Suicide and the consequences thereof

a reply to: fossilera

Honestly, man? It sounds like your own latent fear of loss there, not her pain. You were made to face it. You can't seriously expect people to allow you to lay blame for your inability to commit to others just because someone else agitated your loss fear. You need some counseling to get over that roadblock as much as you seem to think your ex did for her own problems.

I would also like to add that in my opinion the crapy Monsanto food ... And... The drugs that doctors are quick to prescribe ... Are contributing to the decline of mental health . I think some people do not associate that with suicide yet .Now obviously every suicide is not the same, ... But I do believe people are having depression issues because of adverse effects from drugs ( legal and illegal ) and bad food .

There was a guy who came t talk to us, I think maybe in highschool. He jumped off the Lion's Gate Bridge. It's not the Golden Gate, but the show Sliders used to pass off the Lion's Gate as the Golden Gate so it counts, he survived. Apparently half way through falling he decided he didn't want to die any more, ended up hitting the water and breaking his back, his legs, and his arms. He went through a bunch of rehabilitation and ended up with a career talking to young people about suicide.

Unfortunately I don't remember why he did it or what the point of his story really was. But, whenever I see something about people jumping off bridges that dude comes to mind.

a reply to: TinySickTears

Survivors of suicidal jumps according to speaker said the second they jumped they realized they made a mistake.

People commit suicide because of the pain they give to people due to their situation or percieved situation. It is not a selfish act. They need be helped in all situations.

a reply to: Nyiah

Foss is a great guy and it is only natural he would be fearful of it happening again. He needs time to heal and move forward and all in his own time.

originally posted by: LightSpeedDriver
a reply to: TinySickTears

I wish I'd never started this thread. So misunderstood. Apologies.

No apologies needed. It is a very serious and important topic. People may differ in their opinions, but that's ok.

You did good.

originally posted by: Night Star
a reply to: Nyiah

Foss is a great guy and it is only natural he would be fearful of it happening again. He needs time to heal and move forward and all in his own time.

To a point, yes, but if he's incapable of connecting with someone new over time, it's more than just simple fearfulness, and it's more deeply rooted than a suicidal ex.

I know he's a good guy, but he does need to recognize when he's projecting on someone else. You can't go through life blaming others for what stops you cold -- at some point you have to grab the proverbial bull by the horns and hit up a good counselor. If he continues as-is longer than a year post-relationship, it's much more liable to be internally compartmentalized stuff that broke it's barriers, regardless of catalyst. And that's when you know it's time to take some initiative.

a reply to: Nyiah

I would counter that with not everyone is the same. I needed more than a year. (I doubt my drinking copious amounts of alcohol helped either but that's a different story.) Closer to 4 in fact. Once bitten, twice shy.

a reply to: Nyiah

I belong to a group on facebook that deals with various mental health issues. I enjoy learning about the various subjects and what the members themselves are going through and how they deal with things or to see what they need help with. One of the many topics was suicide. They also speak of grief, loss, depression, anxiety and various other topics. Like Light said, everyone is different.

Not everyone can afford counseling and not everyone feels comfortable going. Dealing with emotions is a tricky subject. It is very easy for people to recognize they have a problem and know they want to change, but emotions, like love can have a mind of their own. Some people touch other people's lives so deeply and for them to hear the usual, change how you react thing doesn't always work. His X left a lasting impression and affected him deeply to a point where he is fearful it could happen again. Like I said before, he will deal with it in his own time and on his own terms.

For Foss, love just might find him when he least expects it and he may be cautious, but I feel he will open his heart to someone again in time.

There are no consequences of suicide. You'd have to be alive to experience the consequences of having killed yourself.

Now the consequences of undertaking an action which will lead to your eventual death? That is a discussion to have. Being dead is not being anything. The process of dying actually usually really sucks for the person who's dying. Which is just one of the many good reasons why euthanasia should be fully legalized and those who choose to go that route be provided with the kind of support that will allow their loved ones time to accept it and move on without the devastating impact of finding their loved one hanging from the rafters in the garage 5 days after the fact.

