Suicide and the consequences thereof

a reply to: crayzeed

Thank you for your kind words Hun! I feel so deeply about people and things. I can't help but to want to reach out and help. There have been a couple of others as well, but I am not looking for praise.

Anyone can do what I have done. Many people don't even realize the impact they have on other people's lives and are amazed when they discover years later just how much they helped another. It is the simplest things in life that matters most, kind words, humor, listening, just being there and letting someone know you care, a hug, a smile. These are things that shine a light into someone's darkest hours.

originally posted by: LightSpeedDriver
a reply to: crayzeed

Indeed. Suicide is selfish. One pain is irrevocably stopped, the family on the other hand..... My Step-Mother lost her son. He went to study to be a nurse in London. After a few months he made his decision and the last sentence his friends heard from him in the pub was "This is the last drink I'm gonna buy you guys." Innocuous. That night he ended his life, 23 years old. His Mother never got over it even to this day some 30 years later.

I think the best thing you can do for a person who has taken their own lifeis to forgive them. I believe they are suffering on the “ other side”, for their choice, and who are we to judge how much pain they should live with, be it physical or emotional .

I do not judge them as selfish, but as desperate souls, who feel a strong urge to escape the often very painful aspects of life on earth.

Calling suicidal people selfish in no way helps them reach a more positive outlook... in my opinion.

originally posted by: LightSpeedDriver
a reply to: TinySickTears

You sound cold, selfish and heartless unless it concerns YOU. Just an observation. Your replies and matter of fact statements indicate the same. I hope you never get into a dark place, all alone and devoid of rational thought like most people contemplating suicide. I'm sorry your Dad took that path.

if you say so.
i just feel like people should be able to control when to go and if they want to they should be able to.

i operated in the darkest place for years and i did contemplate it. i didnt cause im too much of a pussy.

i am not one of those all life is a gift and all life is precious types.

life #ing sucks sometimes. we can never know how much pain, physical or mental a person is in.

i care about social issues.
i care about equal rights
i want people to be happy. it would be awesome if everyone was and nobody was in pain but that is not reality.

i am just not one of those types that get all broken up if someone kills themselves.

i stand by my opinion.

fact is some people do want to go and i feel like they should be able to.

of course some of those people just need an ear or whatever but i am not that guy.

you dont need to be sorry about my dad but thanks.
he was a piece of # that used to beat mine and my moms ass all the time.
i dont miss him

a reply to: TinySickTears

And again you have demonstrated that you misunderstood the premise of this thread. Thanks. For nothing.

a reply to: TinySickTears

life #ing sucks sometimes. we can never know how much pain, physical or mental a person is in.

I agree 100% with you on this statement, which is why I think it’s in bad taste to judge anyone who has committed suicide... or is contemplating it. They need compassion and understanding, not more judgement from a world that is already judgemental enough.

originally posted by: LightSpeedDriver
a reply to: TinySickTears

And again you have demonstrated that you misunderstood the premise of this thread. Thanks. For nothing.

whatever
there are consequences
people need saved
not everyone really wants to

that about cover it?

i just gave my opinion on suicide in a thread about suicide

not my fault if you dont like it

was i supposed to watch the video and agree with everything wish hearts and rainbows for everyone?

a reply to: Night Star
I have always said the goal in life is not what toys and wealth one has.
The goal is to change at least one person's life in a positive way.
And sounds like you have reached that goal....many times
For you

a reply to: TinySickTears

I wish I'd never started this thread. So misunderstood. Apologies.

I agree that prevention is something that needs to be out there, available for the willing who want to take the steps toward it, but I really am very uncomfortable with the idea of interfering with someone's final decision after the fact like this guy did. Who gives who the right to do that? To me, that's another flavor of "playing self-appointed god", and it's very arrogant.

We don't need people like him thwarting deaths at those traditional places of ending your life, we need places people can go to without the stigma to do so, to end their lives humanely so they don't HAVE to jump off bridges or blow their skull to bits anymore.
We are all individuals and we're all supposed to have freedom, but holding the ending of our lives over heads and calling the choice selfish rips that freedom from people. I do understand it hurts people, but that's not for me nor the departed to worry about -- you handle you instead of pawning it off on someone in a much worse place than thou, 'kay? Expecting someone mentally and emotional tortured to wait on your own emotional needs hand and foot before they're granted the right to even think about their own is beyond selfish, and indescribably cruel. And I say this as someone who's half-sister did herself in not too long ago. It wasn't my life, it wasn't my pain, it wasn't my choice to live or not. I hold nothing against her, she's better off now than she ever was alive.
People need to realize that just because you and I think one way does not mean our mindsets, our "you can fix it" drivel means anything to someone living in hell. If I can understand that, and not be broken over a suicide, so can others if they give it some logical thought. We will ALL miss those who chose to leave us, but pound for pound, their peace is infinitely better than a lifetime of torture just to keep us happy. This is the one freedom to choose that should never be trampled because it's never about the living in the end, the dead who suffered while living are more important.

a reply to: Gothmog

Awww, thank you so much Hun! So many people have touched my own life and made a huge difference. Sometimes I wonder if they even know how much.

