Couple married 69 years forced to separate days before Christmas

Couple married 69 years forced to separate days before Christmas

Members of a New Brunswick family say they're being unnecessarily ripped apart days before Christmas. Herbert Goodine, 91, was removed Monday from the special-care home where he has lived with Audrey Goodine, 89, his wife of 69 years.

The move a week before Christmas follows an assessment by the Department of Social Development, which determined Goodine needed more care than the home he was living in could provide. Goodine's daughter, Dianne Phillips, said she's outraged her parents were separated after only a few days' notice and just before the holidays.

"And at this time of year, the way things took place, I feel that is abuse to seniors," said Phillips. "It's emotional abuse. It might not be physical, but I do believe it is emotional."

Ok, so they couldn't provide the care she needed but this is outrageous! How can any social worker make an excuse for this. It's just heartbreaking.

I usually love to post about elderly couples who've been together their whole life dying together or within hours of each other.

I'm afraid that's what we'll be seeing here.

In an email to CBC News, a spokesperson said the Department of Social Development was aware of the situation and the family's concerns, but couldn't comment on the details of this case.

"If it's determined that a senior needs additional care or that their safety is potentially in jeopardy, the department works with the resident and family members to facilitate a move to an appropriate home," wrote Anne Mooers.

"Individuals who require a higher level of care than what can be provided in special care homes are moved to where their needs can be more appropriately met, such as in a nursing home or a memory care home."

Ok fine. But it's still not fine.

Despite being separated in the days leading up to Christmas, the Goodines will spend Christmas Day together at their daughter's home in Fredericton.

Well that's great, but not good enough.

Sometimes the rules need to be broken...especially in this case. The right thing would've been to let the couple enjoy Christmas together one last time.

Disgusting, how do these people who make these decisions sleep at night.

a reply to: silo13

I purchased a older house in a middle Illinois farming community. The old woman had fallen recently and the two "kids" decided that they should not stay in the house. Perhaps the siblings were in a hurry, but the result that this old couple were split between two nursing homes. As I worked around improving the house and finding evidence of his work, I would reflect on them and those bastard grown adults they sired.

a reply to: silo13

yeah its bull#.
one of them needs more care so everyone but them get to decide what happens and when.
#ed up

lets see how fast they decline now that they are separated.
that # happens all the time too.

get some old timers that have been together since forever and 1 dies and a month or so later the other is gone too.
broken hearts man.
i believe that #

WEll the link does not take you to the story, which I was hoping to make a comment on or to find an even better place to voice my opinions on this terrible bs situation. Boy, Did I end up reading that yahoo rag on all kinds of stuff I always miss like how to apply makeup after 50, or will wheel survive without vanna? Oh boy... almost forgot why I clicked in the first place.

a reply to: silo13

A sad story so close to Christmas . The old fella seems to be taking it in stride

The former farmer from Tilley shed a tear hugging his daughter after the relocation, but he tried to keep a sense of of humour when asked about his wife. "Well, if nothing happens to her, it'll be good," he said, "because she'll be rid of me for a little while." Phillips said social workers assessed her father last week and decided he needed more care than was offered at Victoria Villa.

May they have a good Christmas despite the sudden situation they find themselves in .

a reply to: silo13

The real problem is relying on the government, instead of families taking care of their own. Only family can give truly good care.

Sounds to me like they are dealing with a safety issue. Imagine if they did not move this person and because they were in a facility not set up to care for them, something went wrong? Then everyone would be screaming at them for not moving them quickly enough.

a reply to: shawmanfromny

Right and they are old enough to cherish the spirit of Christmas as in the olden days before the xmas consumerism holiday...

yeah no link to story
very interested in what care was needed that the social worker decided on

social worker. not a doctor.

has the couple in question complained?
maybe their both ok with it and dont really care about christmass.

but that wouldnt make a good story.

a reply to: silo13

Separating old people now and claiming it's for there own good.

Next thing you know it will be DNR for everyone over 50 and goodnight Vienna for anyone the state deems a burden to society.

And don't think it cannot happen considering our respective nations practiced Eugenic not that long ago, and really never stopped.

Brave new world my left bum cheek, leave the old souls alone.

Link
globalnews.ca...

originally posted by: vonclod
Link
globalnews.ca...

But after a recent assessment of Herbert’s condition, officials decided his dementia had progressed to a point where he needs a higher level of care and the home could no longer accommodate him.

they told them friday and monday he was on his way to the new spot

She says a resident at Level 2 would need a little bit of supervision, while a resident who has progressed beyond that level would require more supervision. “Once a resident is beyond our care, [the Department of Social Development] reassesses that resident to determine what level they are. At that point, I have to follow those rules and regulations set by the government. In fact, it’s against the law for me not to follow those rules,” Eagan said.

Herbert says it’s been difficult moving from a group setting to a private room. He says the last 69 years have been the “best” and it’s all because of his wife, who he fell in love with the moment he saw her.

The couple will reunite for Christmas at their daughter’s home in Fredericton. However, visits after that will be sparse.

i do get what the facility is saying. level of care. liability. he has to move. i really do get that BUT there are ways around everything. there are always gray areas.
he is in the early stages and he was assessed so he must move now?
bull#.
they could have waited a week.

again man they separated this man from the thing(person... his wife) that makes him happier than anything in this world.
there is something to be said for happiness.
so now he is going to go where the care is better but he does not have his life partner of 73 years...
and he is going to thrive in that environment??

i think its #ed up.
and we all know it was not about his level of care and more about the liability of the facility.
they care about his level of care insofar as it affects them.

so now there will be more people to 'care'(meaning watch to make sure he is not walking around naked #ting on the floor) for him while they watch him be miserable without his sweetheart

good call!!

After 69 year they are symbiote's, I wager both will succumb to loneliness with in months. It's a shame.

a reply to: silo13

My mother was in an assisted living home. It wasn't considered a nursing home. These social assisted living homes don't cost as much as nursing homes who provide 24/7 care. They told me if my mother's health would deteriorate and she needed around the clock care, I would have to move her into a nursing home which would cost double the amount than her assisted living home.

In this particular case, if they moved his wife along with him to a nursing home facility they would both be charged double even though the wife doesn't need 24/7 nursing care. It's kind of a shame that nursing homes can't accommodate spouses. Just providing an extra bed in the same room so they can be together shouldn't be that big of a deal.

Considering how much nursing homes charge per month, I'm sure these nursing homes could easily adapt. The spouse would also serve as a second pair of eyes when the staff isn't present.

unfortunately, this is exactly what happens when you give the state power over your personal rights.

do you think that man still feels like he lives in the land of the free?

his generation watched most of our freedoms being stripped away, one at a time.

The nursing home has no choice if they cant provide the medical care needed. If the person died with inadequate care the nursing home could be sued fot hundreds of thousands. They could also risk losing ther medical license with the state. They have no choice complaints should be with the family not finding arrangements to keep them together.

a reply to: silo13

I can't blame the social worker. If the guy died without the proper treatment, the social worker would be being ripped apart. It's a difficult situation for sure, with no easy answers. However, when you rely upon the state for your well-being, the majority of decisions are not going to be made with an holistic approach. It's either laziness or cya that will rule the day.

a reply to: Rikku

At that age they should not have to deal with such stress in their life.

Imagine 69 years of being together and ripped apart, the distress would be enough to put them into shock and depression.
Stress is a major, major factor in peoples health especially in longevity of someones lifespan.
I can't imagine what it would feel like, probably feels like a dagger to the heart.