Nobody should ever have to jump off a flippin bridge to end their pain and suffering. These are the barbaric times we live in. The people of the future will look back at us the way we look back at the people who burned witches. Unless the people of the future worship us and make the world even worse than we have.

a reply to: BrianFlanders

Thankfully I moved to the Netherlands many years ago and euthanasia is legal here. My ex-girlfriend chose that path after she was diagnosed with lung cancer. She kept going as long as she could but less than a year after receiving "treatment" she realised that things were getting worse quickly. She arranged it herself and it was a dignified way to go IMHO. Hope was gone and quality of life too. I supported her as best I could in the end but was thankful that the Netherlands let her make that choice, unlike many other countries (my native UK for one). She passed 2 years ago aged 49. Not exactly old. My English family members (an aunt, my nan, my dad and my brother) unfortunately were not allowed the same option so had to see it out to the bitter end.

a reply to: LightSpeedDriver

Yes, in those cases a person should be able to be euthanized. We do it compassionately for our animals, we should do it for humans.

originally posted by: LightSpeedDriver
a reply to: BrianFlanders
My English family members (an aunt, my nan, my dad and my brother) unfortunately were not allowed the same option so had to see it out to the bitter end.

Sorry to hear of your losses.
Was it not possible for your English family members to go to the Netherlands for their final days?

originally posted by: BrianFlanders
There are no consequences of suicide. You'd have to be alive to experience the consequences of having killed yourself.

I think it isnt polite to say this. All acts have consequences. If you arent thinking suicide as an act, how do you define it?

every type of change is likely to start at least a minor struggle or an unpleasant situation. what are we to think? end the struggle before it starts because it has no consequences?

a reply to: Itisnowagain

By the time realisation sets in, they are often unable to travel. My brother was diagnosed late, eventually had multiple brain tumours as a result of the cancer in his lungs (the lungs carry oxygen to the brain but cancer cells can be spread via that path too.) He went blind quickly due to the tumours. Some people just want to keep going as long as possible too, so there is that. Death can be a relief when you are at that late stage.

I've read in the UK media that some patients opt to go to Switzerland. I am not sure if the Netherlands would allow a non-resident to be euthanised as it has to be approved by 2 separate doctors and there is lots of legal paperwork that needs to be filed.

a reply to: Night Star

Strangely enough my ex (who was Dutch btw) explained the process to me. It is exactly the same as the procedure for animals. One injection puts you to sleep and once you are peaceful, the second injection stops the heart. She was more than ready to go. The future prospects terrified her.

originally posted by: Damla

originally posted by: BrianFlanders
There are no consequences of suicide. You'd have to be alive to experience the consequences of having killed yourself.

I think it isnt polite to say this.

Sometimes what needs to be said needs to be said even if some people are bothered by it. Sorry I can't make reality any more palatable for you.

originally posted by: LightSpeedDriver
a reply to: BrianFlanders

Thankfully I moved to the Netherlands many years ago and euthanasia is legal here. My ex-girlfriend chose that path after she was diagnosed with lung cancer. She kept going as long as she could but less than a year after receiving "treatment" she realised that things were getting worse quickly. She arranged it herself and it was a dignified way to go IMHO. Hope was gone and quality of life too. I supported her as best I could in the end but was thankful that the Netherlands let her make that choice, unlike many other countries (my native UK for one). She passed 2 years ago aged 49. Not exactly old. My English family members (an aunt, my nan, my dad and my brother) unfortunately were not allowed the same option so had to see it out to the bitter end.

Unfortunately, moving to another country is not a realistic option for many people. Especially low (or no) income people. And those people are often below average intelligence as well (or have disease processes that lower their ability to think).

The voluntary euthanasia agenda needs to be pursued in all countries, regardless of the bassackwards traditions many countries have towards it. I believe it eventually will be but in a country such as the US, it is likely to be at least a century behind schedule. The general American mindset is if you aren't suffering you're doing something wrong. That is just our general traditional attitude about everything. Not just the dying process.