It is a wonderful thing that your goal in life is to make a difference in at least one person's life, though I am sure that you have done so many times.
Many people do without even realizing it.

a reply to: TinySickTears

fact is some people do want to go and i feel like they should be able to.

Ultimately it is their choice anyway, even if one reaches out to them repeatedly to try and change their minds. For some it is the best choice for them depending on the situation. For others who have been helped, they were grateful that they didn't take their lives after being helped. They found people to love, had families, found their peace and had their lives turned around when at one time they didn't even see a hint of that happening.

So many want to blame the person that commits suicide when it is usually societies fault.

A simple thing like kids missing fathers day can be the jab in the guts that adds the final straw and then the family blames the dead without ever thinking of their own actions in the matter. They gather around at the funeral that may have been avoided had they gathered around while the person was still living.

The whole area surrounding the problems are just stupid. Why is attempting suicide illegal? You can actually go to prison for it.

This truly is an effed up world.

P

originally posted by: pheonix358

They gather around at the funeral that may have been avoided had they gathered around while the person was still living.

Yes...a thousand times yes to this statement.

Unfortunately that's all Im going to say right now because I am presently dealing with two friends who are talking about being suicidal, one who is hospitalized for it right now and the other one may be soon. Also unfortunately a friend's 10 year old son who has attempted to hang himself twice.

I do understand the pain they are in.
I also feel how much pain this is causing.
And I feel helpless about how to help.
This is an important topic...sadly it's becoming very relevant for a lot of us.

a reply to: pheonix358

A simple thing like kids missing fathers day can be the jab in the guts that adds the final straw and then the family blames the dead without ever thinking of their own actions in the matter. They gather around at the funeral that may have been avoided had they gathered around while the person was still living.

Yes, so very true and so very sad! We should never take anyone or anything for granted. Love your family and friends, smile at strangers, live with kindness and compassion. It is the little things in life that matters most. Any one of us could be gone tomorrow. Will we leave behind a legacy of love or one of regrets?

a reply to: jacygirl

I too am having to deal with the issues.

Why is it always the dead persons fault when life continually kicks people in the guts.

This world of ours is a #ty place. The moment you dig deeper into society, as is happening now on a global scale, you get a sense of the stupidness and futility of life.

I would like to see a shift back to the days when people genuinely cared rather than the modern path of fixing problems by attaching a label.



P

a reply to: jacygirl

Just be there like you are doing. You are a great comfort to people. Sometimes you don't even need words, just being there is enough. They know they can turn to you and talk if they need to. I am sure you are giving them hope to hold on to. We can only hope that they hold on and that their lives are able to turn around after. You can only do so much and the rest is up to them if they want to stay and fight or leave this place.

a reply to: pheonix358

Pheonix, life can be overwhelming with horrific things happening all over the world. I try to step away from the doom and gloom and find the positive and good things that are happening, the beautiful people who are doing so much in the world, the people who come together and clean up the environment, plant enough trees to make a forest, help others with mental health issues, feeding the poor etc. I am tired and can't articulate what I'd like to say.

You don't see all that in main stream news. You'd be amazed at how much good is still left in the world and how many people are sick of things like you and I and others. Find your light, it's still there dear Pheonix. Though it flickers and may threaten to go out, it is still there.

a reply to: LightSpeedDriver

One thing that's often not spoken about is the lingering after-effects from people that do such a thing: The speaker is right: Most people don't want to hurt another person when contemplating this. However, these same people also don't realize what their action does to someone that was close to them.

I'm sharing a bit of this to put context: Almost a year ago, I started dating someone that I cared very much about, enough that I was planning on the Marriage-word. My world fractured around the time I was starting the process to figuring out the best way to tell her: I got a call from her, that she was done with life itself and that nothing (including me, mattered). I won't go into everything on the call, but the only (and I mean only) good news that came of it two weeks after is that she got the help she needed.

For me, just the implied threat of her doing that over the phone almost broke me completely. I'm still feeling the effects even now, and I'm not even in a relationship with her. It's been hard even thinking about dating again, because the nagging fear at the back of my mind is the next person will do something similar. I know it's not the case, but that fear's going to remain for a long time.

When people do this, their pain doesn't go away: It gets transfered to the next person that knew them.