the safe haven for broken spirits, broken hearts, and quilt, because misery loves company, and you will always be able to find someone that will convince you that you are right, and it is always someone else's fault.

a reply to: zosimov

I hope you're having a good night and look forward to hearing any thoughts on the matter (and especially on the video!).

I liked this video more than that other one with her and someone else talking. That one went through so many subjects that it was hard to focus on one idea.

People can and do change.
Some people may find it difficult to change their manner of speaking and writing however.
Self awareness is very important to learning new things. Without that, there is just cruising on auto-pilot.

Now how to explain those general statements:

I like to use personal anecdotes.

My life up until I joined ATS 10 years ago can be called quite parochial (in the provincial sense more than parish sense). The towns I lived in were pretty much peopled by the same sorts of people that I grew up around. Racial issues and socioeconomic issues weren't really issues.

As far as religion goes, the questions were pretty much "Which Christian Denomination should I belong to". See, lots of issues never faced. Lots of questions never asked.

As a former Christian I never even thought about getting into another religion. Never talked about it. Just went about with my life.

ATS really opened my eyes a lot, like "Holey Moley! There are people actively grappling with issues and questions that I never even realized! I've taken so much for granted!"

Dealing with race issues is new to me. I grew up thinking that 1964/5 fixed it in America. But noooo! It isn't fixed.

I've been upset about cops killing people with zero accountability since 1975 when I met a neighborhood grieving for one of theirs who was arrested, handcuffed, put into a cop car presumably to transport him to jail. But instead of jail, it was a trip to the hills where they beat him to death with their flashlights. No justice, no charges against the cops. Just nothing. That double grief is quite horrible.

Anyway, I will take a break now, and maybe write more later.

a reply to: pthena

That is why things go awry.

Thinking about it from a personal stand point. How do you handle, how do you deal, with injustice in a world where you realize that justice is not the same for you as it is for others?

I suppose first you grieve the lost of your belief in a cherished ideal, when you finally have to accept it is a lie. But anger is likely to follow. Then, how long can you live with suppressed anger, before it becomes something else?

These are human issues, color, race, even religion doesn't change our primordial feelings. We can choose how we react, we can proselytize ourselves into accepting a new ideal, but we will always be victims of the majority.

We are only human after all.

originally posted by: igloo
She admitted to me it was the first time she had ever felt such grief and sadness and attributed it to the mass amount of death our sub-conscious was experiencing. I kept quiet about her take on it after understanding that a lot of the statistics have been manipulated but instead feel that the grief is as much about being so deeply manipulated by governments and that it is global is even worse.

I do believe that we share a collective consciousness (to a degree) and that our feelers are picking up on shared grief--no way of proving that of course, but your comment adds more to think about/be aware of--thank you!
I also agree that the grief we're experiencing is nuanced and that it doesn't all stem from the same source.

originally posted by: NightSkyeB4Dawn

Yes, and they are using any other resource or methods they can think of, to manipulate us as well.

Agreed. I think we're being hit on multiple fronts and in any way the "puppet masters" can conceive of.
As discouraging as this sounds to me, it also makes me wonder:
Just how strong really is the human psyche? I'd say it's unbelievably powerful to withstand all that it has.

We have been conditioned to believe, trust, fear, love, hate, desire, on command. We could use the excuse that it is not our fault. We aren't bad, we were just drawn that way, but if we are brave enough to willingly question our own beliefs/behaviors, and if we willingly question those that we trust, believe and follow, we may find the answers we seek are not necessarily the answers we want to accept, or are willing to do anything about.

We know the truth, we just can't face it or deal with it. So the internet and social media become the safe haven for broken spirits, broken hearts, and quilt, because misery loves company, and you will always be able to find someone that will convince you that you are right, and it is always someone else's fault.

So true, at least in my case. A lot that is true is also unpalatable--much easier to spit out than to digest.
That last line you wrote is especially worth thinking about.

Thanks for your thoughtful posts!

originally posted by: pthena

ATS really opened my eyes a lot, like "Holey Moley! There are people actively grappling with issues and questions that I never even realized! I've taken so much for granted!"

Dealing with race issues is new to me. I grew up thinking that 1964/5 fixed it in America. But noooo! It isn't fixed.

I've been upset about cops killing people with zero accountability since 1975 when I met a neighborhood grieving for one of theirs who was arrested, handcuffed, put into a cop car presumably to transport him to jail. But instead of jail, it was a trip to the hills where they beat him to death with their flashlights. No justice, no charges against the cops. Just nothing. That double grief is quite horrible.

Anyway, I will take a break now, and maybe write more later.

I am so glad you brought up this aspect of today's social climate. I can't believe I forgot to mention the grief of collectively watching a man killed on camera, and for the miscarriage of justice when the perpetrator of this crime is the very one tasked with upholding law/keeping peace.
It made me so sad to think about the message sent to people I love with darker skin than I. Mad that humanity is so stuck on the exterior and for all that we're foresaking by grouping a person according to his/her shade.
Your point definitely sheds light into other corners of our national grief.